that going on a night out 4 days after giving birth is a bit OTT?

[mears]

Wearing mini skirt and thigh boots and baby over an hour away at granny's overnight?

Would you?

no but your post was embellished and invited that kind of dumbass response

mears will you be sharing your real thoughts with the real person in question, strumpet or not? just interested.

The thing about anonymity on mumsnet is that you can discuss issues without actually harming anyone. It will not get back to the person concerned because you are not discussing it in real life.

I defy anyone to say that they have never been judgemental about anything.

For those I have offended I apologise. I am not a bad person. I do occasionally have bad thoughts that I shared here in a naughty, flippant way.

Apologies.

Snapple - obviously not. See post below.

Of course it is wrong.A 4 day old baby should not be apart from its mother for 12 hours.

it pisses me off that it is perfectly ok for a man to go out and wet the babies head but people go all judgy when a woman does it. more power to her if she is able

I know someone who left their baby at a week old and went skiing for a week!!!!!
She hated it though and said it was a stupid thing to do

where does it say new mum gone for 12hours?

I left one of mine for a few hours during the first week to sit the practical of a GCSE exam. Was I wrong? I don't think so. Doesn't seem to have hurt the baby or me.

If this new mum has gone out for a couple of hours it might do her a world of good. Give her a confidence boost and put her in a great frame of mind. She might also still be on a post-birth high. Going for a night out on day 4 mght help her skip 3rd day blues(if she was prone to them).

Would have been nearer 24 hours.

I've heard it all now - this thread is getting ridiculous so I've 'left the building'......

yes go on mears speculate a bit more throw the rubberneckers a tit bit

I was personally too f*cked with tiredness and sleep deprivation to even consider going on a night out 6 months after giving birth, never mind 4 days!!
Good on women that can do it, take my hat off to them. ;)

Craigtoun hospital (now closed/demolished?) in St Andrews was where new mums in my area could go to recover from the birth years ago.

It was run a bit like a hotel with babysitting on the last evening so mum & dad could go out for a meal without baby. This was an NHS hospital btw. How civilised!

That was in the days when my DD1 was born - sadly no more it seems, a few hours & you're home.

The trouble with that is everyone thinks 'back to normal' whatever that entails (housework, seeing to older children, going out, etc)

I think you are taking this thread a little too seriously scottishmummy.

Mears simply asked an AIBU about whether it was a bit OTT.
MNers then gave their opinion, yes many of them are different from yours, but I don't think Mears deserves vilifying for asking.

Where would MN be without threads like this

Absolutely no way!

I felt really spaced for days afterwards (no morphine and not much G&A, but I did have an epidural), so even going out for a walk was a surreal experience. Separation anxiety (mine, not his) would have killed me too.

I'm amazed that anyone could feel together enough to go for a night out, but like others have said the baby was left with her Mum so was well cared for.

I loved the first few days/weeks being at home nesting and slobbing tbh! Every little fart and grimace was cooed over (mine that is, although DSs were quite sweet too ) and there's no way I'd have wanted to be out partying at that stage. It was a different story by 8 weeks though... I still remember the euphoria I felt striding alone down Upper Street on a balmy June evening, feeling 'normal' again

But I can understand why a prior engagement might mean you had to go out. And there's no-one I'd trust more to look after my newborn than my own mum.

mia do you want to address the same comment to those others who speculate

she is a bad mum
poor attachment
has PND

or just me?

forgive me if i dont share the collective mirth

Scottishmummy, I will decline your offer to apply my last comment to everyone, because everyone is entitled to their opinions, just as you are entitled to say you don't think any of those are valid concerns.

As I said, what I don't agree with is you vilifying Mears for merely asking the question.

wow!

I could see how a very fit young woman who had an easy delivery could manage to do this. I feel fairly ok with it actually.

i could have gone out on the fourth day after ds -nice easy recovry with no stitches - but

1. couldn't afford it anyway
2. was BF and not willing to risk latching issues for a night out.
3. CORSETs are more my thing for going out gear.
4. Wanted to be with my newbie.

I have heard of women going out (inclding BF ones) this shortly after birth, but mostly for really unmissable things. I prefer to relax at home once sprogged.

i went out for my first clubbing night in an age on friday - last time i went out in the UK you could smoke indoors, and clubs shut at 3 am! crazy times - good fun though, i was really suprised when men came up to us on the dance floor (I'm thinking, but we haven't been introduced?)

to me, it just would seem like they were trying too hard to prove that they still had a life.

mia,touching you jump in to protect someone from contrary opinion

diddums methink mears is a big girl,and you know what if you start an AIBU do expect responses.

as she said we disagree
that is different from vilification

You are missing my point spectacularly scottishmummy.

'mia,touching you jump in to protect someone from contrary opinion'

I would expect contrary opinion on AIBU and have said you are entitled to yours, that's what I love about AIBU.

But, you seem to think Mears shouldn't have even asked the AIBU question that gained so many responses that were different to yours. Not sure why we are not entitled to ask questions on a thread that is designed to gather opinion.

Am sure Mears is a big enough girl, though not knowing her myself I can't say for sure.

yes