in asking our upstairs neighbour to move their pram?

[KG100]

Our upstairs neighbours share a communal hall way with us and have been using it to store their pram since their son was born. We were quite sympathetic for the first six months or so. After that we politely mentioned it was a problem for us as it was blocking the hallway but they said they had nowhere else to store it.

We let it rest but for the last few months it's been getting slightly wearing as he is now 20 months old and there is no sign of them moving on to a fold up model. We raised it couple of times over the summer, basically asking how much longer they would need it and they were non-committal.

So we asked them if they would mind us storing our bikes there occasionally. They said they wouldn't object and so on Thursday night my husband moved the bikes up in anticipation of going for a bike ride or two over the weekend.

We made sure they could still get their pram in and out but they still went completely berserk. She knocked on the door to ask me to move them and lost it when I said "no - we had agreed this up front". Her husband has also got quite angry and stated that they should have extra rights over the hallway than us.

I can't believe the way they are acting (stomping round upstairs, shouting at me and my husband when we've seen them, even though the bikes are now back in our flat) but not having children I can't judge whether it is really is an ordeal to either get a fold up pram, as we have asked, or alternatively build a shed and store their pram in the front yard. I'm sure all my nephew and nieces (six of them) were using fold up buggies by this age but they insist that they are not suitable for a 20 month old. Am I being really unreasonable? When should they be able to move on to a fold up model? And what does everyone else do when their kids get to this kind of age?

[KG100]

Niknak21, he's just sent my husband an email. Doesn't even want to come down to discuss. Really don't know how to deal with this.

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

Not really. I'd say a pram is more of a necessity than a couple of bikes- like you said you can keep them in your flat, and you are on the ground floor so you don't have to take them upstairs. They can't be expected to drag a pram up and downstairs several times a day whilst they leave a toddler in a flat, then bring him down and put him in the pram. It wouldn't work.

You asked if YABU and I think you are. Although, as I said, there's no need for their shouting. They should be apologetic and nice about it so that you find it easier to be understanding to their situation. If they shouted at me, I'd be purposely awkward about it and make sure they couldn't keep their pram there.

[scottishmummy]

politely reply, acknowledge small storage.request they stop storing open pram in hall within 2weeks.if they don't comply within time frame - solicitor letter.breach of freehold

would you compromise,and allow it there if they folded it up?

[scottishmummy]

they shouldnt have bought such a big hulking cart living in a flat

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

If they can fold it up and won't, they are being ridiculous and lazy by the way!

[Niknak21]

I think scottishmummy's right, if he's too impolite/childish/just plain annoying not to try to sort this out you have to be firm. Otherwise any confrontation in the future will be affected. Be brave (again)!

[MovingOutOfBlighty]

Totallyandutterly, I did this for over a year, lugging pram and toddler. It was not a problem.

I would be mortified about having my neighbours have to squeeze past my enormo pram!

Problem is, if they are being this belligerent (and right now I would say that although they are parents, the same as me, I would not classify them in any other way than being rude gits) then it is going to be a horrible place for you to live if you go down this pathway. I am such a peace loving wuss I woudl probably back down.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Wtf? "a pram is more of a necessity than a couple of bikes" ???

Its this kind of sense of entitlement, the whole world must compromise for me because I've got a baybee attitude that gives parents a bad name.

Utter tosh.

Yanbu op. If your neighbours are shouting and stomping around because your bikes were in their way in the hall after 20 MONTHS of leaving their pram out there, then they are being completely U.

[MovingOutOfBlighty]

Hear hear bibbity

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

bibbity- she lives on the ground floor. If she lived upstairs and had to drag her bikes upstairs a few times a day I'd say they were being unreasonable and she should be able to leave her bikes there. It doesn't matter what the object is.

[Northernlurker]

Some sort of pram is no doubt a necessity but a pram that they don't fold and that they leave in a space that no more belongs to them than it does the op is NOT a necessity. Of course they could take it upstairs - cities such as Glasgow and Edinburgh with a high proportion of flat dwellers are full of women (and men) lugging prams and babies up stairs. It's how it is. If the parents have particular physical needs that means they can't do this then they should at least fold their chariot. Their attitude seems to be that they can do what the hell they like because they live upstairs and have a baby - well that isn't a unique situation, nor does it justify their bullying attitude.

[CrackWhoretoPaulDacre]

Who owns the freehold if you each have leaseholds? Is it worth getting in touch with the freeholder or the management company and letting them know what's been going on? Because, frankly, they sound pretty nightmarish (as a current and former flat dweller).

[smallorange]

I live in a tenement and everyone I know stores their buggy in the communal hallway. Our hallwaysxare very large though. The attitude in our building seems to be that if you live communally, you have to put up with other peoples crap. I put up with cats on the stairs, partying students, arguments about washing lines in the back court and they put up with my double buggy in the hall and three kids.
I received a rather nasty letter from the factor asking me to move my double buggy. This after some new people moved into the ground floor flat. I am two floors up and was 8 months pregnant at the time. Was very pissed off with them.
Might she be pregnant again? Could this be ghe reason they are so stressed?
I don' t think she is being unreasonable storing it in the hallway - it won't kill you to keep the bikes inside will it?

[violethill]

Totally agree with bibbity.

It's that sense of entitlement that is wrong. They don't want anyone else leaving bulky objects in the hallway, but they think they should be allowed to.

I'm afraid you can't use logic on people who don't get it.

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

I moved out of my flat and got a house when I got pregnant with my first DC as I knew things like this would be an issue and just couldn't be arsed. Fortunately the 1st floor flat and ground floor hallway were ours so we would have been able to store our pram there- but young girl upstairs started storing a washer and dryer down there in the hallway (not plumbed in or anything) so I thought 'nah, sod this, it's time to go'.

It was very expensive and crippled us but life has been so much easier since when it comes to DC (except now we have bastard neighbours who play loud music and keep him awake )

[MovingOutOfBlighty]

For me, the novelty of being able to wheel my pram straight into the hallway of my own house without lugging up the stairs has still not worn off.
But still wouldn't have ever done what they have.

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

Smallorange has said what I was trying to say earlier- but better.

[kitkatqueen]

OP, When I lived in a set flats with shared communal stairwells, the leasehold company would come round every so often to check certain things, one of them was that fire regs were being adhered to. ( They also had special keys to lock the light bulbs in and charged us for the privalige of having new ones! ) If you contacted them about your concerns and explained that you don't want to sully relationhips with the neihbours could they help?? Not really sure if you are in the same situation as I was so don't know if it really helps...

[scottishmummy]

so why wont they fold it up.they are being avoidant saying it doesn't fold. most prams fold, and the brio (pram in question) definitely does.the link to folding it is posted earlier and is on youtube

having lived in tenement flats-other parents manage the buggy up/down stairs.yes it is bloody hard.and that's why you dont buy a hulking pram. you think what makes easier for yourself to negotiate a pram up/down

[YeahBut]

OP, are you the landlord?

[plantsitter]

It probably makes their lives about a million times easier to store the pram in the hall rather than fold it and lug it up the stairs every time they go in (if it folded, I mean). I think if they'd said 'look, do you mind only it really does make things easier' you would be a tiny bit unreasonable not to let them keep it there.

However since they've clearly thrown a big strop and are being belligerent, I can see why you've got annoyed.

I suppose it comes down to how much of a dispute you want to have with your neighbours over a pushchair, really. You have to live underneath them and see them every day, and I know from experience how stressful having an argument with the neighbours can be.

Would you be happier with a war with your neighbours and no pushchair any more or a pushchair in the hall and polite if strained relations with your neighbours? That's a genuine question by the way.

[kitkatqueen]

op photograph the damn thing and post the pic on here - someone on here will know how to fold it and you can then tell the neihbours "yes it does fold and you do it like this" grrr

[kitkatqueen]

xed post with SM....

[Bellsa]

They are being unreasonable, for the reasons given. I managed in a flat hoiking a buggy up and down the stairs, as did my sis at her flat. I'd move it to obscure the stairs or fold it down every time I passed it. But I am immature.