in asking our upstairs neighbour to move their pram?

[KG100]

Our upstairs neighbours share a communal hall way with us and have been using it to store their pram since their son was born. We were quite sympathetic for the first six months or so. After that we politely mentioned it was a problem for us as it was blocking the hallway but they said they had nowhere else to store it.

We let it rest but for the last few months it's been getting slightly wearing as he is now 20 months old and there is no sign of them moving on to a fold up model. We raised it couple of times over the summer, basically asking how much longer they would need it and they were non-committal.

So we asked them if they would mind us storing our bikes there occasionally. They said they wouldn't object and so on Thursday night my husband moved the bikes up in anticipation of going for a bike ride or two over the weekend.

We made sure they could still get their pram in and out but they still went completely berserk. She knocked on the door to ask me to move them and lost it when I said "no - we had agreed this up front". Her husband has also got quite angry and stated that they should have extra rights over the hallway than us.

I can't believe the way they are acting (stomping round upstairs, shouting at me and my husband when we've seen them, even though the bikes are now back in our flat) but not having children I can't judge whether it is really is an ordeal to either get a fold up pram, as we have asked, or alternatively build a shed and store their pram in the front yard. I'm sure all my nephew and nieces (six of them) were using fold up buggies by this age but they insist that they are not suitable for a 20 month old. Am I being really unreasonable? When should they be able to move on to a fold up model? And what does everyone else do when their kids get to this kind of age?

[MrsGokWantstogocampingagain]

If it is any of these, they all collapse

Brio Pushchairs

Check your deeds and see what it says about the hallway. In all the flats that we have lived in we were not allowed to keep anything in the comminal hallway as it constituted a fire hazzard ie when people were evacuating they could trip over it.

Could you have the fire brigade out to give your flat a fire check and see if they mention the pushchair.

[KG100]

GirlsAreLoud, Fair enough, understand what you are saying. We've mentioned it about three or four times since the start of the year so this hasn't come out of the blue. We don't want to seem like we're on their backs about it, but we do want them to realise that this can't go on indefinitely (which seems to be what they want).

[mazzystartled]

yeah the bike thing might be coming across as a bit passive agressive iyswim
as i said before i think you need to work on your relationship. doesn't sound like they are going anywhere fast.

[shonaspurtle]

My concern would be that they may have no intention of ever moving it from the hall - even when their dc grows out of it.

My next door neighbour had a washing machine out in the hall for over 3 years. I put a plant pot on it, it became such a feature.

Eventually they left. Washing machine was still there so we took it down the stairs and phoned the council for them

Communal living means that it's essential to think of your neighbours. They actually have no right to store the pram in the hall. I hauled a pram, baby, shopping up three flights of stairs for the 6 months until we bought a car and started storing it in the boot.

It wouldn't have occurred to me to store it downstairs where it would be in everyone's way (although that's partly because it would get nicked..)

[GirlsAreLOud]

I think you needed to tell them it was unacceptable straightaway. I don't think it should be up to you to decide when/whether they get a different pram.

I think if it bothered you this much then you shouldn't have just assumed it would be gone in six mionths and should have addressed when you first realised it was a problem.

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would accept that I didn't handle it as well as I could and just put up with it, it's not likely to be another 20 months that it's there.

I'm not backing the decisions they've made, but I really don't see how leaving bikes in the hall is a sensible was of addressing it.

[QuintessentialShadow]

I genuinely cant understand how it can be in your way, when the pram and two bicycles did not block the hallway!

[KG100]

MrsGokWantstogocampingaga... Pram definitely doesn't fold down, we asked him! To be honest, we were quite shocked that they hadn't bought a fold up one as it would seem to be a basic requirement when you live in a flat and are tight for space. But then we just didn't know what other people get as, like I've said, we don't have kiddies.

[dinkystinky]

I lived in a ground floor flat with a massive communal hallway outside it when I had DS1 - still always stored our pram inside our flat (which had virtually no storage space) as didnt want to inconvenience any of our neighbours in any way by leaving it in the hallway. And all of my upstairs neighbours with children always took their prams/buggies up to their flats too. When you live in a flat you need to be considerate for the other people in the building.

OP - I think you probably need to speak with your neighbours about why the buggy is irritating you (.i.e. that there is no end in sight as to when it will stop causing a blockage in the hallway, that they can leave a buggy in the hallway but you cant leave bikes if you ask them) and suggest that the buggy be a obstacle free zone to restore neighbourly peace. If there are 2 of them around they could easily get the child and buggy up into their flat - if there is only one of them around maybe a compromise could be reached whereby the buggy would be in the hallway during the daytime only.

[KG100]

QuintessentialShadow, Clearly they all did block the hallway, that's why she immediately knocked on the door and asked us to move the bikes! My answer was either none of us store our stuff there or we all can. Their response seems to be that only they should be allowed to store stuff there.

[whostolemyname]

I think you are being a teeny bit unreasonable, i mean how much time do you actually spend in the hall for it to really impact you life? If you can also fit two bikes in it, it cant be in your way THAT much surely?

[KG100]

GirlsAreLOud, Of course it's not up to us to tell them when to get a new pram. That's in no way what I'm saying. But we've made it clear over a number of months that the situation is not acceptable to us and they don't seem willing to do anything about it. Should they really be able to store it there forever just because we tried to be considerate and not kick up a fuss from the start? Seems like they are taking advantage to me.

[QuintessentialShadow]

Did you not realize that putting both your bikes there blocked the hallway?
What if there was a fire?

It must be really irritating, though. Just because they have a child, and have to carry pram, and baby, and possible shopping up the stairs, they keep it down there, where you could have stored your bikes, if the pram wasnt there...

[GirlsAreLOud]

Ok, so how are you going to deal with this situation?

[KG100]

whostolemyname, But our point is if that they don't like the bikes there, how can they justify having the pram there? How is this not "one rule for us, another for you"?

[QuintessentialShadow]

Did you use to store the bikes there before they had a baby?

[BitOfFun]

Blimey, I had no idea prams were so expensive! I'm trying to think of a way to put them off storing it there, but all I've got so far is maybe training a small rat to sit in it, perhaps nibble at the hood? Not sure if you'd be up for that though.

[ilovesprouts]

yanbu

[MillyMollyMoo]

YOu know she's gonna have another baby as soon as this one starts walking don't you ? I think you can inist she buys a smaller buggy on the basis that she has nowhere to put this one without causing trouble to her neighbours.

[KG100]

GirlsAreLOud, they're meant to come down tonight to discuss but from all the conversations we've had so far and the emails they've sent us, their starting point seems to be that they don't want to budge. Not sure how we can get round that.

[MovingOutOfBlighty]

Sorry - but I quite happily lugged our silver cross collapsable pram up and down a flight of stairs, yes, with a baby, and shopping etc when I couldn't be arsed to put it in the car.

As soon as I knew it bugged my neighbours I started to move it. Then it pissed me off doing that so I bought a McClaren. (price £80 and still in use 4 years later)
And I think that KG100 didn't handle it badly at the beginning, I think that they thought this was not going to be a forever situation.

I think you need to sit down with them in a friendly way and explain that you didn't think the pram would be there indefinitely and that it is making things awkward getting in and out of the flat and now that the baby is older you would prefer it out of the way. But no more bike shenanigans.

[KG100]

MillyMollyMoo, he does already walk and she doesn't look like she's pregnant again yet! But seriously that's now a real fear of ours.

[BitOfFun]

You might get further asking them to move their pram though than asking them not to have any more kids

[MovingOutOfBlighty]

Why not give them a time by which you want it resolved. Say Christmas. That way they can save up for a new buggy for their toddler. I think that is more than reasonable.

[QuintessentialShadow]

KG100 - I doubt they will budge.

Especially as your expectations are that they carry the pram up and down the stairs every time they go out with their child. This could be several times per day.

Especially as your main concern is that "if you can, then we can too" and block the entire hallway with your bikes in the process.

The mum may have a back problem. She may not be strong enough to carry the pram up and down the stairs.

Quite frankly, I am glad I dont live in a flat, with such inconsiderate neighbours as you.