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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want 8 year boys to get changed in the MALE changing room?

283 replies

ParisFrog · 23/09/2009 10:22

I got to a small gym. Several times a woman has brought 3 lads (aged 8 - 10) into the women's changing room for them to get changed. AIBU for this to really annoy me?

The boys have just finished karate - surely they are old enough to get changed by themselves in the men's? She doesn't physically change their clothes for them - just sits there whilst they get changed (and also climb over the lockers and generally wander around the room)

FYI - The changing rooms are small with no cubicles. I can't get there earlier (I work) or later (I'll miss my training) to get changed.

She isn't the only women to do this - another brings in her 2 younger boys (about 5 I guess) just for them to put their shoes on!

Am thinking of complaining to the reception - would you?

OP posts:
junglist1 · 23/09/2009 18:24

My 10 year old has just started using mens changing on his own. My 6 year old comes in with me. he was horrified when a male friend took him to a changing room with big hairy strangers walking around stark bollock naked, and I don't blame him. I make sure the older one goes in a cubicle aswell

alfiesmadmother · 23/09/2009 18:28

Absolutely under no circumstances would I let my 7 year old get changed alone in the male changing room. Twice I have had money/wallet/items of clothing stolen so I just can't trust people. I also think he would be scared and intimidated.

alfiesmadmother · 23/09/2009 18:30

btw I would let him go to the toilet but getting changed, putting money in the locker alone is different, especially when there are groups of older bys

DoNotPressTheRedButton · 23/09/2009 18:34

Mme if you read my posts you will find PAedophiles arebottom of my list of worries- you have to let a child be uout of your sght occasionally for that to be a concern!

MmeLindt · 23/09/2009 18:40

Don'tPressTheRedButton
I was referring to your most recent post, I did not see the earlier one.

alfiesmadmother · 23/09/2009 18:43

Aside from the paedophile issue, I personally am not comfortable with my 7 year old being naked in a roomful of naked men. Call me a prude!

In the ladies at least I can advise him not to stare if he did, but we all go in seperate cubicles anyway, obviously if children are misbehaving perhaps you could mention that?

seeker · 23/09/2009 18:47

You're a prude!

MPearl · 23/09/2009 18:54

the rule is 5yrs old at my gym, which I dont agree with. But we have a couple of private cubicles in the ladies changing room, which I will send my ds to get changed in...

alfiesmadmother · 23/09/2009 18:56

I am a probably a prude lol! But it just doesn't seem right. 5 years is definitely too young. I guess it depends on the gym and what sort of area...

bloss · 23/09/2009 18:57

Message withdrawn

Jujubean77 · 23/09/2009 18:58

8 yo is old enough to get changed alone with Mum waiting outside. I am [shocked] that some think it's ok to bring a child this age in to the Women's change. How totally inappropriate.

junglist1 · 23/09/2009 19:00

Oh my God Bloss. That's scary.
5 is too young and I wouldn't use a centre that expected me to dump a 5 year old with a load of naked strangers. That's foul

jellybeans · 23/09/2009 19:18

I wonder if most of the people complaining about boys in the change rooms are mums of just girls? I wonder if any of them still go in the change rooms with their 8 year olds or wait outside (if just the child is swimming). I just had girls at first and probably would have thought simelar 'ah those pesky boys in our change room' but when you have your own boy you feel differently and are faced with these dilemas!!

btw I am sure some people with boys also feel this way but it is always mums of just girls that I personally hear making comments!

piscesmoon · 23/09/2009 19:22

I am very surprised that an 8 yr old would want to come into the ladies with mum-mine would have refused! It certainly isn't appropriate for a 10 yr old boy.

Morloth · 23/09/2009 19:25

alfiesmadmother "Aside from the paedophile issue, I personally am not comfortable with my 7 year old being naked in a roomful of naked men. Call me a prude!"

Why? How bizarre.

KEAWYED · 23/09/2009 19:31

At our gym it says from the age of 6 boys have to go in the male changing rooms. My DS1 has just turned 6 and I wouldnt let him.

He's to young and he wouldnt be able to regulate the temperature on the showers or reach the lockers!!

Theres a family changing room which I use instead.

piscesmoon · 23/09/2009 19:32

I would just have a quiet word with reception-you can't be the only person who isn't happy.

bergentulip · 23/09/2009 19:51

Why is 8 too old to see women naked? Surely nakedness in general should be normalised and not something that needs hiding away?

I have neighbours, one has an 8yr old boy, the other a 10yr old. No issue with the 8yr old, or thinking of others that age,... but the 10yr old, sure, YANBU on that. There is quite a jump from 8 - 10 and that does strike me as too old and he should be able to go to the mens' on his own.

seeker · 23/09/2009 20:10

I have an 8 year olf boy, jellybeans!

bergentulip -so you would have no problem with an 8 year old girl getting changed in the male changing room?

deaddei · 23/09/2009 20:11

I would really be pissed off if that happened at our small gym, Apart from anything else, I like to get changed in relative peace without kids shouting or being silly- I wish children weren't allowed- they can only go certain afternoons, but the place can't really accommodate them. Go to David lloyd with facilities!!!

alfiesmadmother · 23/09/2009 20:23

alfiesmadmother "Aside from the paedophile issue, I personally am not comfortable with my 7 year old being naked in a roomful of naked men. Call me a prude!"

Why? How bizarre.

Is it really that bizarre? There is no need really if he can come with me. I just don't think he is ready for that- alone. With his dad yes of course. Wanting to preserve thier innocence, is that bizarre? Maybe because the leisure centre where theyy swim is in a rough area and like I said we have had thefts (from women) it makes me more cautious. And lots of kids do come and are unsupervised and have not been taught how to behave / I have just spoken to DH about this and he felt even more strongly than me. He said he has witnessed older boys bullying younger ones, making sexual comments to one another. Not unreasonable to be cautious.

My son is in Y2. I would not expect him to be unsupervised on a school trip or in the care of someone else so why would I send him into a changing room alone?

SoupDragon · 23/09/2009 20:26

but you are happy with him being naked in a roomful of naked women?

Morloth · 23/09/2009 20:27

No it was the implication that a naked child around naked men in an appropriate setting is in someway wrong.

Your other arguments I can see, but that isn't what you said previously.

deaddei · 23/09/2009 20:30

i think it's worrying that we see perverts in every day to day activity and we are passing on insecurities to children.
I wonder how many posters who are horrified about sending their children into a different changing room supervise what they're doing on the internet? More chance of being groomed on there.

islandofsodor · 23/09/2009 20:33

YANBU for a 10 year old but YABU for an 8 year old.

I woulsn;t let my 8 year old dd get changed in a changing room without a responsible adult with her. She is too dippy.