to think it's high time somebody started an "I'm an imperfect mother" thread on here? Jeeez the number of perfectly perfect mums on here atm is quite scary

[emkana]

Okay I'll start

I'm not a perfect mother because

I lose my temper
I let them watch x factor and the cube on a Saturday night, and don't even read them a bedtime story after
I've taken them out of school for holidays

Thing is, however good you think you are, whatever you deny yourself, all the time and trouble you spend, your kids might well have different ideas when they're grown up.

My mum was always at home, cooked all our meals, took us to Local Places Of Interest, we always went on holidays, even tho they were skint, she never ever went out (never saw her with a drink in her hand) never left us with a babysitter ,was always interested in my schoolwork, encouraged (ahem) me to do extra curricular stuff, told me I was beautiful, clever and fantastic...and now I'm an adult I think she was controlling, passive aggressive, far too serious, thought her kids Belonged to her and not to themselves, or the big wide world...

You will never, ever be a Good Mother, whatever you do-so you might as well crack open a pack of Lambert and Butler, bottle of gin, switch on "How Clean Is Your House" and let the little bastards get their own tea

ChoCho - I do think that the words you say have a bearing on how that person reacts, it is not necessarily just the tone used.

Say if your DP said the following, both calmly and in measured tones.

'will you hurry up I'm late you fucking stupid idiot'

'will you hurry up I'm late for crying out loud'

Of course you would be (or I would be) pissed off if you were sworn at. Swear words if directed at someone are (by their very nature) insulting and meant to offend.

These are kids ffs. There may be myriad ways to dress up swearing at children to make it seem acceptable but essentially it is not.

"Am I the only one with a short fuse, little patience and willing to hold my hands up and say caring for toddlers is bloody fustrating, tedious, irritating and that I often struggle with my temper?"

Goodness no, Jude. As I've said earlier on the thread it is the hardest job I've ever done, it does get easier though.

BUT it was like a competitive slummy mummy contest at one point on this thread and a lot of the posts crossed the line between what is normal frustration and what is frankly worrying behaviour.

I am in agreement with Madnotbad, it is going round in circles.
She says, contributing to thread.....

You're right, Lizzylou, it is going round in circles

...but it's a lot more fun than painting my fucking dining room

Rofl @ Precious
Or working tbh.

So as long as you're not Rose West, it's ok to make fairly appalling parenting errors and excuse them with ' I'm only human'?

And being too hungover to take your children to school is appalling patenting, although I doubt you will accept that so I shall bow out now.

It is an appalling thing (being too hungover to drive to school) but it's not as bad as driving still pissed.
As a one off it doesn't condem you as a BAD mother.
I'm bowing out too as clearly saying FFS to my toddler is hideous and I should be making it up to her right now (if I can and the damage hasn't already been done) instead of wasting my time arguing the toss with The Stepford Mothers here.
Over and out.

Excellent, still going.
Have done the weeding and thought I'd check.

As you were.

They can all go polish their halos now

If you think not screaming fuck at your children and getting your arse out of bed to take them to school deserves a halo then your standards are too low.

Sorry, am being a Last Word Lil Definetely leaving now.

Not the first time I've been accused of that on MN this week ..sure it won't be the last [Smile]

bollocks. Wait days for a row and as soon as I grab 15 minutes to sit down here with me cheese and pickle, find everyone's huffed off

The argument is going nowhere. Losing your temper and swearing at a toddler isn't great but neither is it horribly cruel, unusual or I imagine particularly rare.
No one is saying they are boasting or that it's cool, groovy or clever.
Shit happens though and people comparing a very rare moment of losing your temper and swearing at your child to years of mental and physical abuse are talking out of their arses.
But they probably know that and are on a wind up.

And that's me done. Again!!!!!

well i am considerably more perfect than YAOU as I have never ever sworn at my kids in 11 long years of parenting

HTH

at preciouslillywhite.

Actually I don't think anyone was protesting at a rare moment of lost control.
It was the suggestion that such behaviour is routine and simply not 'perfect' rather than a matter of regret.

But I am only helping preciouslillywhite out and have to go back cookies now before weaving something for DD to wear to her yoga class.

I do everything wrong with my daughter, I'm sure. If I have a deadline looming, she gets too much TV and too many biscuits.

I am also a terrible step-parent. I don't mind doing 'crafts'with my SD, but I will do anything to get out of playing some crap game with her or helping her dress up or any of that. I just can't tolerate it. To be fair, I wasn't very interested in that stuff when I was her age either.

I feel terrible. But it's good to know I'm not alone in being crap.

pagwatch

ta very much- however it was I'm afraid too little too late and the cheese and pickle sandwich is now but a distant memory...has been a school run in between and now am off to heat up some potato waffles and spaghetti hoops

I've just skimmed this thread.. I did actually think what a great idea at first but then to see how it's been used by some to justify inexcusable behaviour towards their children digusts me.... maybe I'm coming off a bit strong, but I live in a 'not so great' area and witness almost daily parents 'losing their temper' and swearing at their children. It turns my stomach, and actually brought me to tears the other day witnessing a 'mother' bellow in her toddlers face 'stop being so fucking ungrateful, you've just have some fucking lunch'. I agree with previous threads about some parents boasting about how crap they are, not just on here but in RL too. I for one am by no means a perfect parent but I draw the line at swearing AT my children, I think it's disgraceful.

can I point out, while i might shout at my lad, ( ie for goddess sake. come on etc.) i've NEVER sworn at him.

ROFL

I am apparently a perfectly perfect mum for never having called my DCs "a little shit" or a "fucking bitch". I don't actually remember ever having shouted at them either - will check with them that know and report back.

Also perfectly perfect for making sure they get to school on time. Another halo.

Do I get a triple halo for feeding them daily?

What about bathing them? Boy are those halos piling up and in danger of suffocating me?

Look at all my shiney halos!

I ignored DD1's whining about a hurty chest. Finally took her to the doc who whisked her off to the hospital. She had double pneumonia.

I've just called dp a cocksucker...do I get any points for that?

[hopeful]