To think that health professionals should not call me MUM

[Reallytired]

DD had her jabs today and the nurse kept on calling me "Mum" even though I said to her that I did not want her to call me "Mum". I told her that it was a biological impossiblity that I was her mother.

I have two children and I am happy for me to call me Mum, but I do have a proper name and I think health professionals should use it.

Many of the mums of the dds' friends call me 'Young Chien's Mum' . They are so rude and disrespectful. They should use my name. They know what it is if only they would think and take two minutes to remember.

In NHS letters, I have always been referred to as 'the mother'. I would have preferred Mrs xxx or Mum, tbh. But I didn't get offended.

This is fascinating. All those of you who don't mind 'Mum' - a genuine question:

At home, does your husband/partner call you Mum? I don't mean in the sense of telling a child "Mum will help you", but in the sense that when you are talking to each other, you would call each other Mum and Dad, rather than your names?

there is the rub,i dont agree with the conspiracy theorist manufactured subtext that staff are trying to control exert their role over the masses

The child is the patient. You are mum to the patient.

If you say to a nurse who you see a lot that you object to the title 'mum' and they ignore you and carry on anyway, then that is rude. Not in any other situation.

exactly, edam. as i said, it's practically a caste system in hospitals. and look how many people are unquestioningly putting themselves at the bottom of that system (ooooh, but you are ) without bothering to question it. woman, know your place.

becky, my dh has the pleasure of seeing me every single day and I am the only wife he has. If he didn't know my name, then I'd be seriously fucking worried

However, on you rpoint, I have said many many times to the dds 'ask dad' etc.

Beleive it or not, he is not actually my dad.

Aitch,

I really don't get the not being called anything thing.

I remember with my MIL, she wanted me to call her mum or some Irish equivalent (mohair?), but I couldn't. She definitely didn't want me to call her by name.

The result is that we went through several years when I could only speak to her if I first attracted her attention by some kind of non-verbal effort or subterfuge.

It really wasn't worth the stress. I should have just called her by her Irish name which meant nothing to me but everything to her.

Sticks and stones - it's not true.

Now, in a letter as Aitch described, being referred to as 'mum' would bother me. Nurse saying it whilst DD was getting jabs? Not a jot.

By chichichien on Fri 21-Aug-09 23:08:21
Many of the mums of the dds' friends call me 'Young Chien's Mum' wink. They are so rude and disrespectful. They should use my name. They know what it is if only they would think and take two minutes to remember.

ah now, absolutely NOT the same. you ARE ds's mum. don't you see? you are NOT the parent of the receptionist behind the desk of the GP's surgery.

LOL chichichien, you know that's not what I mean. How would you feel if he addressed you as Mum, not 'chichichien'?

whoite cat, your pomposity is an unattractive trait

Becky,

DH refers to me as mummy when he is talking to the children, but to me when he is talking to just me or to strangers.

No different from HCPs.

Is there a solution? Given that you almost always need to wait for a while before being seen for the appointment for the child in your care, maybe to ease the bordom of waiting, you could be handed a blank name badge and a pen.
Then you could be called whatever you liked... if you put MUM on the badge, then that's your name.

I wonder if any of the drug companies would sponsor name badges, so that the cost doesn't come out of surgeries/health centres budgets.

Occasionalyl he has said 'mum what do you think?' in teh middle of a conversation. And occasionally I have said, 'dad, shut it'.

And it did not overly upset either of us

again, pointy, he IS their dad. i think we must be talking at cross-purposes here, none of what you're saying woudl bother me a jot.

It's a very fine line between pompous and rude.

Must be a nightmare if one of your clients is also a hcp

Tis different though, isn't it, because what we're talking about here is that ghastly moment when the nurse turns to you and says 'Now Mum, we must keep an eye on that rash', or whatever. It's a completely different feel and dynamic. It would be like your husband saying 'come on mum, make the dinner now'.

but aitch, I say 'ask dad', not 'ask your dad'.

'Ask dad' as if he is the dad of all of us.

CCC, it is not up to you to decide what is and is not rude. It is up to you to speak to patients in a way that they consider polite. That is the same in any job or really, in any aspect of life. Courtesy is about respecting other people's wishes wherever it is possible to do so. This is particularly important if you are working with people who are in a vulnerable situation.

Many women do not like to be called 'Mum' by people other than their children. So it would be polite to respect their wishes by not calling mothers in general 'Mum.'

swc has NOT been rude, what are you all talking about? mum? mum?