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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a pub on a friday night isnt the right place for a 2 year old.

179 replies

geordieminx · 11/09/2009 19:47

Not sure about this.

Mum goes to a nice country pub most friday nights - not a child-orientated pub, quiet local type pub.

Their friends have a wee girl who is nearly 2, every week they bring her to the pub and allow her to climb over people, give them all kisses on the lips and generally make a nusiance of herself. Totally not her fault, nothing for her to do, tired, no other kids, my ds who is 2 would be exactly the which is why I wouldnt do it.

Now, I know that a 1 off isnt too bad or whatever but both sets of grandparents live close so its not like they dont have babysitters - its making for an awkward atmosphere at the pub - people who go on a Friday night to relax after a week at work having a toddler climbing about, wanting attention. Parents just laugh it off.

MN jury - acceptable or not?

OP posts:
MoreCrackThanHarlem · 13/09/2009 18:09

Why on earth do children need to be home by 6?
Does no one take their children out on the evenings on a weekend?
We don't tend to go to the pub, but we do go to the cinema, bowling, the German Market in the winter, the Valentines fair etc etc.
Dd hasn't yet melted at dusk

ilovespagbol · 13/09/2009 18:24

If this where anywhere else in Europe this would not even be a matter for discussion!

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 13/09/2009 18:37

I agree Monkey.
Late night shopping at Christmas when the lights and trees are up is one of dd's favourite activities, and skating at the outdoor ice rink at night.
I know some people stick so rigidly to bedtimes that even on their holidays the kids are in bed by 7.30. I can't understand why, personally.

pooexplosions · 14/09/2009 00:29

How about a sunday night? I spent 2 hours in the local pub this evening with my husband and 5 and 2 year olds. They behaved impeccably and we had a lovely time.
I'm sure some of you would be objecting though, because they dared to be breathing the same air as you.

yummyspottyblueberry · 14/09/2009 00:37

My 2 yr old is in bed by 7. If I took him to the pub it would be a 'special occassion' and we wouldn't stay later than 8. He would try and make a nusiance of himself no doubt as would be quite tired! but for half an hour at 7.30 I would hope people felt it charming rather than offensive! Would avoid any anti kid area if pre-known tbh

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 08:44

There's nothing wrong with kids being in pubs, but a toddler climbing over strangers in a pub, who could of been drinking a while, is out of order. Nothing wrong with kids being out at that time, on a special occasion either. And I dont even go out anymore.

thesecondcoming · 14/09/2009 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pooexplosions · 14/09/2009 10:01

OK, a couple of points. Adorable and well behaved, not really.But they were very good yesterday.
I'm not in the UK, so maybe pubs are different here. On a Sunday (and lots of other times), anytime up until around 9pm, you would most definitely expect to have children in the pub. Not a city centre bar, but local country and suburbun pubs, certainly. They are not adult only spaces all the time . Most pubs have a bar area and a lounge, and if you don't want to see children you would go in the bar, not the lounge.
But the fact is, its only your opinion that makes it an adults only space, and only your opinion that makes children an infringement on other peoples downtime. As for parents and their selfish needs, well we all have selfish needs don't we? But since my children were not affecting other patrons in anyway whatsoever, plus were having a nice time relaxing with their parents (one of whom was drinking non-alco beer, before anyone starts about drinking being in charge of toddlers!), please explain how my selfish needs were being placed ahead of other drinkers or the children? How was there a negatiev effect on anyone at all?

thesecondcoming · 14/09/2009 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 10:16

Pooexplosions, why are you taking such offence? There's a huge difference here, which is the fact that the child in the op is there all the time, and left to her own devices. Now, unless you do that, I dont get your problem? No one said anything about not wanting to breath the same air as your kids, that is just ott.

pooexplosions · 14/09/2009 10:19

I'm not taking any offence whatsoever. I am pointing out to you that in many places people see pubs differently, and its not outside the realms of possibility that people in the same pub as you also see it differently. I am merely trying to ascertain how exactly children are necessarily a nuisance to others, since you don't specify at all.

You did not specify that only children like in the OP were a problem in pubs, you implied all children in pubs were a problem and that all parents are selfish for bringing children into pubs.

I am from the UK originally and am familiar with practices there, although it sounds like things hae changed somewhat. I know I spent a fair amount of time in the pub as a small child, but that was probably down to parental alcoholism rather than more acceptance of children in pubs! Out of interest, is there a full smoking ban in pubs in the UK now? Are there actual restrictions on children being in pubs, eg times allowed etc? I have spent little time in the country since I had children, though I do remember on my last visit with a baby there were a lot pf places we were not welcome.....

LynetteScavo · 14/09/2009 10:20

I wouldn't do it, but lots of people do.

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 10:23

Hang on, I think you are getting confused here I never said all children in pubs are a nuisance!

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 10:24

And, I never said anyone was selfish

pooexplosions · 14/09/2009 10:28

thesecondcoming did call parents in pubs selfish, and more than one poster said that all pubs were adult only spaces that children should not be in, no matter how they were behaved, thats the point I was making about "breathing the same air".....

Cheepz · 14/09/2009 10:43

we take our 2 yr old ds to the pub in the evening from time to time if we are out. We make sure we have crayons or similar activity to keep him occupied at a table and we are lucky that he doesn't seem to get irritable or start to play up when he is tired. He seems to enjoy being included. Never had a problem with any other customers but then we don't let him climb all over the place. Every now and then there is someone who casts a dissapproving glance but for the most part people seem very happy or indifferent to the fact he is there.

If he was playing up, or trying to grab other peoples drinks or climb on them we would not do it - I don't think thats very fair (or hygenic!) and I wouldn't want to have someone elses child scrambling all over me if I was out for a drink and trying to have a conversation.

thesecondcoming · 14/09/2009 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WidowWadman · 14/09/2009 10:47

I've taken my 8 month old to the pub last friday, we went there for a drink, not a meal, as a nice finish to a long day of walking in the hills We left around nine to get back to the campsite for dinner.

My daughter was smily, did babble a lot, and quite the opposite of cranky. The pub was quiet, people chatting over beer, no loud shouty beerhaviour.

Until reading this thread it didn't come to my mind at all that I could be guilty of bad parenting for taking my child along.

pooexplosions · 14/09/2009 10:51

Jeez, and you think I am takin it personally ? That may be what you meant, but you didn't specify actually.

I didn't ignore your reasons, I asked further questions. But back to your point ;
"By virtue of the fact that pubs mainly exist to sell alcohol to adults and that children are not welcome without the accompaniment of adults and are not able to approach the bar or make use of any of the services within the pub without the support of an adult that to me,would indicate it was an adult space"

Don't they also sell soft drinks as well as alcohol? Children can't go to a lot of places without adults, that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't welcome or appropriate, does it?
The bit about the bar confused me..are children not allowed to go to the bar? Alone or accompanied? Is this law or a local pub rule?
I've neer heard of this before, is why I'm asking.

OtterInaSkoda · 14/09/2009 10:53

Sorry I've not read the whole thread (crappy Internet connection - it'd take me all day).
6.30 - 8.30 is fine IMO. I quite like the idea of dp and I meeting up, ds in tow (although he's way older than 2) for a drink or two (and I mean just the one or two) after work, early on a Friday evening.
I'd find it annoying if I was sans enfant though and trying to have a cigarette conversation and being pawed at by a toddler. Ummmm, so YABU - 6.30-8.30 isn't exactly Friday night and depends on the atmosphere of the pub, but YANBU if the dc is annoying everyone.

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 10:55

Widow, we have done that before. It is not bad parenting. Its let the child climb/do whatever she pleases while the parent gets pissed, that is!
So many people are reading things that arnt even there on here.

WidowWadman · 14/09/2009 11:00

Knickers, there were a few postings on this thread that a child shouldn't be even awake after 6:30 and it' those my reply was aimed at.

Totally agree that the child should not be just left to run riot, nor should the parent get totally smashed.

Knickers0nMaHead · 14/09/2009 11:14

I was one who said they should be at least home by that time, unless a special occasion/one off.

hippomother · 14/09/2009 11:24

Why on earth should a child be home by 6.30pm? If we are out for dinner we are often only just sitting down to eat at that time.

pooexplosions · 14/09/2009 11:26

Maybe they turn into pumpkins at 7pm?

Not being rude, I ust don't get that. All children should be at home, ready for an early night? Why?

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