To have a major crush and stalker-like tendencies on a ukulele player named Jonty?

[BettySuarez]

FGS.

I need a distraction!

If I share him with you then perhaps you can tell me that he is infact truly awful and then I will feel better?

MadBad, I am quite often game for a late night so will deal with the groupies and let you retire in peace.

I am a bit concerned about the red m&m's comment though (you sound dead fussy) and a rock and roll lifestyle requires a certain amount of flexibility

LackaDaisy - your offer to drive the tour bus is very much appreciated. After Jonty has showered me with champagne, I will not be up for much behind the wheel.

And I am not his stalker - merely his Biggest Fan (fervently hoping that Jonty hasn't watched Misery with Kathy Bates )

PaisleyLeaf, thank you for those links!

Jake Shimabukuro is just incredible and the Brighton group are just another reason why I would love to live there!

Daisy, you must get yourself a Ukulele. Can you not forge your husbands signature (I can)

Betty, oh dear.

I read in the MN Guide To Being A Rock Diva And International Megastar (I'm not having any more babies so the Guide To Pregnancy is no use to me) that one has to be slightly difficult - creative temperament, don't you know, dahling, mwah, mwah - and that no self-respecting rock goddess would, for example, eat M&Ms without insisting that they were colour-sorted first.

And it depends on what sort of flexibility you're looking for. I am quite adaptable and good at multi-tasking but am also ancient and arthritic so I shall leave the other sort of flexibility to you and Jonty in the back of the tour bus so ably driven by Lackadaisy.(Although she might have her own uke by then and want a front of house role).

Point taken re m&m's I am far to laid back and accomodating - that's my problem.

Perhaps we should have a whip round for Daisy's Uke?

Betty, with your three chords you're catching up with me quickly! Easy, isn't it? Although I think a tad more practice is needed before I get to UOGB standard.

Anyway, I think we need to talk outfits. We should base them on the WWJL principle (what would Jonty like?). Brown leather?

Hana - The last time you saw them? Does that mean you've seen them more than once?

Heart Ukele Orchestra. Only in GB could this mob be sex symbols/rock stars. This is why I love this country (despite all crap that goes on)

Haven't read thread but did anyone hear Radio 4 prog about UOGB - perfect - we actually sat in the car 20 minutes after reaching our destination because we couldn't bear to miss the end.

aw, feels all loved at the thought of a whip round

I will persuade MrD, but fear my utter lack of talent renders me only fit to drive the bus anyway, although I'm not sure if I'd let that sort of shennanigans go on on my watch

Ah hana, I've not seem them before so it's not old to me

Yes badgermonkey, lets talk outfits. We need a uniform but the tux thing has been overdone. I will have a think!

WWJL indeed? (we need a phwooar emoticon on mumsnet)

MadBad, the tour bus scenario is making me hot under the collar. This is NOT GOOD as I still need to load the dishwasher and get school uniforms in the wash.

Hello hana and welcome aboard - dying to know more about long haired head bangers daughter!

Surely we all have grass skirts to hand?

gcup.hinternet.com.au/images/ukulele-wahine.jpg

Am very alarmed at the thought of a grass skirt. Not very becoming on those of us who are short of leg and vast of waist. Was rather looking forward to a YSL smoking.

Betty - Calm down, dear. Lackadaisy has just put her foot down about any tour bus hanky panky. This will (it seems) have to be a wholly musical and intellectual encounter.

lol

I'll leave betty to her dreams of Jonty and thank my stars that as a non performer I can avoid the grass skirt scenario, especially if it means the only thing covering my boobs is a garland of hibiscus flowers.

I thought of a name though.....MumsnUKErs

night all

Six times, Hana? Reeee-spect!

Oh hana, lucky you. I have to admire them from afar I'm afraid as crap at organising even the merest semblence of a social life.

This is probably just as well as would not trust myself seeing them live (would probably let out one 'whoop' to many and generally behave like a complete loon )

The only way I can forsee a vacancy is if Hester falls preganant with triplets (say) and Kitty decides to enact a resurgence of her rock and roll days, leaving two empty chairs.

Now with current employment legislation being what it is (i.e rather shit) the UKOGB would have to offer the two spare chairs as a job share so I see no reason why me, MadBad and GentleOtter couldn't take it in turns.

Only can I sit nearest to Jonty?

Good to see you again, Betty. I thought you were now devoted full-time to ukulele practice.

I like your thinking re the job-share. But if Hester is on maternity leave with her [imaginary] triplets it may only be a fixed term appointment. We could be turfed out after 9 months. Still, it would mean that I could sit next to Peter.

I have just had the most amazing ukulele experience. We were out for an early evening walk and came across a group of young ladies singing Teenage Kicks and strumming their ukuleles. Was that the first rehearsal of the MN Ladies' Ukulele Ensemble?

I can well imagine that Hester would be into attachment parenting and co-sleeping (would have been different had her parents named her Sharon or Vicky) )therefore there is no way she would be ready to return to work after 9 months.

Anyway, by then we would be well intergrated into the UKOGB. The public will naturally adore us and my 3 chord rendition of Row Row Row Your Boat (with that slight pause between the C Chord and the G7 - because I am really quite shite) will be loved by the press and replayed on YouTube endlessley.

You will naturally have more talent then me but will be loved for your quick wit and heady dress sense.

No idea who your ensemble were, did you tell them that the vacancy had been filled?

at trying to second-guess the parenting style of people we don't know, based on the rigorous evidence of their [possibly adopted stage] names.

I didn't speak to the ensemble, but we did exchange friendly smiles. I wasn't unhinged bold enough to tell them of my dream of running away to join the UOGB. Of course, whether I have any talent at all for the ukulele is untested, as I have never touched one and am strictly an air ukulele-ist.

OK, come on - was there really an ensemble playing teenage kicks? Or were you making that up?

I am slightly drunk by the way so ready to belive anything you tell me.

Anyway you should get a ukuele as a matter of urgency. I have nearly mastered row row your boat and am very nearly ready for 'oh susannah' but if you hurry, you can catch up.

AAnyway,must dash - hsband lookimng at me weirdly as I am supposed to be sitting here doing my accounts and he can't quite undersatnd why this activity would be so amusing.

Yes, it really happened. Truly. Brownies' honour. I don't (alas) have the imagination to make something like that up. I attribute it to synchronicity and cosmic forces - the whole world's going ukulele. In fact, it was A Sign. I must get my own ukulele pronto. I love O Susannah but it will be difficult for me to learn it, because I was merciless in teasing a friend when he got a (dread word) banjo.

Incidentally, how much of your plan have you vouchsafed to your husband, Betty?

Hmm. Gone very quiet here. Guess everyone's practising their chord sequences.

sigh, not yet. But I will, one day soon

Could be worse OP could be a Morris Dancer called Nigel