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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say my daughter can't shave her legs?

311 replies

Iwillpopthekettleon · 29/09/2009 20:30

My DD1 is fed up with her "hairy legs" to be honest I don't think they are that bad, but then what do I know?! She is 12 and certainly things are happening and her body is changing, but doesn't 12 seem awfully young to be starting down that road?

I know she could use that stinky cream stuff and she doesn't have to slice her legs to ribbons like I remember doing ( and always when I was just about to go out!) but she seems so young.

I am not ready for this yet!! Has anyone else had this come up ?!! Help!!

OP posts:
maryz · 29/09/2009 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Iwillpopthekettleon · 29/09/2009 22:29

o lordy - eyebrow plucking !!
I am going to run for the hills !!

Sort of related to this, there was a girl in DD1s year who add proper/ adult highlights done aged 11, that was someone growing up quickly too

OP posts:
WickedWench · 29/09/2009 22:30

Ah Shiney - you know the ways of the red wine too

Original poster
Iwillpopthekettleon · 29/09/2009 22:30

that is highlights done on her head, not her hairy legs

OP posts:
Spero · 29/09/2009 22:33

I do think it is weird and a shame that many people are so disgusted by body hair on women - i remember the furore that greated Julia Robert's hairy arm pits at some film premiere - it was the front page of many newspapers!!!

But, at 12 (and I remember this WELL) you don't give a flying fart about the feminist dialectic, you just want to fit in and not be teased. if my daughter wants to pluck or shave at any age, its her body, her hair her decision. I hope when she is older she will be able to reflect on why she is doing it but you cannot underestimate the misery that other children can inflict and I think it is especially dodgy if part of your motivation in saying no is as a reaction against her growing up.

pointydoug · 29/09/2009 22:34

yabu

It's her body, she wants hairless legs, you're her mum, help her.

Saucepanman · 29/09/2009 22:41

If the hair is light in colour, maybe get her a silky mitt from Boots, if they still do them? Like a sand paper type thing, but not obv, which basically exfoliates the hairs off. I used one well into my 20s and it did work. Can't find on website, if not defo immac, but agree let her do something if it bothers her.

stitchtime · 29/09/2009 22:43

i would take her to a salon and get them done professionally, ie properly. so she doesnt end up with razor scars, or molten wax burns. or worse. age 12 is quite old enough imo, particularly if she started puberty early. the only time i would say it wasnt a good idea is if its the parent wanting it done, rather than the child, but from the situation described by the op, i am actually more quizzical about why she hasnt let her do it

Docbunches · 29/09/2009 22:48

My DD aged 12 has just started shaving her legs even though she has very fair hair, but she was beginning to feel self-conscious. She uses gel and a Venus razor, I think it's called.

Someone else asked about make-up; my DD has started wearing a small amount at weekends (not to school as it's not allowed) just a bit of mascara and colourless lip gloss. Some of her friends plaster themselves in foundation, etc, which I'm not overly keen on.

DD now wants to dye her hair, but I think 12's a bit young and I love her hair colour which is an unusual red/auburn hue. So far she has accepted my wishes!

Also, she is one of a few girls of her age not to have her ears pierced, but her choice completely.

notcitrus · 29/09/2009 22:49

Let her do it - or buy her cream and remind her to do it a while before going out so the smell wears off.

There's a time to argue about stupid beauty standards that women impose upon themselves, and being faced with a self-conscious 12-year-old worried about having the piss taken isn't it.

[shaved from age 13 to 18, haven't since, although get the epilator out about annually]

BrigitBigKnickers · 29/09/2009 22:53

My DD is 13 and has been using the creams for about 6 months.

My other DD (11) is very fair skinned but dark haired so they really show- nasty boys have teased her at school and she is quite sensitive about it. She has begged me for ages to let her do something so under my supervision she used the creams the other day for the first time.

InMyLittleHead · 29/09/2009 22:53

Confused that everyone is advising waxing. Isn't there enough pain in the world already? Am 22 and still don't think I'm grown up enough for waxing.

WickedWench · 29/09/2009 22:59

It doesn't hurt that much you big wuss! It's over in a second.

And the benefits are that it lasts for ages, it reduces hair growth over time, you don't cut yourself and you don't get nasty stubble.

vacaloca · 29/09/2009 23:02

I was am very hairy and started waxing my legs at 12. I asked the beautician the other day what age girls start waxing these days and she said she has a lot of girls aged 9 onwards. Both my DDs are quite hairy already and one of them is not even in school yet. I want to cry when I think of all the pain to come...

Docbunches · 29/09/2009 23:03

I agree IMLH. I've only ever tried waxing once in my whole life and found it excruciating, but the result WAS impressive. Sugaring is supposed to be gentler, I may give that a try.

LadyLaLa · 29/09/2009 23:06

OMG, definitely let her do it. It's nothing to do (IMO) with being "sexy" as some other poster suggested, and everything to do with just not wanting hairy legs. Give her a break and buy her some Veet or whatever if you don't want them shaved.

My mum refused to let me shave my legs but TBH at the time she was struggling with an impending menopause and I feel it gave her some unpleasant satisfaction to stop us. Same as she never helped with spots, skincare, underwear etc (I had DD bust but only got an underwired bra at 17, by myself, up til then she would only get those stretchy crop top type "bras" (minus the "support shelf" they come with these days). I blame her for my spaniels ears less- than-perkies.

Anyway I digress. Let her remove the hair off her legs, it's not a slippery slope y'know

NotanOtter · 29/09/2009 23:13

sorry i would not let my 14 year old

WickedWench · 29/09/2009 23:17

why?

Rachmumoftwo · 29/09/2009 23:18

Let her, show her how to remove the hair safely and make it a girly bonding moment. Otherwise she will do it anyway and hack her legs to bits in the process.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 29/09/2009 23:19

Those of you who don't agree with allowing a young teen to shave her legs, can I ask what you do about armpits?

CarmenSanDiego · 29/09/2009 23:19

I get the feminist argument but I've never understood why this is such an issue age-wise. If your daughter wants to do it, let her, what on earth harm does it do? She's not going to become a sex kitten overnight.

I don't really understand these girls needing to ask permission to do it anyway. I just went and bought some nair and got cracking, never even thought about asking permission.

NotanOtter · 29/09/2009 23:19

shes still a girl
when her lags do get hairy i will wax them - she is 15 in a week and not yet

WickedWench · 29/09/2009 23:22

Maybe her legs aren't hairy cos she's already shaving them? Don't you think her legs would be hairy by now?

Still a girl? She's 15, she's nearly a woman whether you like it or not.

NotanOtter · 29/09/2009 23:23

why dont i like it???

what an odd statement
just cos i dont want her whipping out the gillette

ThatVikRinA22 · 29/09/2009 23:23

my DD is 12 and i let her use creams to rid her quite fine quite fair hair.

she comes home telling me of a girl with very dark hair who isnt allowed get rid of body hair - this girl is ridiculed.

id be a hypocrite if i said no as i shave. id not want hairy legs so why should i make my DD leave hers?

i think when they are old enough to want to do it they are old enough. its no big deal is it?