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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a pub on a friday night isnt the right place for a 2 year old.

179 replies

geordieminx · 11/09/2009 19:47

Not sure about this.

Mum goes to a nice country pub most friday nights - not a child-orientated pub, quiet local type pub.

Their friends have a wee girl who is nearly 2, every week they bring her to the pub and allow her to climb over people, give them all kisses on the lips and generally make a nusiance of herself. Totally not her fault, nothing for her to do, tired, no other kids, my ds who is 2 would be exactly the which is why I wouldnt do it.

Now, I know that a 1 off isnt too bad or whatever but both sets of grandparents live close so its not like they dont have babysitters - its making for an awkward atmosphere at the pub - people who go on a Friday night to relax after a week at work having a toddler climbing about, wanting attention. Parents just laugh it off.

MN jury - acceptable or not?

OP posts:
hippomother · 14/09/2009 11:28

It's a strange thing to suggest. It might work if you were agoraphobic but then the child would live a boring life.

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 11:30

I give up with this thread. If a special occasion/one off/going for a meal then ok. Just saying that I, would prefer my kids at home, getting settled for bed. But then we have just started a new routine so I'm bound to think that

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 11:32

I just dont agree with people taking the kids into pubs and let them be unruley, and annoying (op, not directed at anyone in particular) while the adults get merry.

Cheepz · 14/09/2009 11:33

agree - we often are out past 630 and ds is with us - his bedtime is 730 - 8, but if we are at friends for a bbq or evening he will happily stay until 10 then he falls asleep in the car on the way home and sleeps a little later in the morning

if he was home by 630 every night then we would have to be to and on the weekends thats pretty limiting

WidowWadman · 14/09/2009 11:34

I personally am very happy for my child to go to bed between half 8 and nine, as that way she still gets plenty of time to spend with her father who isn't home before six, and I'll be working again full time in a couple of weeks and would find it sad to see my child go to sleep as soon as I picked her up from the nursery.

These precious hours after work are spent with her outside, weather permitting. In the park, having a picknick for dinner, and sometimes we take her into a beergarden, too. (Or to the pub as described in my previous post

I don't want this to be special occasions and being scooped up in the house to be the norm. I really don't get why it should be only for special occasions.

beanieb · 14/09/2009 11:37

to the OP. If the Mumsnet Jury said ir was terribel what would you do? Report them? Say something? Just get your mum to give them the evils?

stealthsquiggle · 14/09/2009 11:37

If you happen to have DC who need a routine (and I know plenty who do) then I can see Knickers' point. As it happens, my DC don't really get whiny/overtired - they just go to sleep, wherever they may be - so we have frequently carried one or both out of the pub fast asleep at about 9:30pm on a Friday night, which probably sounds appalling to some people here, but they have not been bugging anyone other than us whilst there, the landlord and landlady are more than fine with them being there, and either DH or I is always sober as we will be driving home.

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 11:40

Oh, we have been to plenty of bbqs where we haven't gotten home till god knows what time

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 11:41

Nope, doesnt sound appaling stealth, because they wernt bugging other people

thesecondcoming · 14/09/2009 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cheepz · 14/09/2009 14:14

thesecondcoming killjoy

BethNoire · 14/09/2009 14:17

Well that is where I have a sense of balance thsecndcoming

I can't use babysitters (just can't,for reasons) so if I want a break they come, wherever. Wacky warehouse is failry prohibitred to us also, and on a very rare occasion we may go to a pub, before late edvening (ie we'd be gone by 8.30 -9) and in no way would they be allowed to bug people in any way- from an early age (2?) ds1 quite liked audlt conversation.

For the reaons of other peoples enjoyment, I keep them behaved andadher to sensible timnings etc (and for reasons of sense also).... seems many another customer woulod say they cannot make any adjustment to their desire at all however, such as tolerating a child even in the building. Funny, becuase there are an awful lot of no children pubs they could go to a damned site nicer than wacky warehouse!

thesecondcoming · 14/09/2009 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cheepz · 14/09/2009 14:56

the fact is some pubs on a friday night are family spaces per licensing agreements and others are adults spaces - ie when they specify no kids - which plenty do after 530. don't see the problem. its really very simple.

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 15:00

thesecondcoming - UK licensing law does not prohibit children from approaching the bar to buy soft drinks. Some landlords have a rule of no children at the bar and this can be part of the local authority's specification for protecting children in licensed premises but this is nothing to do with actual licensing law as buying and selling soft drinks and food are not licensable activities.

No-one ever said pubs were 'children's spaces', just that pubs with family licenses are not adult/adult only spaces. See the difference?

Some pubs can allow children (under 16s) to be on the premises until midnight if the children are not deemed to be 'at risk'. This makes them spaces for anyone who wants to be there. However you look at it they are not 'adult only spaces', you might want them to be because you can only have a good time when you have 'got rid of' your kids but that doesn't change the reality - it is up to a landlord/local authority to decide. Some pubs only want adults and some want families, just the mere fact that it is a pub doesn't mean no children will be there or that the adults take precedence if they are.

And btw, to someone with no sense of humour like me, there is plenty to take offence at in what you say - your selfish, exlcusive attitude, your foul language and the offensive way you speak about your own children.

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 15:08

Oh and I haven't seen many soft-playcentres or wacky warehouses that allow children to visit sans adult either, does that mean they are also adult/adult only spaces?

thesecondcoming · 14/09/2009 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuppyMonkey · 14/09/2009 15:25

In answer to OP, depends on the pub, depends on the two year old, depends on what the locals are like. Just because you might bring your two year old out on a Friday might, it doesn't make you a "lazy fucker" imho.

elmofan · 14/09/2009 15:37

hi , i have recently been in a similar situation , we took our dc's out for lunch in our local , it was 3.30pm so early , while we were there two toddlers kept coming over to our table trying to sit with us & kept trying to pick chips off ds plate , their parents didn't care less that we were eating they sat there & ignored what their kids got up to, the little boy was picking his nose alot , we lost our appetite .
its ok to take children to pubs in the day time as long as you make sure they are not let run around annoying other people imo .

pooexplosions · 14/09/2009 15:37

"the bit about approaching the bar is that children aren't able to served anything at the bar-full stop. Hence,for the 18millionth time,pubs are on the whole adult places."

You are very prickly you know, I was only asking! Thats not the case here, my 5 year old was getting his own juice at the bar yesterday and chatting to the barman.

I'm probably out of touch with UK pubs, they do sound less child friendly. Here its easy, local friendly pub you expect to see children (you expect them to be well behaved though, or you will be asked to leave), until 9pm in the lounge. If you don't want to be around kids, no problem, you just avoid the lounge and sit in the bar with the auld fellas. Or go to a different pub, theres always at least one nearby that will have an unwritten no kids rule.

curiositykilled · 14/09/2009 15:43

When did I say I pity your children?

I wasn't aware I did, or that I was attacking your parenting choices (of which I have absolutely 0 knowledge to be able to criticise). Or that I said my children go to the pub. I haven't really made a comment about how I personally feel about taking my own children to the pub. It's not really an issue that is relevant.

Incidentally, my arguments about this question are largely separate from my own behaviour with my own children - It is actually completely irrelevant what you or I or anybody does or thinks, the fact is, pubs by definition are not adult/adult only spaces.

That has been my point all along.

I believe people objected to your point because it was entirely your own opinion and desires that you were projecting without actually looking at the facts of the situation. You might think or want things to be a certain way but it does not actually mean that they are and that you have a right to assert what is really just your own opinion onto somebody else.

thesecondcoming · 14/09/2009 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cheepz · 14/09/2009 16:41

gosh - looks like thesecondcoming has stormed off in a huff. I am hoping there are no children in any adult only spaces she chooses to cool off in.

[cheepz ducks with other dullards and puts on tin helmet]

twirlymum · 14/09/2009 17:03

In the summer, when it doesn't get dark until 9pm we would all go out as a family to a family pub. I don't believe in rigid routines, as I have seen children that are suddenly unable to cope with change of any kind.
Life is about making the most of the time you have, not watching the clock and having to be home by a certain time, so little Johnny can have a bath dead on 6pm and be in bed by7pm.
Childhood is short and precious, and should be made the most of. If they are in the garden, woods, park, pub garden, at friends etc, and they are having fun, not being a nuisance and we are happy, then let them enjoy themselves.
IMHO

dailymailrus · 14/09/2009 17:13

I thought that was quite an impressive hissy fit.Perhaps she could have done with more discipline as a child...

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