To think that health professionals should not call me MUM

[Reallytired]

DD had her jabs today and the nurse kept on calling me "Mum" even though I said to her that I did not want her to call me "Mum". I told her that it was a biological impossiblity that I was her mother.

I have two children and I am happy for me to call me Mum, but I do have a proper name and I think health professionals should use it.

lol.

you know, of all the people who've responded with a YABU to ReallyTired on this thread, very few have said that they like being called mum, more that they tolerate it because they've got bigger fish to fry at that moment in time. your constituency of people who find it relaxing is tiny, i think. in fact it may just be fanjoforthemammaries. [foolish]

why is it 'foolish'?

Now I am worried about what it says about me

Actually I know, it's because I don't feel much like a mum sometimes (DD is probably autistic) so every little helps, sad I know

'I think it is very foolish to object to this, and quite rude to someone who is just trying to be "approachable". '

well we must be foolish then. I hate it and given we are in and out of hospital I find it grating and patronising. Learn the bloody name.

i assumed that meant it was a foolish grin!!!

i dont have a name badge no one knows my forename

you know, i was goiing to write ' fanjo' because of your sweet post about your dd. but it squeezing your fanjo DID seem a little too familiar. [manly pat on shoulder]

I HAVE to wear a name badge, and am only a receptionist, so noone needs to know my name (unless they want to complain about me) so it's quite irking when people keep using it when I am just trying to make them an appointment with the dentist!!

Aitch - but thats just what I need

Thanks! Have actually had a very nice day today where DD actually seemed to notice me and kept smiling at me, so there is hope

sounds lovely, fanj

I like "fanj", maybe I should put that on my name badge at work instead!

! will try to bear that in mind next time a "parent" comes in,frantic and desperately worried about their child.

Obviously I should revert back to the old ways of treating you as a "lowly" one of many patients,whose concern is boring!

I shall address my parents in future as Mr or Ms,can't say Mrs either obviously as that "offends" some people.

I shall not empathise and try and promote a caring attitude, as a fellow "Mum" (what an offensive Title!).

Thanks for the advice.

Sawyer, I'm sure, if you are a good and caring nurse, people will still appreciate your work, it's just a slight bugbear for some (seemingly most on here) people I think

(I have learned, as a receptionist, not to get too hung up on these things since a thread where some people WANTED to be called by their first names and others positively LOATHED it, you can't win)

Sawyer if you are a nurse that is your position. Why would you object to being addressed as such when you are at work? If you mean you dont like it when you are at Asda then I would see your point.

Quite a few people prefer some formality in a medical environment. It helps them feel secure. When you are intrusting your child's life to someone it helps to feel they are on the case and not being all laid back.

It is difficult for HCPs to get it right but its not impossible. There will always be some people who complain whatever you do but calling people foolish for expressing their valid opinion does not sound particularly open minded. I cant help thinking this would be a barrier to getting it 'right'

you're either very thick, sawyer, or you haven't read the thread.

so rude to address someone else as thick aitch. just because you dont like a response

nice

Do you really, seriously think that a nurse calling you mum makes that much bloody difference when you are frantically worried about your child?

I can tell you it makes fuck all difference. Do you really think that when your child is fitting, bleeding, in shock or hysterical we think 'oh I do feel better now that nurse called me mum'?

What we want is for someone to care for our child, talk to us like we are adults and tell us clearly and honestly what is going on.

I do not see why you are so determined that 'mum' is such a good idea despite the majority on this thread (and the other recent one) saying otherwise.

lol, sm. so glad that you're here to keep me right on matters of etiquette.

she is either thick or she hasn't read the thread. i don't know which.

This debate reminds me of a thread a few years ago where someone was insisting that it was OK to call black people coloured because she didn?t mean to offend them. When several black posters came on and said that they preferred to be called black, she insisted that she had the right to call them coloured and they were unreasonable for wanting something else. It is perfect example of bad manners and anyone who persists in doing it is either very badly brought up or is deliberately rude for a reason (and yes I agree with Aitch et al and the BMA on this, we?re all conspiracy theorists together). I don?t understand why so many people are in favour of this kind of discourtesy.

And I am not Mum I am Mummy.

and she does keep calling me foolish...

(God I sound like Xenia on that last line )

err no, I actually think she is just a bit hurt that she is trying to do her best and has been slagged off, really.

But I agree one should learn from the thread and take people's feelings into consideration once one KNOWS that people object to being called "mum".

i'm mumma, mama, mummy, aitch or muuuu-uuuuuuum. actually i'm rarely mum, now that i come to think of it.