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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say my daughter can't shave her legs?

311 replies

Iwillpopthekettleon · 29/09/2009 20:30

My DD1 is fed up with her "hairy legs" to be honest I don't think they are that bad, but then what do I know?! She is 12 and certainly things are happening and her body is changing, but doesn't 12 seem awfully young to be starting down that road?

I know she could use that stinky cream stuff and she doesn't have to slice her legs to ribbons like I remember doing ( and always when I was just about to go out!) but she seems so young.

I am not ready for this yet!! Has anyone else had this come up ?!! Help!!

OP posts:
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 29/09/2009 23:25

Notanotter
control issues much? Why can't she shave/wax them herself? Why would you stop your 14yo from doing something so innocuous? She is a girl, she's a teenage girl, and she has the right to decide whether she wants leg hair or not.

I wasn't 'allowed' to shave my legs at that age and it caused me no ends of embarrassment and I was really upset with my parents about it. They, like you, were determined to resist the obvious fact of me growing up

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 29/09/2009 23:26

But why don't you? She's 14, not four. It just seems very controlling - it should be up to her really at that age.

NotanOtter · 29/09/2009 23:27

oh i see
i told you when she HAS hairy legs she will wax them

she is 14 - still a girl - no hairy legs I REPEAT

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 29/09/2009 23:27

NAO - if your dd isn't bothered by it, then great. But if your dd is asking to and is being picked on at school for it (assuming she's at school, you may HE, i don't know!) then YABVVVVU.

I was picked on for years because my mum wouldn't let me shave my legs, or wear trousers to hide it. When my dd asks to shave, if i think there's a need for it, i'll definitely let her.

WickedWench · 29/09/2009 23:28

I'm not asking you why you don't like it, just pointing out that your little girl is approaching womanhood - WHETHER you like it or not.

Quite frankly at 15 I'd have shaved my legs despite what my Mum said, not that she ever objected. What could she do? Stick the hair back on afterwards?

Why don't you want her whipping out the gillette?

ElectricElephant · 29/09/2009 23:29

YABVU - my mum wouldn't let me when I was the same age, and I ended up in the bathroom with my legs cut to shreads because I didn't know what i was doing.

Let her, but either buy her a ladyshave or teach her how to use a razor without hurting herself.

NotanOtter · 29/09/2009 23:30

dd is a very happy child
without hairy legs!!

she is very feisty and if she wanted to shave her unhairy legs she would do

i dont want her to shave at all i want her to wax
when she gets hair we will wax them

as for armpits - i dont have hairy ones so she may not

NotanOtter · 29/09/2009 23:31

www who ever said i dont like it you are making things up wicked witch?

i am keen for her to hit puberty if you must know!

WickedWench · 29/09/2009 23:34

Well there you go, it's not an issue for you and your DD. I would agree, waxing is the way to go.

Hope she follows you on the armpit front. Having your armpits waxed is way more painful than 'anywhere' else! My eyes watered for a moment then

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 29/09/2009 23:36

NAO - the confusion probably arose because in your first post you said "I would not let my 14 year old". Not "my 14 year old doesn't need to".

NotanOtter · 29/09/2009 23:36

phew!

Thanks WW was getting het up then - love my dd dearly and do want her to grow up

Mumsnetters please refrain from jumping to conclusions based on own life

put a pic of dd on profile for you - showing lots of hormones!!!

NotanOtter · 29/09/2009 23:37

i want her to wax not shave ..

my beauticain ( i go once a year!) said some girls who have NEVER shaved have virtually hair free legs by 20

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 29/09/2009 23:38

There is no way in the world I would EVER wax my armpits. What's wrong with shaving?Two seconds in the shower and you're painlessly hair free.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 29/09/2009 23:39

Is that true do you think? Still too much pain for me to contemplate though. And too late obv.

InMyLittleHead · 29/09/2009 23:42

'When she gets hair we will wax them'

why can't she decide for herself? Sounds a bit controlling and weird

WickedWench · 29/09/2009 23:47

Sorry NAO, wasn't having a go.

Your beautician is right. I have hardly any hairs on my legs after years of waxing. These days I can do my legs in an hour with a pair of tweezers

Same thing with armpits Lady GP. Having them waxed every couple of months or so for a couple of years means they hardly ever need shaving now.

And I know there have been a few threads about the rights and wrongs of ladygardening but I'm sorry, I'm a confirmed waxer. Nothing to do with porn or how I think I'm supposed to look. I'm a naturally very hairy girl down there and I hate it. Absolutely hate it and always have done! So I get rid of it. My choice!

NotanOtter · 30/09/2009 00:02

www thanks

'we' will wax them becasue my dd wants me to help her do stuff

that is what parenting is about - helping!!!

WickedWench · 30/09/2009 00:07

Awww that's nice NAO. You sound like the kind of DM I'd like to have been if I'd had a girl.

I've got a DS and he won't even let me squeeze his spots! And I keep telling him that I'm helping lol

PandaEis · 30/09/2009 00:15

NAO i think it sounds like you have a good relationship with your DD lucky her-and you- for being relatively hair free i am as hairy as a hairy thing i have, however not waxed due to the terror of the pain i prefer to shave but i will be happy to help my DD in whatever she chooses when she gets to the hairy puberty stage

Morloth · 30/09/2009 08:27

My Mum said no and I did it anyway, and took a LARGE piece of skin off my leg.

Take her shopping with you for a good electric shaver, much faster, easier and safer.

I don't shave my legs anymore, stopped at around 21 or so, but when I was a teenage girl I needed to fit in.

mrsjammi · 30/09/2009 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LaurieFairyCake · 30/09/2009 08:46

I'd like to know when it became compulsory to get rid of all body hair.

When I was kid I was dark so had dark hair on my mottled blue Scottish legs so at about 14/15 I started to shave them when I hit puberty.

DD has white blonde hair - why the hell has it become compulsory to get rid of blonde hair on your legs when you can only see them with bright UV light?????!!!!?? (it's like that downy baby-face hair it's so thin and light)

I keep impressing on her how lucky she is that she doesn't need to shave as you can't see the hair and I just know that she's going to want to soon

The only thing I really disagree with on this thread is removing pubic hair. I think that is completely unnecessary on anyone not not wearing a bikini on holiday (and even then that's what sarongs are for).

No one when I was a child removed pubic hair - indeed it has only really been written about in womens magazines since I became an adult. Fifteen years ago when the 'brazilian' first was talked about in Cosmo everyone I knew went 'yeurgh' - it has now become the norm (because of pornography I think).

FimbleHobbs · 30/09/2009 08:48

I understand the feminist 'why should women conform' argument. And why should girls have to do stuff just to avoid being bullied - thats dreadful!

However for all I agree with the theory I still shave my own legs because I do still want to conform, even though I don't want to want to conform, iyswim.

And I'm 32, I've spent 20 years or so wrestling with this (not continously, mind, that would be odd) - I wouldn't expect my DD to want to do anything other than fit in when she gets to 12 or so. And its her body not mine, so why should I be allowed to stop her? Its not permanent or harmful.

belgo · 30/09/2009 08:52

I don't think you can stop her shaving her legs.

I've been shaving mine for 20 years, and have recently decided to stop for the autumn and winter at least. Shaving my legs makes them feel itchy and dry, and the skin would break very easily every time I scratched my legs. Having not shaved them for a month, they now feel softer and no longer itch.

I really don't want my girls to shave their legs when they are older, but it will be their decision.

diddl · 30/09/2009 08:55

Can´t help thinking that if help is needed from Mum, they are too young TBH.