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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a bit sad after my scan today.

402 replies

sally78 · 25/09/2009 13:20

We have a lovely DS but he is very hard work.

This pregnancy has been so so so different and DH had his heart set on a girl........we are having another boy.

We are so lucky to be having a healthy baby and I am sure DH will get over it. The thing is everyone keeps saying "oh I bet you would love a girl, oh it must be you have been so ill, your so much rounder this time" etc etc etc.

I do feel a bit sad, I keep thinking about ballet classes and doing hair for school etc and a little like I'm missing out

Its terrible to feel like this I know I am BU.

OP posts:
lovechoc · 29/09/2009 20:56

that's right because BOTH genders have the potential to become sex offenders.

lockets · 29/09/2009 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tinierclanger · 29/09/2009 20:58

Jesus, this thread has turned really freakish. I was going to post something nice and supportive to Sally and tell her how sensitive, sweet and charming most of the little boys I know are. But I'm hoping she's stopped reading now.

BTW, that 'son's a son till he gets him a wife...' etc is utter bollocks. All the grown men I know are constantly in touch with their mums, and the women have far more strained relationships.

My son is delightful, and before he was born I had no gender preference. Now I can't imagine having a daughter.

lockets · 29/09/2009 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

vickiadele · 29/09/2009 21:00

Jude you may expect men to commit crimes but not many other people do, like i said before you need help, and your step sons may not now but will def see through you one day and hate you for it!

scottishmummy · 29/09/2009 21:00

psychopathy and violence are complex psychiatric conditions not reducible to a few names or perpetrators.as such although society demonises female violence that in itself cannot prevent it.the propensity is present within both genders

Jude68 · 29/09/2009 21:00

Hope you are not saying you're anti-girls tinierclanger???

NotanOtter · 29/09/2009 21:02

girls just dont stay that dainty little patent wearing dolly dragging thing....

they turn into people

you gave birth to people Jude - not dolls

vickiadele · 29/09/2009 21:03

thought you were going jude?

tinierclanger · 29/09/2009 21:04

That's exactly what I'm NOT saying. I'm saying you can get fixed on one gender because of your expectations. Which will probably be wrong.

If you want me to post a load of stuff saying how horrible girls can be, I could of course. But, yknow, PEOPLE are all different.

Jude68 · 29/09/2009 21:04

Yes, I'm sure my step-sons will hate me for smiling indulgently and saying the right things every time they talk about computer games....how evil of me! They are hugged, adored, perhaps a little spoilt, are treated equally to their sisters who they adore....I'm sure they'll be in therapy in 20 years time telling some therapist "my step mum screwed me up because I sometimes suspect she wasn't really interested in Lego Star Wars."What a total load of complete and utter shite!

Jude68 · 29/09/2009 21:07

My daughters are not dolls but already the eldest is leaning towards girly activities. This is despite a father who buys her trainsets and cars. Are you saying their is no difference in the behaviour of children of differing genders? Really???? It may be less obvious, extreme in some children but it tends to be there to some degree.

Lizzylou · 29/09/2009 21:07

Jude, but we are not children, of course Tractors/Dolls/Jigsaws/Cartoons/Princesses can get annoying and boring but they are children, it is up to us to show an interest and nurture them.
Your DD's will almost definitely get into things that bore you rigid. DH goes and stands by a football pitch on a Sunday morning whilst DS1 plays fotball. It is cold and bleak and a bit boring really watching 20 5 year olds all run after the ball because they are learning the rules. But he loves it, because DS1 loves it and he is proud of him and wants him to enjoy himself.
Watching ballet practice would be like poking my own eye with a blunt stick to be honest, but if I had a daughter, I'd happily take her along.
All this violent crime shite, am sure that you are just being defensive because you've made a bit of a tit of yourself with your lack of tact (a female trait, tact I thought?), I cannot believe that you are that dim.

tinierclanger · 29/09/2009 21:07

I think it's more the whole slagging them off behind their backs thing that people find a bit unsettling, Jude. Perhaps you've just got an unfortunate tone? I think the 'free childcare' thing was pretty unpleasant though.

scottishmummy · 29/09/2009 21:08

jude i think you are a wind up merchant.however if you are not lets debate nature Vs Nurture or perhaps brain plasticity and psychopathy

lovechoc · 29/09/2009 21:09

why do people feel the need to say things in parrot fashion, I just said that BOTH genders are capable of committing paedophilia..geez..

lovechoc · 29/09/2009 21:11

well at least a spade's a spade with Jude.

Lizzylou · 29/09/2009 21:13

Tinierclanger, I agree the free childcare got me riled. Those poor boys, their parents get divorced and they are now your concern as well, Jude. You married their Father, knowing he had 2 sons.

scottishmummy · 29/09/2009 21:13

look jude has right to her opinion.we dont have to agree but i do advocate open posting

Jude68 · 29/09/2009 21:16

Why was the free childcare comment offensive? You'd all expect the new partner of your ex (who you have kids with) to mind your kids for you whilst you worked? Even the weeks you didn't have access? I see....

Plonker · 29/09/2009 21:17

Jude

This has gone beyond what you think/don't think about little girls and what you think/don't think about little boys.

Your input on this thread has only served to upset the OP, whom I hope to God isn't still reading, when all she was looking for was a bit of support.

I hope you feel really pleased with yourself

You really are vile, and I seriously hope that you do step away from this thread and allow the parents of little boys to tell the OP how truly wonderful they are.

OP, please ignore the shite that Jude is spouting - it's patently clear that she, unfortunately, has a problem with little boys

Jude68 · 29/09/2009 21:20

The boys childcare arrangements I believe are their mother's responibility on the days she has them. I do it because despite feeling this, I love the kids and their father and would rather they were with me than shoved off to a childminder. Doesn't mean that it wouldn't be nice to be acknowledged as doing her a favour instead of it being expected as "I don't work anyway" I do actually...I look after my own very young children all day on my own. Not expecting a medal but there you go...

slowreadingprogress · 29/09/2009 21:21

jude is attention seeking pure and simple

I suggest another thread is started if anyone wants to actually discuss the OP

There have been some excellent points made, I'm interested in those, not the truly bizarre comments that shine out so very obviously as someone in need of something, well, a bit odd from mumsnet

Original poster
sally78 · 29/09/2009 21:21

Just logged on.....I don't have a clue what to say

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/09/2009 21:21

wee boys are great,wee girls are great.both give love and joy

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