To think that health professionals should not call me MUM

[Reallytired]

DD had her jabs today and the nurse kept on calling me "Mum" even though I said to her that I did not want her to call me "Mum". I told her that it was a biological impossiblity that I was her mother.

I have two children and I am happy for me to call me Mum, but I do have a proper name and I think health professionals should use it.

smallwhitecat- I think calling people 'fuckwits' just for not addressing your correctly is lot more rude. Do you really expect to be treated with respect in those circumstances?

x-post with louby.

i may very well tell you that i'm my dd's mum, does that mean you will address me as 'mum' thereafter? i genuinely don't see the connection.

she assumes you're a fuckwit. she wouldn't dream of calling you a fuckwit.

'hello, I'm DrX and you are....'

looby, you could say "hello, I'm Jane X, child's name's paediatrician (or whatever), and you are...?" which might make child's escort more likely to respond with their own name & relationship to child rather than just "child's mum/dad/nanny/auntie"

(out of interest, if it was auntie, would you then address them as auntie for the duration, or would you establish a name to use?)

smallwhite cat
very drole

& if it was the nanny, would you address them as nanny?

very good question, ponders.

did anyone asnwer my comparison to teachers/
i cant find it

only that you were making an assumption about teachers en masse. guess who?

OH MY GOD i cannot imagine that

i certainly called my teacher mum on one gratuitously mortifying occasion.

I bet a nanny wouldn't be called 'nanny' cos they would be considered a professional doing their job. While is a parent is considered as just a parent.
Friend of mine is 44 and his mum accompanied him to the hospital because he needs interpreting for (he has severe CP and his speech is impossible to understand unless you know him well) and the doctors called her 'mum' and treated him like he was an idiot. Eventually she told them to talk to him direct and left the room.

I called my teacher mummy once (luckily I was only about 8 at the time )

oh htat is REALLY common

aitch and small white cat, I have not missed your point and I realise that you wouldn't actually call the HCP 'fuckwit' to their face. However, you still used the word 'fuckwit' on this thread when referring to HCP's. I would never call a patient 'fuckwit' however irritating they were! (Most patients are lovely but there are a few who are not- it can work both ways).
I am sorry that you appear to have had a number of bad experience's with HCP's. I really v much doubt that by using the word 'mum' they think you a fuckwit. I think it is more likely to be a habit that they don't realise if offensive.
Ponders, I already said that I don't use 'mum' if i am addressing the mother so I am probably not the best person to ask about the nanny issue.
Just out of interest, would you all refer to Dr by their full name (ie Dr Jones) or would you just say 'doctor would you mind.., etc' because this sometimes happens to me. I don't find it rude btw.

I always use a doctors full name and title. Except for dd's paed cos after 5 years we are on first name terms.

Had DS1's pre school boosters on Friday and would like to add my voice to those who hate being addressed as Mum. Don't mind 'Your mum' to DS1, but why address me as Mum? My name is there, on the notes, or just don't call me anything. I'm the only other adult in the room, FFS. I know who you're talking to.

To me, it's similar to the fact that our consultant always knocked on the door of the delivery room before coming in - he'd seen me in all sorts of undignified states, been our consultant through two pregnancies, and yet still afforded me the common courtesy of knocking before coming in.

And always addressed me by my name.

As do midwives during your labour, because they know how important it is to maintain your dignity and feelings of empowerment during labour.

And then you have the baby, and suddenly it's Mum this and Mum that. Tchah.

Sorry, looby, I meant to address that to you as a representative of the profession, not to you personally. (So what do you think most of your colleagues would do in that situation?)

Like Riven I usually say Dr Jones or whatever - but mostly because saying just "doctor" sounds too humble, rather than rude. (Except our own GP, we are on first name terms)

exactly, freshhell. my lovely doctor went BANANAS at another doctor who came into the room while i was having an internal scan to collect her handbag.

re; "I think it is more likely to be a habit that they don't realise if offensive." exactly again. i think that's what i've been saying, have i not?

but when it's pointed out that it is offensive it's doubly so to call the person foolish etc for feeling it, which is why i'm utterly fascinated by the majority of the hcps on the thread.

i should absolutely say that i don't feel i've had bad experiences with the nhs, quite the contrary, they've been overwhelmingly good. but being honest, if someone calls me 'mum' then i do mentally file them under 'not the brightest' and expect to double-check every thing they're telling me.

aitch, I just noticed your post your post from about 1/2 hr ago. I don't refuse to believe the evidence at all (although the people responding to this thread are not representative of the general population of mothers).
I have already said:

1. I don't do this anyway.
2. It has made me think about the issue.
3. The notes (GP's notes anyway) do not tell you the mother's name!!

In all fairness if the OP asked to be called something other than 'mum' the nurse should have done it. I'm a nurse and wouldn't dream of calling one of my patients mothers something they weren't comfortable with. However, I do call some of my patients mum's mum. I don't do it to power grab, but simply because I don't know there names. Not because I haven't taken the time to look it up, but because when patients are admitted and I introduce myself, and never as staff nurse blah by the way, a lot of the parents say 'Hi, this is blah and I'm mum and this is dad'. Maybe people are just more relaxed about it round here. I make an effort to call people by their proper names if they tell me though. I also introduce junior docs as their first names, sometimes doesn't go down very well .

On another note when my sister was 5 a teacher asked her 'what's your mum and dad's names' she just looked at her and said 'mum and dad'. Just saying, if I say to a child, look at Mrs Smith, they probably wouldn't have the first clue who I was talking about.

re Doctor etc. it's a mark of respect to call you doctor, quite the opposite of calling me mum. to your own mother it's a mark of respect, and even love, to me it's just weird and a bit lazy.