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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed that my cleaner made herself a cuppa?

544 replies

kwaker5 · 19/08/2009 20:01

Have had a cleaner for about 8 weeks. On first visit I offered her a cuppa as I was having one but she declined and said she always brought her own drinks with her [pointed to cool bag].

I usually let her in and clear off with the DCs while she's there but last week I came back a bit earlier than normal and noticed she'd made herself a brew.

I'm not really pissed off but it's niggling at me. Isn't there and unwritten rule that they shouldn't go in your cupboards/drawers?

OP posts:
stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:28

You know what? The op wanted help. Now people are coming forward with experiences. And discussions of give and take.

Now that would have been much more helpful from the beginning than "FFS it's a cup of tea not a faberge egg, tightarse, what a wind up, how petty are you" blah blah blah.

So at least you have had to think about it instead of knee jerking with your gavels.

NonGratisAnusDailyMail · 20/08/2009 12:30

Perhaps she just felt like a cup of tea kitty? It is hardly the crime of the century.

stuffitlllama - I think you are quite misplaced in your feeling that posters who disagree with you and the OP are somehow jealous. I disagreed and earlier commented how I have two cleaners

In life, in general, one needs to build relationships with people. They may be your bank manager, they may be your cleaner. Regardless, it doesn't hurt (indeed, it does a great deal of good, especially for one's soul) to be polite, courteous and friendly. If that means offering someone who regularly visits your house, in whatever capacity, a cup of tea, then it can only be for the good.

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 12:30

Calm down dear you're in AIBU

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:30

morningtown there you are with your assumptions again

what a lovely cleaner you must have been

kittywise · 20/08/2009 12:34

duchesse, the difference I see is that if you are on a break and make a cuppa in your break time then that's fine of course and if you take a cuppa back into work with you then that'sok too.
Yes I used to take me tea back into the classroom!
But to stop and make a cup of tea when you are not on a break is not ok.

If you have a cleaner and decide that she has a break time during her working hours then I don't see a problem with making a cup of tea. But if she is supposed to be working for 3 hours then I do see that as a problem.
She can have her tea afterwards. It's hardly going to be a case of death by lack of cup of tea.

Now I once had a cleaner who couldn't go more than half an hour without nipping into the garden for a few drags on a ciggie. Would you say that was ok?

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 12:36

Assumptions?? Where??

Good point NGADM. Simple manners really.

Rebeccaj · 20/08/2009 12:42

I have a wonderful cleaner; she has been cleaning for us for 7 years. I have always said from the beginning, make yourself tea/coffee etc; sometimes she does, sometimes not. She has to go through my cupboards to put stuff away, empty the dishwasher, etc, so it makes no difference!

And maybe she's not legally entitled to a tea break; however, any employer who only provides the legal minimum of anything isn't going to terribly popular. And a cleaner is an odd employee/employer relationship; it's hard for it to be at arms' length, as they are in your house! I always saw it as the polite, friendly thing to do. She's here for 3 hours, lugging the vacuum cleaner up and down three floors, bending up and down picking up the kid's toys, polishing the wooden floors etc; tiring stuff. If she would like a cuppa occasionally, I have no problem with that at all. When I go to a business meeting, I regularly get offered coffee and biscuits, despite it being "company time"!

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:43

your assumption that I'm not a good employer

actually I am a very good employer, and very respectful, fair and generous

NetworkGuy · 20/08/2009 12:43

Blimey - what vitriol.

I guess it is down to someone saying one thing and doing another, a trust issue.

We don't know if she has been making tea and exploring cupboards throughout the whole house for the last 8 weeks.

The original poster has indicated it is a temporary situation because of an operation, and this just went past her comfort zone.

I say give her a break - she may have been a bit unreasonable but one can see how women are sometimes said to be rather bitchy if you glance through the many negative comments...

Sure, it seems a little OTT but no need for so much f*ing abuse

skihorse · 20/08/2009 12:44

kitty/stuffit are the same person? Now THAT IBU (and lame).

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:46

is anybody seriously suggesting that?

is our point of view so astonishing that nobody imagines more than one person could hold it?

what balderdash

loobylu3 · 20/08/2009 12:47

Exactly non gratis, it's about building relationships with people and a little bit of give and take.
Kitty, you were fortunate enough to have tea/ coffee breaks in your job as a teacher. However, you obviously you do not allow your cleaner a tea break. Popping out regularly for cigarettes is totally different. I wouldn't allow anyone to smoke in or outside my house either.
This is about showing a bit of decency to employees. You seem to feel that everyone wants to take advantage of you.

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:48

rofl at the lessons in life from non gratis

OrmIrian · 20/08/2009 12:49

hey louby "You seem to feel that everyone wants to take advantage of you. " That's what I said. But apparently I was being ridiculous

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:51

I meant you were being ridiculous about her posting here with her question

the assumption I questioned as well, but that's not what the ridiculous comment was about

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 12:51

I have no idea if you are a good employer, stuffit or indeed if you are an employer at all.

Where exactly have I suggested you are bad?

kittywise · 20/08/2009 12:51

What's the difference between tea and coffee breaks and having a ciggie?
The ciggie takes less time than the tea break.

Someone working 3 hours as a cleaner does not need a break. It's only three hours fhs!!

loobylu3 · 20/08/2009 12:53

Orm, that is how the remarks come across to me too! Perhaps we are both ridiculous! .

hocuspontas · 20/08/2009 12:54

I only do about 20 mins housework before I crave a tea break. I can't imagine what 3 hours is like.

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:56

your comment "try sniffing your toothbrushes" took me there

I can only imagine it to mean that in your experience, a cleaner expresses her dislike of a poor employer by using their toothbrushes to clean their toilet

as you were suggesting that our toothbrushes may have been used in this way, it is only a short hop to the conclusion that you think we have staff who have done this because they dislike us

is there another explanation? have you forgotten that you wrote that?

MorningTownRide · 20/08/2009 12:56

No, you're ridiculous, no you're ridiculous, no you, you.

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/08/2009 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kittywise · 20/08/2009 12:58

I guess my cleaner of 4 years who is coming round this afternoon on a social visit, really resented not having tea breaks.
She had a good work ethic though and wasn't looking for excuses to stop work and park her backside and I know what her answer will be to this thread.

NonGratisAnusDailyMail · 20/08/2009 12:58

stuffitlllama, tbh it sounds very much as if you could do with some...firstly to put things into perspective. A cup of tea when working is no big deal. Secondly, I have always found you tend to be treated as you treat others. You may wish to consider that in future

stuffitlllama · 20/08/2009 12:59

sorry what are you talking about

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