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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that health professionals should not call me MUM

843 replies

Reallytired · 21/08/2009 19:34

DD had her jabs today and the nurse kept on calling me "Mum" even though I said to her that I did not want her to call me "Mum". I told her that it was a biological impossiblity that I was her mother.

I have two children and I am happy for me to call me Mum, but I do have a proper name and I think health professionals should use it.

OP posts:
mariemarie · 21/08/2009 23:28

Small White Cat - how can a child decide whether or not they want it to be formal or not?

Aitch - if the defendent was a child then personally I cant see what the problem would be.

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:28

chichi, swear to god, you're missing the point on this one. of COURSE i refer to my children's father as Dad if i'm speaking to them. you're getting too bogged down in what's happening in your house, it's not a great example of the issue. (although interestingly you acknowledge that you add the 'your' if you're angry so you do get that the semantics have a bearing).

beckysharp · 21/08/2009 23:29

Oh good chichi. I would hate to think that any of us were investing all our intellectual powers and passion into this debate

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:29

because he's NOT SWC'S DAD! that's the problem. bleedin' hell.

edam · 21/08/2009 23:29

Marie, nurses or docs who address the parent of their patient as 'Mum' are not using the parent's name, that's the whole point.

I am not Dr X's mother, or nurse Y's mother so they shouldn't start sentences: 'Mum, can you just...' or whatever.

If they can't be bothered to remember my name, even when it's on the notes there, right in front of them, I'd rather they didn't use any form of address at all. If they are talking to me, I'm listening already, no need to use 'Mum'.

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:30

I know it;s n ot a great example but I was asked about that particular example and I said I didn't care. As I don't care about the op's one.

We're just not going to agree on this. Not that I mind, like

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:30

and because it doesn't make any more sense to the child than to the rest of the room, because the child likely knows that swc is not his big sister. unless she's the lawyer for Jeremy Kyle, that is.

smallwhitecat · 21/08/2009 23:31

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AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:31

(oh, me neither, like).

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:31
Wink
beckysharp · 21/08/2009 23:32

... time for bed then, if we're all so confused we can't remember which analogy we last made or what side we're on

edam · 21/08/2009 23:33

Vets seem to manage to either get your name right or just not use a name or form of address at all, btw. Don't see why it's so hard for those looking after human beings.

And the reference to forms of address for the elderly is correct. Assuming you can call an elderly patient 'Doris' rather than 'Mrs Williams' is just rude.

mariemarie · 21/08/2009 23:33

I cant see how you can compare how a health professional should speak to a patient with how a lawyer should speak to their client.

It is totally different. Yes, they are both professional jobs, but they are in totally different situations. I would be horrified if my daughters HPs spoke to me in the same manner as a lawyer. HPs try to be informal in order to put you at ease. How the hell can you comfort a child/parent whilst being formal!!

edam · 21/08/2009 23:33

(Especially if her name isn't actually Doris, or Williams, obv!)

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:34

lol @ vets. Vets just talk about the bloody pet's name all the time. They are like that. Amnimals, animals, animals. S'all they ever think of.

MillyR · 21/08/2009 23:35

My local surgery is actually staffed by professional people who behave in a formal manner, rather than carrying on like they work behind a bar and you've just popped in for an informal Bacardi.

beckysharp · 21/08/2009 23:35

edam, I did one have a vet who came into the waiting room and asked if I was Rex's Mummy?

Didn't go back there ...

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:35

i guess it is a 'small stuff' issue. i think small courtesies are MASSIVELY important, and i think not addressing me as 'mum' is one of those small courtesies.

it's always interesting to see how the hcps respond when this comes up, though. it's generally along the nanninurse line, that it's silly and that we should try dealing with patients all day. bloody patients, they do ruin an otherwise excellent system.

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:36

My vet doesn't care two hoots about me. And my name's on the record. Unprofessional or what.

edam · 21/08/2009 23:37

My mother's vet used a long string of Anglo-Saxon yesterday, after sadly ignoring the warning that mother's cat would go for her if given a chance. 18 years old but that cat can still bite a vet holding a worming tablet...

mariemarie · 21/08/2009 23:37

Well, I dont have any pets so I shall bow out of this one now, ha ha. Night night.

chichichien · 21/08/2009 23:37

Whp pays her bills? That's what I'd like to know. Not the cat, tell you that for nuthin.

MillyR · 21/08/2009 23:37

Maybe this is an introvert/extrovert thing (clutching at straws). I don't find it comforting when I am treated informally by strangers.

AitchwonderswhoFruitCrumbleis · 21/08/2009 23:37

marie, swc has made it perfectly clear that she waits for a cue from her client as to how they wish to be addressed etc. that is all she is saying, that she would like to address her clients the way THEY would wish to be addressed. i really don't see how that is in the slightest bit controversial.

smallwhitecat · 21/08/2009 23:38

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