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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a pub on a friday night isnt the right place for a 2 year old.

179 replies

geordieminx · 11/09/2009 19:47

Not sure about this.

Mum goes to a nice country pub most friday nights - not a child-orientated pub, quiet local type pub.

Their friends have a wee girl who is nearly 2, every week they bring her to the pub and allow her to climb over people, give them all kisses on the lips and generally make a nusiance of herself. Totally not her fault, nothing for her to do, tired, no other kids, my ds who is 2 would be exactly the which is why I wouldnt do it.

Now, I know that a 1 off isnt too bad or whatever but both sets of grandparents live close so its not like they dont have babysitters - its making for an awkward atmosphere at the pub - people who go on a Friday night to relax after a week at work having a toddler climbing about, wanting attention. Parents just laugh it off.

MN jury - acceptable or not?

OP posts:
cjones2979 · 12/09/2009 12:08

My DH used to work in a pub many moons ago, so we both spent quite a lot of time there.

One young mother used to bring her 3 year old with her & sit there practically all day (many times til closing time), letting the 3 yo drink coke from a baby's bottle, and living on the odd packet of crisps!!

The mother was quite happy to let her daughter annoy the hell out of impose herself on other people and would quite regularly say "Oh, she wants you to take her the toilet", I mean, FFS !!!

And this was all before the smoking ban came into effect, so that poor child was stuck in a pub all day (hardly ever any other kids in there, not really that sort of pub), eating crisps for dinner, drinking coca cola & having smoke blown in her face, all the time making herself a nuisance to other people through no fault of her own.

We now have 2 DS's, and occasionally will go to a pub for a meal, but I would never leave later than 7pm, and would not let them bother others. I would also not take them to small local pubs, only to larger "family friendly" pubs.

steviesotherhalf · 12/09/2009 12:27

If you're eating out as a family in a pub then it's absolutely fine. But if you're planning just to drink then a beer garden and preferably one with a playground is far better than sitting in a stuffy pub inside. Children, especially toddlers get bored to death. The inside of pubs for just drinking is an adult environment.

cjones2979 · 12/09/2009 12:29

Totally agree steviesotherhalf

hatwoman · 12/09/2009 12:36

if pubs are "adult spaces" what's the climbing frame for in the pub garden I was in last night? [hat has weird but quite entertaining vision of grown ups running round the garden, clambering up the frame and wizzing down the slide...]

cjones2979 · 12/09/2009 12:57

I don't think anyone is saying that pubs should be adult only places, just that there is a time and place for kids, which shouldn't be in the evening on a friday night. Not unless it is a lovely evening where kids can play in the pub garden so that they have something to keep them occupied to stop them irritating others !!

EvilEdnasTwinSister · 12/09/2009 13:01

Lol hatwoman you should have been at my local a couple of weeks ago, you could have seen your vision played out haha.

IMO it is not the childs presence that causes a problem, but the fact that certain parents see it as an opportunity to let their kids run riot while they ignore them. That does annoy me, chances are if I wanted to spend time supervising kids I would have stopped at home with my own.

steviesotherhalf · 12/09/2009 13:01

Again - evenings is fine, as long as it's to eat and out of the space of bar-dwellers.

curiositykilled · 12/09/2009 13:08

Surely it is up to the licensee to set the rules though? Clearly this pub allows this child to be in this part of the pub at this time. Someone might think it is not appropriate for a child to be in the bar area at 6.30 on a Friday night but if the pub allow it then it's tough on them, they have to tolerate it or go somewhere else. The behaviour is different though. If anyone is being annoying people should complain.

steviesotherhalf · 12/09/2009 13:12

When I was a dc my father always dragged me into pubs so he could drink. Luckily many pubs wouldn't allow us in with me. My dad used to get arsey but now I see why we weren't allowed; and tbh it was a few less pubs I got dragged into just to see my dad's personality gradually change through the demon drink. My father was like a man possessed when he had a drink and he could be scary.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 12/09/2009 13:23

Agree with Stevie's.
However 8.30 is not too late if the child is well behaved and happy. The kids in bed by 7 ethos is a bit harsh IMO.

steviesotherhalf · 12/09/2009 13:27

My dd's bedtime is 8pm every night, so that other poster with the 7pm thing is talking nonsense. There is no law to say a child'd bedtime is 7pm! Bedtimes range from 7 til 9!

BethNoire · 12/09/2009 14:40

Are there village pubs that dont do food etc? We have a few pubs here (quite a few, known for it sadly) and they ALL do food, once it becomes that sort of environment thaen I don't see it is a bad thing; I certainly used to go out a lot when I was a kid with my parents etc and it was fine,we enjoyed it, was a treat.

Now naturally there are plenty of pubs I wouldn't go to with kids, including any after 9-ish 9and that's key here: back when I drank for the sake of drinking we'd not be there before 9 anyway) but they do jnot tend to be the sort of villagey pub I am envisaging (Somerset rural type of pub).

And P

BethNoire · 12/09/2009 14:41

'Surely it is up to the licensee to set the rules though? Clearly this pub allows this child to be in this part of the pub at this time. Someone might think it is not appropriate for a child to be in the bar area at 6.30 on a Friday night but if the pub allow it then it's tough on them, they have to tolerate it or go somewhere else. The behaviour is different though. If anyone is being annoying people should complain. '

Yup.

hatwoman · 12/09/2009 19:01

cjjones tehre are people on this thread who think pubs should be "adult spaces" (at least 5) I quote:

you know what? i am going to go out on a limb here and say a pub is an adult space

I totally agree

I agree

Pubs are ADULT spaces, pure and simple.

i woudlnt want osmoene leses kid in a pub when i have paid for mine not to be there...
kids have fucking PLKAYCENTRES piss off to them fsg...we dont want kids in pubs
I will blow smoke in their faces

Lilyloo · 12/09/2009 19:42

Curiosity i completely agree with all your posts !!!

MuppetsMuggle · 12/09/2009 19:46

My DD aged 4.7yrs comes up the pub with us when we go unless my parents agree to babysit, to give us an evening of parent free drinking

DD loves it up the pub and everyone loves her too, as she plays nicely with the landlords daughter aged 11, she doesn't bother the other people in there and just sings and dances along with the music.

I wouldn't of taken her up there at aged 2 but think as she is now at school and well behaved its fine, if she started to climb and annoy others I would bring her home.

ginormoboobs · 12/09/2009 19:51

YANBU
Kids should be winding down and getting reading for bed at 6.30pm!
Unless they are there for a meal then they shouldn't be there at all.
I am a bitch and would send her back to her parents. I can't be bothered with the "kids are kids" attitude that some parents have. I don't want other people's children climbing on me , yapping at me or being in my space when I am not with my children. Fair enough to come over and say hello etc because it's nice but if they bother me I will send them to their parents.
Having children in a pub does make for an awkaward atmosphere as you have to watch what you say. Watch your drinks for little hands. That bloody annoying mothers instinct makes it hard to relax when kids are wandering around as you can't help but keep an eye on them(DH says the same)

pranma · 12/09/2009 20:03

i am all for kids enjoying a family meal in a pub or having a drink and a play if equipment is provided-it is the night time thing I am uncomfortable with especially for a toddler.Bedtimes vary of course but surely no one really wants their dc in a drinking alcohol environment at night?You rarely see small children in pubs after dark,most landlords aren't keen and most childless adults too.I spend a lot of time in Turkey where it is normal for whole families to be out late together,walking,stopping for a coffee or a glass of wine-grannies,parents babies everyone-but not crowded into a room where most people are getting quietly[or loudly]drunk.

curiositykilled · 13/09/2009 11:42

Thanx lilyloo and hatwoman. I'm glad some people seem to agree I was beginning to talk myself round in circles in frustration. I have got a little obsessed with this thread I think! I had dreams all night about it, drawing exaggerated lines between this kind of behaviour and apartheid - scary! lol Hopefully I shall be able to get a life when my twins are born in a few weeks... big beached whale!

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 13/09/2009 15:26

Lolololol at 'kids should be winding down for bed at 6.30'
On a bloody weekend night? Sounds like a right barrel o larfs at your house

bangandthedirtisgone · 13/09/2009 15:31

I always used to think pubs were an ok place to swear but I got told off for swearing in a pub late one evening by a lady on the table next to me.

pranma · 13/09/2009 15:47

Surely very small children dont distinguish between weekend and weekdays.I agree that 6.30 is an appropriate time to start the bath story sleep routine with under 5s.Who on earth wants a grumpy todddler up when he/she is overtired running around a pub-thats the house where there would be"a right barrel o larfs"not the one where los are fast asleep by 7.30 and parents either leaving them with a sitter or enjoyong a meal,a bottle of wine,a film and a cuddle at home.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 13/09/2009 16:39

Well I was more flexible with the routine at weekends, tbh.
And I don't think it's anyone elses place to decide what is a reasonable time for other parents to put their kids in bed.
Tis not the law that children should be winding down by 6.30. We have enjoyed many later evenings out with dd, particularly in the summer months.

Knickers0nMaHead · 13/09/2009 17:24

YANBU.

Kids need to be in bed, or at least, home, by a reasonable time, ie 6ish.

We go to the pub, every now and then, with the dcs, but

  1. it is through the day
  2. We sit outside in the beer garden where they can play
  3. and never on a friday night.
MeAndMyMonkey · 13/09/2009 17:52

This is such a wierd thread... generally I agree - in the evenings pubs should pretty much be for adults, but this is only til 8.30. I mean, does anyone even go to the pub before 8.30 for a night out?
But what is this with all the 'kids need to be in bed by 7' brigade?
Why?
Why do kids - under school age - need to be put to bed so ridiculously early? Mine - nearly 3 - would not sleep before 8, ever, and she never ever gets up before 8am (nor does she need to) so why would I force her into a ludicrously early bed/bath routine?
I just don't get why anybody should care about what time other people's children are put to bed. It's really really strange.
Actually being judgey I think kids being put to bed at 6.30 is just downright odd.

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