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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in asking our upstairs neighbour to move their pram?

344 replies

KG100 · 27/09/2009 16:19

Our upstairs neighbours share a communal hall way with us and have been using it to store their pram since their son was born. We were quite sympathetic for the first six months or so. After that we politely mentioned it was a problem for us as it was blocking the hallway but they said they had nowhere else to store it.

We let it rest but for the last few months it's been getting slightly wearing as he is now 20 months old and there is no sign of them moving on to a fold up model. We raised it couple of times over the summer, basically asking how much longer they would need it and they were non-committal.

So we asked them if they would mind us storing our bikes there occasionally. They said they wouldn't object and so on Thursday night my husband moved the bikes up in anticipation of going for a bike ride or two over the weekend.

We made sure they could still get their pram in and out but they still went completely berserk. She knocked on the door to ask me to move them and lost it when I said "no - we had agreed this up front". Her husband has also got quite angry and stated that they should have extra rights over the hallway than us.

I can't believe the way they are acting (stomping round upstairs, shouting at me and my husband when we've seen them, even though the bikes are now back in our flat) but not having children I can't judge whether it is really is an ordeal to either get a fold up pram, as we have asked, or alternatively build a shed and store their pram in the front yard. I'm sure all my nephew and nieces (six of them) were using fold up buggies by this age but they insist that they are not suitable for a 20 month old. Am I being really unreasonable? When should they be able to move on to a fold up model? And what does everyone else do when their kids get to this kind of age?

OP posts:

mazzystartled · 27/09/2009 17:15

I think it was considerate of you to let them store it there whilst their child was small. It's hard work lugging a baby and a pram up the stairs. Now the cild can presumably walk or climb up themselves it's a bit different.

Is it really an inconvenience to you now though? Does it actually block the hallway or is there space? Would you be bothered if they hadn't been so (unreasonably)arsey about the bikes?

Why don't the two households go halves on a garen store for their pram and your bikes?

MovingOutOfBlighty · 27/09/2009 17:17

I don't think they are griping, I think that they are genuinely asking if they are being unreasonable before persuing it further.

Personally, I don't see why they haven't downsized to a Mcclaren or Quinny Zapp by now. There is no way I would have kept my monster pram in the hall once I knew that the others were getting annoyed. And the type of pram is of their concern as it is clogging up the hall!

QuintessentialShadow · 27/09/2009 17:20

How can it really clog up the hall, if they could add their two bikes to the hall, and it still wasnt blocked?

Maybe they cant afford a new pram? Maybe they want to keep it for baby nr 2?

scottishmummy · 27/09/2009 17:22

in a communal hall,they should be reasonable and that includes not blacking space

when purchasing they should have considered storage etc

gingerkirsty · 27/09/2009 17:23

For god's sake, we live in a flat and have just bought a travel system for our impending new arrival which folds up and which I can carry up to our 2nd floor flat so that I don't have to leave it in a communal area! This will mean me having to either leave part of it in the boot or carry baby and chassis up seperately, but that is what I will have to do in order not to clutter up the hall unfairly. It is unbelievable how inconsiderate people are!

Lucky13 · 27/09/2009 17:31

YANBU. If their pram is even partially blocking the hall it is unfair. Does your lease state whether you can use the hall for storage and if so whether the use is 50/50? Do you have to pass the pram when leaving your flat?

QuintessentialShadow i think you have the wrong end of the stick.

Neither person should be blocking the hallway and the pram does partially block it - which probably is against fire regs.

If the op can keep bikes in their flat then the neighbours must have room for the pram. If not then perhaps they should have bought one more suited to their dwelling.

The op is not storing bikes in the hall permanently, they just agreed in advance to have them there over one weekend. Nothing to do with proving a point.

Maybe the op registered here because, as the title says 'am i being unreasonable?' - well as she isn't a mother, maybe she wanted to get opinions from mothers?

ReneRusso · 27/09/2009 17:40

Babies can use a collapsible type buggy from about 6 months, and certainly most will do so by 20 months. YANBU, but not sure what your next move is as it sounds like all out war. Might be better to keep the peace and try and ignore it.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 27/09/2009 17:44

Does it really block the hall? Can you walk past without any bother? Are you on the ground or first floor?
IMO if you are on the ground floor and you can still walk past easily then you should let it go. It's tricky to get a pram upstairs and yes, of course they could have got a folding pram but they didn't, and prams are expensive.
However, if you are on the first floor then you could certainly argue the point that they should take the pram into the flat and you should be able to keep your bikes in the hall way.
Finally, they ABU to have given you a hard time about the bikes. The hallway is communal and you had warned them.

GirlsAreLOud · 27/09/2009 17:48

I don't think you were BU to not want the pram there, but the bike thing, it feels a little bit tit for tat. I mean, where have your bikes been all this time that they can't be there anymore? Or have you just bought them?

Original poster

KG100 · 27/09/2009 17:50

QuintessentialShadow, Absolutely agree, what type of pram they have is none of our concern. However, the hall is as much ours as theirs and why should they get exclusive use of it. We're happy to keep the place clear and have our bikes in our flat (and have always done so to date) but can't see why this shouldn't work both ways and they store their pram in their flat to. As to why come to a parenting forum to "vent my gripe" I wasn't venting, simply asking if I had missed something as non-parent and trying to get another perspective.

OP posts:

GirlsAreLOud · 27/09/2009 17:52

The fold up buggy thing, as far as I know none of the cheap lightweight strollers can be set so that the child faces the parent (I'm not 100% on this though).

So they might be wanting to hang onto their old pram because that feature is important to them. Or maybe they kind afford a lightweight buggy so they're sticknig to the bitter end to the pram they've bought. Maybe someone bought it for them, and they don't feel they can replace it or get rid of it?

GirlsAreLOud · 27/09/2009 17:54

They probably also don't understand why it wasn't a problem for the first 6 months and then suddenly was for the remaining 14 months.

QuintessentialShadow · 27/09/2009 17:57

So, KG100, you think that just because you can roll your bikes into your groundfloor flat, they shall carry their pram up a flight of stairs? Together with their child, and possible shopping?

I realize I go against the grain, but I disagree with all the others.

I am actually surprised that the weekend use of bicycles is regarded equal to daily use of pram.

kitbit · 27/09/2009 17:58

Does it obstruct the hall in a fire-regulations breaching kind of way? It would be hard to go down that route and maintain neighbourly relations by the sound of it, but it is a consideration. I am a bit of a worrywart about fire exits, so maybe it's worth checking.

jellybeans · 27/09/2009 17:59

YABU to assume they would get a fold up buggy, I used my big bulky buggy for 2 years or so. YANBU to be annoyed and maybe they could store their pram in their flat sometimes but that's the thing with neighbours, there is usually something annoying that you have to put up with!! It could be far worse!!

diddl · 27/09/2009 18:00

Unless it´s a Silver Cross "coach" type that doesn´t fold at all, it should be possible to fold it and store it on it´s side if nothing else.

Original poster

KG100 · 27/09/2009 18:00

GirlsAreLoud, to be honest we've had an issue right from the start because it honestly is in our way, especially if we are carrying bags in and out (even just shopping and my husband plays a lot of sport so gym stuff and golf clubs). We didn't make a fuss to begin with as we were trying to be considerate of the fact that they had a baby, not sure why that should be held against us though.

OP posts:

RumourOfAHurricane · 27/09/2009 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bathsheba · 27/09/2009 18:03

My children have never moved into a lightweight stroller pram....I LIKE bigger, chunkier prams...

But then I don't store mine in a communal hallway...

I think YABU in assuming that they will want to move this child into a smaller pram - its not an automatic progression....and YABslightlyU that this was okay for 6 months but now you have decided it isn't just becuase you think they should have changed the type of pram their child is in...

However they are being unreasonable that they aren;t having a bit of give and take, and not taking the pram up the stairs sometimes (I presume its the "bumping the pram up a flight of stairs" that is causing them to just leave it downstairs

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/09/2009 18:05

GirlsAreLoud, I could put up with something for a while if I think it's going to end soon (6 months) but would eventually run out of patience - and a damn site sooner than an additional 14 months! I think the OP was trying to be considerate and that the neighbours are just taking the piss now.

KG100 - you asked about the bikes in advance - what did they say was the problem once they were actually there?

mazzystartled · 27/09/2009 18:06

then i reckon you need to

generally work on your relationship with your neighbours, because this shouldn't be such a big issue to tackle

AND

consider whether you can put up and shut up, on the basis that keeping it there inconveniences you less than lugging it + kid + whatever inconveniences them

if it is genuinely in the way, tell them straight that it is causing a problem and that as per your leasehold/freehold you need them to make alternative arrangements. and keep your bikes out of the way always.

Original poster

KG100 · 27/09/2009 18:07

QuintessionalShadow, not sure why having the ground floor should make any difference. I've had a first floor flat in the past and stored my bike in my flat. As for daily use or not, they have only just accepted the fact that when one of the them goes away with the baby they should move the pram into their flat. (They went away for a month over the summer and kept the pram in the hall and were clearly not using it every day then.)

OP posts:

diddl · 27/09/2009 18:08

I also only had a pram that converted to a buggy, never a lightweight stroller, but, I only blocked my own hall!

I don´t see why they couldn´t take it up in the evening & bring down the next morning.

GirlsAreLOud · 27/09/2009 18:10

But what I said was that they probably don't understand why it seemed ok for 6 months, and then suddenly isn't.

Maybe they think if you'd objected right away they would have exchanged it or something?

I don't think they should have left it in the hall, or that they should have shouted at you, but I can understand that they might think that you were ok with it, now suddenly your not, and to prove the point you're leaving your bikes in the hall. I'm not saying I back them 100%, I'm just trying to get you to think about what their POV might be.

GirlsAreLOud · 27/09/2009 18:11

Well that's just weird, they went away for a month and didn't need their pram? Did they fly somewhere or something?

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