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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a major crush and stalker-like tendencies on a ukulele player named Jonty?

132 replies

BettySuarez · 02/09/2009 22:22

FGS.

I need a distraction!

If I share him with you then perhaps you can tell me that he is infact truly awful and then I will feel better?

OP posts:
trulyscrumptious43 · 04/09/2009 00:08

Actually he's rather sweet in this one...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfK-UzQ48JE&feature=related

Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/09/2009 00:10

Jontacleer? Horror! I cant decide whether I will call him Jon or Johhny (when we meet and he falls madly in love with me), but Jontacleer WTF?

OP posts:
badgermonkey · 04/09/2009 00:12

Jonty Bankes? Call him JB.

MadBadOnlyReadsTheBroadsheets · 04/09/2009 00:13

Ah. That has really cheered me up. There is so much joy there. Just look at the audience's faces.

And by the way. You're all wrong. Hester's place is mine. Eventually.

badgermonkey · 04/09/2009 00:13

Also, I can't believe how excited I was that I saw this thread title and KNEW who it was about. I'm not to be trusted around the song "Wuthering Heights" in case I shout HEATHCLIFF at odd moments...

hatesponge · 04/09/2009 00:14

I once knew someone called Jonty. His real name was John Thomas (possibly hyphenated but I'm not sure)

Dunno whether that's worse than Jontacleer or not...

Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/09/2009 00:15

truly that is a great clip (love it) but noticed he is wearing a wedding ring but not in more recent clips?

OP posts:
badgermonkey · 04/09/2009 00:16

John Thomas! But how big was his...ukulele?

GentleOtter · 04/09/2009 00:17

I don't know how to say this kindly but look at his (nice) finger in truly's link. There was a ring.

Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/09/2009 00:17
Grin
OP posts:
MadBadOnlyReadsTheBroadsheets · 04/09/2009 00:17

Badgermonkey - Me too. I just knew this would be about the UOGB and I was drawn in, like a moth to a flame.

Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/09/2009 00:19

ah yes GenttleOtter, I spotted that but that clip was filmed in 2007 and more recent clips show that he is ringless.

I can assure you that I have been quite thorough!

But sweet of you to break it gently

OP posts:
Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/09/2009 00:21

BadgerMonkey - I agree about the Wuthering Heights Song!

"Heathcliffe"

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 04/09/2009 06:09

I have nothing to say but, I love this thread. I am cracking up And I quite like the name Jonty. It's...jaunty!

roundededges · 04/09/2009 07:36

Ah musicians . . . like the music but Jonty doesn't do it for me

YanknCock · 04/09/2009 08:32

I adore the entire UOGB!! DH and I discovered them on YouTube about a year or so ago and watch/sing their version of Wuthering Heights regularly. DH also plays the ukulele, occasionally brings it along on long drives to amuse me by playing rock/metal on it.

LackaDAISYcal · 04/09/2009 08:35

I'm sure Betty, that if he ever meets you ringless or not, he will be dancing around you plucking at his ukelele and serenading you with a rose clamped firmly between his teeth

I've been watching all the vids and am loving them even more and want a ukelele for Christmas, although as the guitar I got four years ago sits forlornly in the corner of the room untouched my DH might not be so keen!

GentleOtter · 04/09/2009 08:42

Betty- you must invest in tickets for their concerts. Front row natch.

Now Jonty has a look about him that says lots of fresh air to me, maybe even hints at orienteering or the such like so a warm anorak and compass is a must.

Next step is to start moving in ukulele circles
which you may find a bit cleeky at first but persevere. Watch old George Formby vids and be ready to emulate that cheeky, toothsome grin. Jonty will love it and next thing you know, he will be smitten.

Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/09/2009 09:20

GentleOtter - pmsl I'll grab my anorak.

I think that I need to somehow orchestrate a chance encounter. Where I would naturally be sat there playing my ukulele rather pathetically. But it would get his attention and then he would have to come over and help me.

At this point, it is to be hoped that he is very familiar with the potters wheel scene in ghost and we can then take it from there.

This plan may need fine tuning slightly so all input welcome!

OP posts:
GentleOtter · 04/09/2009 09:33

Can you obtain a backstage pass and sort of 'hang out' there. A nice plate of sandwiches would probably go down well after they have performed and Jonty does look like he needs feeding up a bit.

Would he be interested in one to one tuition or help you with your technique?

badgermonkey · 04/09/2009 09:34

Have you considered, at all, leaning on a lamppost at the corner of his street?

MadBadOnlyReadsTheBroadsheets · 04/09/2009 10:59

.... which would then enable him to see that you are indeed Ms Dynamite-ee-ee.

MadBadOnlyReadsTheBroadsheets · 04/09/2009 11:00

.... and definitely not a teenage dirt bag.

Original poster
BettySuarez · 04/09/2009 11:54

I just think that lampost leaning is not proactive enough and we have a slight issue in that we dont know where he lives.

Perhaps we should form an all-girl ukulele band and challenge them to a strum-off?

Jonty will fall madly in love with me and the Mr Big lookalike will be smitten with BadgerMonkey.

GentleOtter - would you settle for the headbanging one with the long hair?

OP posts:
badgermonkey · 04/09/2009 12:12

You don't know where he lives? That's entry-level stalkery, surely? (Note to Jonty, should he google himself and find this - we are not really going to do this. Probably.)

The other one does look like Mr Big! I was just thinking that yesterday. I was going to form a ukulele duo with my friend called the Ukes of Hazzard, but there already is a band by that name, and he doesn't own a uke. So I am currently an unaffiliated ukulele player. As long as the strum-off is playing either "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz or "Dream a Little Dream of You", I'm in. I can't really play anything else.