to want 8 year boys to get changed in the MALE changing room?

[ParisFrog]

I got to a small gym. Several times a woman has brought 3 lads (aged 8 - 10) into the women's changing room for them to get changed. AIBU for this to really annoy me?

The boys have just finished karate - surely they are old enough to get changed by themselves in the men's? She doesn't physically change their clothes for them - just sits there whilst they get changed (and also climb over the lockers and generally wander around the room)

FYI - The changing rooms are small with no cubicles. I can't get there earlier (I work) or later (I'll miss my training) to get changed.

She isn't the only women to do this - another brings in her 2 younger boys (about 5 I guess) just for them to put their shoes on!

Am thinking of complaining to the reception - would you?

I believe it was me who was pig ignorant BoF.
(for talking about metaphorical socks )

Franca, true enough, but then we're allowed to take photos of children in schools and everything here, no? Paedosteria doesn't seem to have taken hold quite yet.

a bit torn on this

on the one hand, it was very awkward all those years before I had the piece of paper explaining why my dcs can't do lots of things that normal children their age can

and even after, it's kind of difficult to stick a placard on ds to the effect that Yes I had noticed that he is 9 years old and I am aware that most 9-year olds can do their own shoes up

it is very tiring when people stare and mutter

on the other hand, I am always keen for any way to encourage independence so would want my 8yo to have as much of it as possible

and I do not believe that you can live life with a constant eye on danger: some risks can and should be taken

then again, I'm Swedish so much less likely to fuss about who sees me when I'm changing anyway- you can always wrap a towel round your loins

not sure I have an opinion on this at all

Oh that's pathetic, Cory! Where's your righteous indignation gone? Tsk

As for normal children still needing help at 8 - I believe firmly that a child can only develop as fast as they're allowed to. If they're never given the chance, it's no surprise they "can't" be on their own at 8.

'If your child (SN or not) does a sport that does not necessarily require getting changed afterwards (i.e. not swimming because you're wet but for example karate where you're bone dry at the end) and someone complained that you were bringing them into the female changing room, what would you do?

Would you respect the wishes of this woman (or girl, because a LOT of young girls use the changing rooms at my gym, especially after dance class)? Or would you carry on because you put the safety of your DS first?

A lot of people have said that gyms have a policy of 7 or 8+...would you ignore this policy'

If I had paid?

On a nad day slink away and cry

on a good day shriek their arses off and report them breaching accessibility rules with regards to disbled persons

Have mroe good than bad atm

Can someone explain "brown shirt" please?

So, our female children are just going to have to put up with gawping males from an early age then?

Do you actually have an 8 year old boy? [hmmm]

Brown Shirts

A bit OTT I guess

I am not too keen on teaching maths one day to have the 8yr old boy telling everyone that 'MrsPisces has pink knickers and wobbly thighs'!
I don't mind changing with small children but not by the time they are old enough to go into the mens changing room.

Any 8 yr old with special needs can cope on their own if they are allowed to. I have taken a whole class that age and we shared a bus with another school. They were in the lesson-the bus collected from another school, the DCs went in the pool as ours went out and ours had to be changed in double quick time because the bus had to be back when the other school got out. There was no leeway and timing was tight. Every single DC did it-it meant a lot of knocking on doors with 5 min, 2 min, one minute warnings and some were still a bit damp but they were all on the bus, every week, on time.The same children, boys, were last every week and I expect that with their mothers they would have taken 4 times as long and she would have been finding their clothes, turning them the right way out and putting their socks on.

I don't believe that it is anything to do with physically getting changed-it is the fact that every male stranger is a danger. I think it highly unlikely that you would have one DS alone with one man. I also think that you could discuss with your DS what to do if they feel in an uncomfortable situation.

You can possibly get away with it with a 8 or 9 year old, but sooner or later you are going to have to let them get changed without you guarding them.

Sorry-any 8 yr old without special needs!

Message withdrawn

seeker, the only reason I would have a problem is because of others' attitudes towards it.

I would not immediately assume that it was an issue. I suppose, and here is where I contradict myself, I would worry that the men in that changing room were uncomfortable with it and worried about perception etc... all brought on by society scaremongering any male into having an automatic guilt complex when approaching a young child not their own.

Weirdly, in Germany, or anywhere else on the ccontinent, I would not think about it twice, and have no issue at ALL. Now what does that say about Britain and the general views held by us here?

I am not talking about getting changed with a class-it wouldn't happen. I am talking about being on my own at the private gym mentioned, when the mother came in with her 3 boys who should have been in the men's changing room.
I don't think that the men would be too pleased at having a DD getting changed. If my DSs are in the men's changing room they don't expect to suddenly find an 8 yr old girl there.

Just as well that people aren't getting changed at swimming pools in Iceland-that took some getting used to for British school children!

Message withdrawn

I think that most places have unisex changing these days-much better.
I can appreciate the problem, as the mother of 3 DSs, but you have to prepare yourself for the fact that you eventually get to the day where you have to go to the ladies and he has to go to the mens.
I shouldn't have put in the bit about pink knickers-I would just avoid a venue and a time that it was likely to happen. I just put it in to show that you can't assume that every woman or girl is happy to share the changing room with a boy over 8yrs.

Are they accompanied also wiv a amn, if not think of it a different way, if you were were male and had an 8 year old daughter would you send her of on her own into a changing room at a gym full of adults there are alot of weirdo's being male or female, and you dont know if the boys have learning disabilities and would talk to strangers, evre1's circumstances are different and only the mother knows whats best for her children and whether they will cope in a male changing room on there own!

amn means man soz

greeny (sorry to wander off people)

thought about something you were saying about bits of paper and dx

(yep you know me- sorry- 4 boys,somerset links etc).

It'seasy to feelt hat without a bit of apper your child doesn't have SN but that's bollocks, albeit bollocks I am particualrly susceptible to. As someone who ahs a lot of asd type stuff myself, I find that bit of black and white apper is the rule that enables me to say 'X has asd'or whatever- and I know other people without ASD traits feelt hat too. But they either have them or dont, or indeed a great many children sit on a borderline with SN anyway. Ds2- no dx, did a snap test at schoolt his week and scoring ++ even when Is ent it abck not all done (school doing some bits)- no idea if we are looking at an ADD type or dyspraxia yet, but the need is there regardless of anything further being known. We don't need disbaled toilets for him, DLA or statements (on schoolaction and probably SA+ soon) but in those areas he has needs he is entitled to have adjustments amde for him- that may be a separate changing facility (organisational skills non existent,wuld come out an hour later having showere3d in pants with no tie or shoes on and probably somehow lost for ever) or different learning style but that can start now not when we have a dx.

Sorry- it was just your comment struck a huge chord with me.

I respect how you feel, but I don't think there is anything wrong with her bringing her son with her. My mom was very protective of me, and when I went to the pool with my big brother I always went through the male locker room with him until I was 9. When he walked me through the shower area, which was the only entrance to the pool area, any males who were there generally understood or if they felt uncomfortable they would generally turn toward the wall.

Esther You've bumped 3 threads about changing rooms...why?

Is that the only reason you made your account? Or am I missing something?

Esther why are you trailing for old threads about boys in female changing rooms and bumping them? I realise this has just bumped this ancient thread again but Im sooo curious as to why I couldnt help it?