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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed that my cleaner made herself a cuppa?

544 replies

kwaker5 · 19/08/2009 20:01

Have had a cleaner for about 8 weeks. On first visit I offered her a cuppa as I was having one but she declined and said she always brought her own drinks with her [pointed to cool bag].

I usually let her in and clear off with the DCs while she's there but last week I came back a bit earlier than normal and noticed she'd made herself a brew.

I'm not really pissed off but it's niggling at me. Isn't there and unwritten rule that they shouldn't go in your cupboards/drawers?

OP posts:
skihorse · 20/08/2009 10:27

kitty Do you actually have a job? People do drink when they work you know. What the hell do you think those diet-coke break ads were all about?

SoupDragon · 20/08/2009 10:31

It's one fucking cup of tea. Get a grip.

OrmIrian · 20/08/2009 10:32

What has 'need' go to do with it. If you want a comfortable relationship with your cleaner - and lets face it why wouldn't you when she is in your house so often - you need to make her feel at home. And allowing her to make a cup of tea is a good way of doing that. If she is getting her job done in 2hrs 50 mins why shouldn't she use the 10 mins to have a drink in the last 10? If she isn't doing her job properly that is another matter but has got nothing to do with tea.

skihorse · 20/08/2009 10:37

It's hilarious really - what a social climber!

OrmIrian · 20/08/2009 10:40

Hark at me talking about cleaners like I have wide experience of them Only ones I've ever had were friends who needed some extra cash and were more likely to share a glass or two with me. Sod the tea!

TheDMshouldbeRivened · 20/08/2009 10:41

shocking. What will workers want next? The chocolate hobnobs?

SwedesandTurnips · 20/08/2009 10:45

I always buy my cleaner a pkt of Tena Lady for her birthday so she doesn't have to waste time going to the loo on my time.

skihorse · 20/08/2009 10:47

I wonder if this ever-so-gracious employer pays tax, NI, holiday & sickness? Sounds like a wonderful place to work.

swedesandturnips Well I let a tradesman use the toilet once - FOUR squares of paper I tell you. I paid him to fix my pipes - not lay them!

OtterInaSkoda · 20/08/2009 11:01

YABU - but not quite as U as some of these responses

I get the impression that kraker5 hasn't had a cleaner before, particularly when she asks "Isn't there and unwritten rule that they shouldn't go in your cupboards/drawers?". Now she's been told in no uncertain terms that it's OK for a cleaner to go into your kitchen cupbourds I'm sure she'll be feeling fully un-annoyed and probably a little mean. And will leave a selection of fine teas and pastries out for her cleaner's enjoyment.

ClaudiaSchiffer · 20/08/2009 11:03

Hilarious thread!

Come back OP you've gotta admit you over reacted just a teensy bit surely?

I had a totally over-zealous cleaner once (normally a good trait for a cleaner) she used to polish the floor at the bottom of our stairs to a high shine with the Mr Sheen causing it to slip like an ice rink - cue me 8 months pregnant dashing downstairs in my socks to head off to work. Wheeeeeeee . . . BANG!

I did have to have a little word after that incident.

kittywise · 20/08/2009 11:09

I've had cleaners for years. The only one who used to help herself to tea was a lazy mare.

All the others have bought water with them to drink or have got water from the tap.

No a good cleaner is NOT doing you a favour. she is a good cleaner and is PAID to do it and yes they are hard to come by but cups of tea are NOT a neccessity.

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 11:11

oh for heavens sake

how long is she in your house? if two hours then she shouldn't stop for a tea break but might have a cup of tea on the go

does she clean inside the cupboards? also relevant

obviously you are not being mean about the tea bag and milk as some have suggested

your house is not her house

put a cup out with a tea bag in it for her next time and say this is if you want a cup of tea on the go

but two hours is not long enough for a tea break anyway

OhBling · 20/08/2009 11:13

Kitty - do you have a job? I have never worked anywhere where at least some form of tea or coffee was offered on tap whenever I wanted it - admittedly, often very bad tea or coffee because it comes out of a machine but still. Ditto water - most offices have water coolers with purified water. This is a normal way to employ someone.

I pay my cleaner and agree, she's there to do a job. But I get paid too and I consider it perfectly normal that my employer provides tea, coffee or water as I need it.

and 3 hours is quite long actually. I work bloody hard but I doubt I ever sit at my desk for three straight hours without a short break to have a chat, read a personal email, go to the loo etc.

OP YABVU. As for the unwritten drawer rule - actually, no I don't think there is. My cleaner puts things away so goes into cupboards in the kitchen all the time and I'd expect her to do the same in the bedrooms if she was doing clothes. I would imagine any unwritten laws apply at best to areas like desks etc. Not household goods and clothing.

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 11:15

my employer never provided tea or coffee

yanbu, everyone is being judgey beyond belief

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 11:16

ffs - Do you think she just cleans one house a day??

It's a cup of tea not a faberge egg.

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 11:18

i am assuming it's not the actual cup of tea that's the issue

it's someone helping themselves at someone else's house when they haven't been invited to

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 11:19

in other words, a boundaries issue

isn't that obvious? or are people deliberately reducing the issue to miserliness because then it's easier to point the finger?

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 11:20
Hmm
stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 11:21

what does that mean? is there something you don't understand and are unable to articulate?

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 11:24

Aha, personal insults!

If you look at the smiley descriptions it means 'sceptical'

But hey, I don't want to waste my time replying to someone who has to insult me.

'k?

OrmIrian · 20/08/2009 11:26

Yes I think we all get that it's boundaries. Of course it is. But most of us I think consider objecting to the cleaner making a cup of tea is setting the boundaries in the wrong place. She was offered a cuppa the first time, she assumed it was OK on the next occasion she wanted one.

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 11:27

personal insults? it was three questions

heaven knows what there is to be sceptical about.. someone holding a different opinion perhaps?

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 11:28

so why are you all jumping on the op? she's not too mean to offer.. she's just finding her way

OhBling · 20/08/2009 11:29

Nicely said Orm.

OrmIrian · 20/08/2009 11:32

Why do she need to find her way though stuffit? It's just not a big deal. Why not be guided by the cleaner herself who may more experienced? Unless she is going to start from the assumption that the cleaner is out to rip her off in some way. If she doesn't like it, that's fine, but if she was sure she wouldn't be canvassion opinion on here.

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