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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a major crush and stalker-like tendencies on a ukulele player named Jonty?

132 replies

BettySuarez · 02/09/2009 22:22

FGS.

I need a distraction!

If I share him with you then perhaps you can tell me that he is infact truly awful and then I will feel better?

OP posts:
scroobiuspirate · 03/09/2009 22:43

but thumbs up tp crushes, crushes are magic

Original poster
BettySuarez · 03/09/2009 22:48

He does indeed have a nice nose and nice fingers

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 03/09/2009 22:53

Jonty?...

LackaDAISYcal · 03/09/2009 22:57

oooh, love love love the ukelele orchestra.

DH and I are going to see them in York in October and I'm very excited about it.

Not sure about Jonty's sex appeal though!

Original poster
BettySuarez · 03/09/2009 23:01

I am very jealous LackaDAISY as have tried to get tickets but everywhere within reach sold out.

Probably just as well as I dont quite trust myself not to throw myself upon him mid whistle

OP posts:
MadBadOnlyReadsTheBroadsheets · 03/09/2009 23:01

I've just been looking at their tour dates and wondering how to get to some of their far-flung gigs. We saw them quite recently. It was fabulous.

LackaDAISYcal · 03/09/2009 23:02

I'll throw some knickers at him for you with a label attached saying "love from BettySuarez" if you like?

....although my aim better be good from the seats we're in

MadBadOnlyReadsTheBroadsheets · 03/09/2009 23:04

Or perhaps a banner on a fibreglass pole, a la Glastonbury?

Original poster
BettySuarez · 03/09/2009 23:16

Thank you LackaDaisy that is a very kind offer

but could they be nice knickers (with a cotton gusset), I don't want him to get the wrong impression of me (like you would with a nylon gusset for example )

OP posts:
moomaa · 03/09/2009 23:21

Yes they are all fab. We saw them a while ago and I have been desperate to see them again. And we are, in less than 2 weeks

moomaa · 03/09/2009 23:22

I can't throw knickers for anyone though, it's in Winchester and they are all very posh there. Everyone would know I wasn't a local!

MadBadOnlyReadsTheBroadsheets · 03/09/2009 23:22

It's been done before (see last paragraph).

GentleOtter · 03/09/2009 23:38

Betty- why don't you throw your nice white cotton knickers at him with you still wearing them ?

LackaDAISYcal · 03/09/2009 23:41

lol madbad.....I'm sure I can come up with something better than enormous pink and frilly that meets BS's requirement for a cotton gusset

LackaDAISYcal · 03/09/2009 23:42

pmsl at gentleotter

badgermonkey · 03/09/2009 23:44

Oh, I love him! I love all of them! I bought tickets to see them in Hull and really hope that one of them will have a mildly inconveniencing accident and they will say "is there a ukulele player in the audience?" and I can say YES! because DH bought me one and I know four or five chords already.

I also love the fact that people always snort with derision when you say you love the Ukulele Orchestra, until they watch the Youtube vids and end up loving the Ukulele Orchestra too.

MadBadOnlyReadsTheBroadsheets · 03/09/2009 23:50

Derision? Do they? It's only on MN that I can find people who've even heard of the UOGB.

Tell me more about learning the ukulele, badgermonkey. I have the same fantasy about a mildly inconveniencing accident but the drawback is I don't have my own ukulele and can't play a chord. How long would it take before I could take the lead on Smells Like Teen Spirit, do you think?

trulyscrumptious43 · 03/09/2009 23:51

I used to think when I was a child that Terry Wogan was my dad. My dad would leave the house, wearing a suit, with his sideburns (we're talking the 70's here)and then Terry (looking v similar) would be on the radio, the tv, often both.
I was quite happy with this arrangement and to this day won't hear a word against Terry. Or my dad.

My point is, it's quite normal IMHO to develop fantasies about people in the media, and they don't have to be sexual. Keep on keepin on with the Jonty thing.

Btw my dad knows about this and is quite happy to share the parental burden.

hatesponge · 04/09/2009 00:01

Betty, I think he's quite nice actually. Shave his hair off & rough him up a bit and he's a ringer for one of my Ex's

I thought playing the ukelele was a bit naff tbh - I know someone who does, quite well apparently - but clearly I was wrong and it is in fact cool! Yet another thing I have learnt from MN!

Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/09/2009 00:01

gentleotter - nice idea but I am ticketless (not knickerless though )

OK, I fess up. I have ordered a Ukulele in the vain hope that they will allow me to replace Hester one day.

Jonty will then surely fall in love with me but I have a fair bit of practicing to do in the meantime.

But as soon as he is smitten, I will try and pursuade him to revert back to his real name which much surely be johnathon or John as Jonty is a bit nobby if I'm honest

Yup, I have thought about this ALOT.

Perhaps we can persuade them to attend the mumsnet christmas meet up?

OP posts:
TeamEdward · 04/09/2009 00:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadBadOnlyReadsTheBroadsheets · 04/09/2009 00:07

If MNHQ can book the Ukelele Orchestra of GB as cabaret for the Christmas meet up I will definitely be there!

GentleOtter · 04/09/2009 00:07

What if his real name is Jontacleer?
No love could endure that name.

Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/09/2009 00:08

good idea MadBad, we should also learn to whistle

OP posts:
badgermonkey · 04/09/2009 00:08

OK, the ukulele is EASY to play! It has four strings and it's no bother to find lessons on the internet, and it's not naff at all, it's supercool. I do play the guitar (not well) which helped slightly but honestly, I took it downstairs and sat with google for half an hour and I could knock out a couple of tunes no bother.

But Hester's place is mine!

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