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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that a pub on a friday night isnt the right place for a 2 year old.

179 replies

geordieminx · 11/09/2009 19:47

Not sure about this.

Mum goes to a nice country pub most friday nights - not a child-orientated pub, quiet local type pub.

Their friends have a wee girl who is nearly 2, every week they bring her to the pub and allow her to climb over people, give them all kisses on the lips and generally make a nusiance of herself. Totally not her fault, nothing for her to do, tired, no other kids, my ds who is 2 would be exactly the which is why I wouldnt do it.

Now, I know that a 1 off isnt too bad or whatever but both sets of grandparents live close so its not like they dont have babysitters - its making for an awkward atmosphere at the pub - people who go on a Friday night to relax after a week at work having a toddler climbing about, wanting attention. Parents just laugh it off.

MN jury - acceptable or not?

OP posts:
thesecondcoming · 12/09/2009 08:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imalwaysatthehospital · 12/09/2009 08:42

Oh I take my toddler out clubbing with me.

ApplesinmyPocket · 12/09/2009 08:56

What do they do in other countries? I get the feeling that in Spain, Portugal, France etc there is no sense that small children are a different animal entirely and must not be allowed to invade precious proper-people space after a certain time.

Children are a nuisance when we're hoping to relax and they can be irritating - bless 'em. But they're the small fry of our species and must be kindheartedly tolerated, and educated at the same time to become less irritating - definitely no climbing on people, for example.

thesecondcoming · 12/09/2009 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imalwaysatthehospital · 12/09/2009 09:15

I wouldn't have a problem taking my child.

However, I would probably get a babysitter sometimes, as parents need nights off too!

I think the parents of the child mentioned in the OP should perhaps bring along some things for the little one, books, toys etc. Sounds like they dont realise that the little one is being a bit of a (sweet) pest to other people.

I have no problem with children being in a pub, if it's a family pub. Loud banging music pub, well, that's different.

Country pub - whats the problem? As long as they aren't running screaming around or making a pain of themselves, why not?

Welcome to Britain - Children NOT Welcome with adults, but expected to learn how to behave like one and interact with adults, with minimal contact, noise and interference.

curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 10:03

thesecondcoming - YES! That is exactly what I am saying - The child does have as much right to be there as anybody else. Why doesn't she? In a pub that has chosen a family licence?

The behaviour issue is completely separate. Clearly if the child's behaviour is annoying and out of control people should complain and the parents should bring colouring or toys or something but they are entitled to be there.

I think more fool you if you only ever take your children to 'childrens' places. The logic of your attitude defeats me, how can a child learn to respect an adult's needs and behave appropriately in different social situations if they are not allowed to be involved?

It's exactly the same with food. We almost never order from the 'childrens' menu, my children would much rather eat proper food than homogenous chicken dippers or pizza. How can a child learn to enjoy a variety of new foods if they are only ever allowed to eat rubbish?

I think this attitude of adults 'needing' a child free release at the weekend so they can drink beer and swear is what has built our binge drinking culture. If children were allowed more places then adults would not behave so irresponsibly with alcohol, that is why there is less binge drinking on the continent. They don't have this culture of 'lock the kids away so we can have a good time'

I HATE this whole attitude. I recently visited my favourite (high-end) restaurant with my children (2 and 4) for my birthday, we booked the table for 6.30pm. The owners and staff welcomed us because we visit often with the children but as we arrived two women were smoking outside giving us dirty looks and saying rather loudly 'imagine bringing children to a place like this'.

These women, it turns out, were there for a hen do they got very drunk and were shouting, swearing, singing and standing on the table by 7.30pm. I complained, as did several others and they were politely asked to calm down or leave which they did - calmed down and left soon after. We enjoyed our meal, the children were well behaved and we went home to bed.

I feel the general attitude to this situation would've been 'well they were badly behaved but you should expect that if you bring children to an adult space'. Children are allowed in restaurants until 11pm, this means it is NOT an adults only space. The hen do was badly behaved, people complained and the behaviour was sorted out.

No-one complained about my children because they were well behaved. My attitude to the situation is that children are allowed in restaurants, they are a family space and my children are as entitled to be there as anyone else. In a high-end restaurant everybody will be expected to behave well, that includes children and adults. My children know this and behave accordingly and tbh since they sit in church every sunday morning for an hour they're pretty used to controlling themselves.

BethNoire · 12/09/2009 10:23

I'm with CK.

We don't take the boys to the pub as it happens, very rarely have except for a specific arranged meal; doesn't mean I shouldn't though.

ROFL that everyone can get a babysitter- sometimes it just isn't possible, e haven't had a night out with a chilod in tow for almost three years, we're hoping for one n November if we are very, very lucky.

BethNoire · 12/09/2009 10:27
curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 10:48

Bethnoire - I think people are randomly judgy tbh, that is one area not specifically reserved for children.

NoahAmin · 12/09/2009 10:50

i woudlnt want osmoene leses kid in a pub when i have paid for mine not to be there
tiny baby diffo

NoahAmin · 12/09/2009 10:51

lol at " the we dont let our kids eat KIDS food"

posse coming out

kids have fucking PLKAYCENTRES piss off to them fsg

we dont want kids in pubs
I will blow smoke in their faces.

NoahAmin · 12/09/2009 10:52

but tbh an annoying over indluged twatty kid is annoying in any venue

curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 10:56

noah - so you would go to a pub with a family licence before children were supposed to leave and expect no children to be there or for them to be asked to leave in order to preference you?

Wouldn't it be better, if you felt that way, to just wait until 9pm or go to a pub with an adults only licence?

NoahAmin · 12/09/2009 10:58

...

er no

curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 10:59

noah - they can eat the 'kids' food if they choose but most often they don't want it. An over indulged 'twatty' adult is annoying in any venue too. I have met plenty of them.

curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 11:00

lol @ noah!

hercules1 · 12/09/2009 11:01

If I am out without my own children I can't bear other peoples children near me (apart from at work!).

curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 11:02

Met plenty of both. I complain about both kinds in equal measure because I am a complainer

bumpsoon · 12/09/2009 11:14

If the parents are expecting everyone else in the pub to look after child then YANBU.
children in pubs in general are not a bad thing imo ,aslong as they are well supervised ,after all its the best way of teaching them how to behave in 'adult' environments

SolidGoldBrass · 12/09/2009 11:20

The trouble with the mindset that insists children should be allowed everywhere is it's a breeder mindset which assumes that everyone has, has had, or will have children.
Not everyone likes children. Not everywhere is suitable for children (you don't, for instance, want a paramedic to have her DC in the ambulance pressing all the buttons because she had no childcare that day, nor is a fetish club a good place for a toddler, however interesting all those things might be to climb on.)
Now I have no problem with DC in some pubs, but think it's up to the pub management to decide whether or not they want a family licence - some pubs will not admit DC at all and that's their choice. But while I am happy for non-annoying DC to be in some, or even most, pubs, I don't like the idea that DC should be able to get everywhere as it is often put about by people who basically have no adult interests and are, themselves, like tiresome toddlers.

curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 11:29

solidgold - you are looking at it the opposite way from me. I don't like children being banned from places. Not everyone likes women, men black people, couples, single people, white people, muslims, christians e.t.c

I can't see how it is any different from banning men, women, black people e.t.c. from places. I dislike it all. It is all based on the assumption that someone is unsuitable no matter who they are and it detracts from people's tolerance and ability to interact with others that are different and manage different social situations themselves.

This is not the same issue however. Some people are saying that the child shouldn't be there even during a time when children are not banned. I can't see why? Whatever you think about whether children should or shouldn't be in pubs, the child is allowed in this pub and the OP, if they choose to, should complain about the behaviour but can't expect the pub to have no children in.

curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 11:31

If the child behaves badly solid gold, you are right - it is up to the landlord to police.

posieparker · 12/09/2009 11:33

Children out to eat brilliant, good for our culture and theirs...children in a pub which has a purpose of people drinking is pretty awful.

dailymailrus · 12/09/2009 11:35

Does the OP use the pub regularly?
I would have thought with the ammount of pubs closing,particularly country pubs, the landlord would be glad of their custom.

curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 11:38

no dailymail - I think it is her mum and I get the impression the child is her friend's child. So difficult one for the OP's mum.