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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed that my cleaner made herself a cuppa?

544 replies

kwaker5 · 19/08/2009 20:01

Have had a cleaner for about 8 weeks. On first visit I offered her a cuppa as I was having one but she declined and said she always brought her own drinks with her [pointed to cool bag].

I usually let her in and clear off with the DCs while she's there but last week I came back a bit earlier than normal and noticed she'd made herself a brew.

I'm not really pissed off but it's niggling at me. Isn't there and unwritten rule that they shouldn't go in your cupboards/drawers?

OP posts:
stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 11:41

don't be ridiculous orm

people ask questions about all sorts of things

she's not starting from anything.. she's asking what other people think and she got jumped by people who think they are better than her rather than trying to help

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 11:42

unless YOU want to make an assumption about her

oh I forgot -- you guys already have

OrmIrian · 20/08/2009 11:47

I beg your pardon for being ridiculous

kittywise · 20/08/2009 11:47

cups of tea and coffee on tap?

If you are cleaning you are moving around. If you are making cups of tea and then drinking them you are not cleaning, that much is obvious. If you are thirsty and have a bottle of water to hand then a drink takes seconds.

I pay my cleaner to clean. Not drink cups of tea.

The cleaner I had for 4 years went on to other cleaning jobs when she finished mine. She would sit in the kitchen and eat her packed lunch before she went on to the next job.
So she had her food and drink BETWEEN jobs, not during them. If she was thirsty she would take a quick drink of water
She is coming round this afternoon, she is now a good friend, I shall ask her what she thinks about cleaners making themselves cups of tea. I suspect she will be somewhat' suprised.'

NonGratisAnusDailyMail · 20/08/2009 11:53

And the vast majority of posters have said that they believe the OP is BU. I think stuffit only you and kitty have actually agreed with her (can't be bothered to now trawl through 7 pages of posts to double check that). It is the nature of the internet forum to make some assumptions based on a poster's OP as the full facts are not always forthcoming.

1st week cleaner went to house she was asked if she wanted a cup of tea. She said no. 8th week cleaner went to house, she made herself a cup of tea. Big fucking deal. I will either make my cleaners a cup of tea or they help themselves. I don't much care. I do not keep anything personal in my kitchen drawers. No vibrators, no personal love letters, nothing incrimiating (although I did leave out a speeding notice the other day ). If they rooted through my bedside cabinet I would have something to say about it.

NonGratisAnusDailyMail · 20/08/2009 11:54
MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 11:55

Good grief, kitty.

kittywise · 20/08/2009 12:01

good grief what exactly?

Nothing I have said is outrageous at all.

If you have a sedentary desk job then perhaps you can swig tea and coffee all day long and spend hours on the loo.
But probably you should drink them on you tea and coffee breaks because that is what they are there for surely?

If you have a physical job then you have tea breaks.

The attitudes on this thread are really very strange.

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 12:01

Sorry was not supposed to post that. I couldn't be arsed to argue with someone who thinks making a cup of tea is such a waste of her precious time and money.

NGADM has explained it succintly without having to resort to pettiness

duchesse · 20/08/2009 12:02

Ok, Kitty, you are coming across as being really quite addled. I should stop now if I were you.

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 12:03

And as OhBling asked - do you have a job? Have you ever had a job?!

simplesusan · 20/08/2009 12:04

I wish I had a cleaner.

kittywise · 20/08/2009 12:04

No, I come across as sane. I find the mindset here incomprehensible.

OhBling · 20/08/2009 12:05

I'm guessing your cleaners are also absolutely religious about working the exact 3 hours or whatever you pay them for and do nothing extra ever?

My cleaner on the other hand, spontaneously decided the walls needed cleaning and worked her way over the entire house over a period of weeks. She also, when coming while we were on holiday, decided that as she didn' thave as much as normal to do, would tidy and clean inside all the kitchen cupboards.

I have countless other examples...!

kittywise · 20/08/2009 12:13

I've had a mixture.

It's great when you have a cleaner who is diligent about her work

NonGratisAnusDailyMail · 20/08/2009 12:13

By kittywise on Thu 20-Aug-09 12:04:59
No, I come across as sane.

In your mind Kitty, in your mind. If you keep saying that often enough it might even come true

kittywise · 20/08/2009 12:17

I'm a full time mum.

Yes I have worked, I used to teach. I seem to remember I had my tea and coffee during the tea and coffee breaks.

We also paid for them by contributing to the tea/ coffee biccie fund, they weren't 'on tap' and provided for by the local education authority!

I don't remember nipping off to have a cuppa half way through a lesson. If I was thirsty I drank the juice/ whatever I had on my desk.

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:20

I think the crime here is that the op has a cleaner. Which seems to be have set everyone against her.

loobylu3 · 20/08/2009 12:20

I would hope that someone coming regularly to clean my house (for 8 weeks) would feel comfortable enough to make themselves a cup of tea.
Kitty, I find your attitude quite shocking! I can't understand why it is unreasonable for someone coming to clean (which is a physically demanding job) to have a cup of tea 'on the go' or have a quick break for one. I certainly would if I was doing 3 or 4 hours of cleaning and why would I treat anyone else differently? I think it is very poor manners not to offer a drink to someone regularly working in your house or encourage them to make one themselves.
It is amazing that, inspite of everyone disagreeing with you, you still feel that you are in the right!!
I feel very fortunate to be able to afford a cleaner and appreciate that they do a job for me in the same way that I like to be appreciated by my own employers.

kittywise · 20/08/2009 12:21

yes, that's true, it always makes people see red.

kittywise · 20/08/2009 12:22

no, I still think I am right. You don't have to have a cup of tea. if you are thirsty then drink, why does it have to be a cup of tea?

duchesse · 20/08/2009 12:23

I have a cleaner. She is fantastic and I certainly would never dream of rationing her tea and coffee intake. She cleans our entire large house top to bottom in four hours. I'm hardly going to begrudge a 57 yr old woman a couple of sit downs in that time. No jealousy involved in my response whatsoever thankyouverymuch. Just very grateful that for the paltry sum she requests she does such a great job.

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:24

Kitty's attitude is that of a normal employer towards a normal employee.

It's the same, higher or lower up the ladder.

But somehow people feel so guilty about the whole cleaner thing it's almost patronising how exceptions are made to the normal practices of working life.

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 12:26

Ummm. I've been a cleaner and I've employed a cleaner.

Nice that kitty and stuffit have found kindred spirits though.

Try sniffing your toothbrushes...

duchesse · 20/08/2009 12:27

The point you are both missing is that normal in normal jobs do have breaks and sit downs. And Kitty, you may not have felt able to take your tea into lessons with you (maybe you taught tinies?) but secondary school teachers certainly do- I often took my coffee back to the classroom with me and still do in my present outside job. I fail to see the difference between your example of drinking water on the go vs drinking tea or coffee on the go, which my cleaner does.

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