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to not understand why so many poor people... PART 2

1000 replies

nybom · 10/08/2009 11:59

As things have calmed down a little now, despite DH getting involved , I will try and explain once more what I meant to express by OP.

It boils down to:

I have noticed that in this society a lot of money is spent unwisely/for luxuries and increasingly so. This does indeed occur, as many of you have pointed out, regardless of level of income, throughout the social stratum. What I don't understand is, how the very poor people spend/are able to spend money on luxuries whilst compromising on the basic requirements (such as nutritious food for their children). The examples I mentioned were from my circle of friends, not generalisations.

I was bringing up examples from poor people because if a wealthy person fritters his income away for luxuries it doesn?t affect basic requirements such as food, (at least I have never ever come across anybody), however if you don't have any money to spend, it does.

Before you get enraged, I'm not addressing poor people as a whole, I don?t mean disabled people or people with poor health (mental or physical), nor people made redundant, nor women (or men) left by their partners, or any one else who unexpectedly and by now fault of his or her own has got him- or herself into that situation. Neither do I mean poor people who indulge themselves with their own saved money or money given to them by someone else.

I don't think it is fair that MNs stereotype "the rich", and have a go at them. But how dare anyone say anything negative about "the poor". That is hypocritical.

I only listed how I spend my money to demonstrate that it can be done, not to say how ?great? I am. If I can do it anybody can.

Please don?t make any assumptions what I do or not do in RL to actively help make things better and support people in need...
And I have a great life, thank you, and not a boring one, either. But curiosity is human nature (just look at the topics of women?s magazines, don?t any of you buy those?), and if you walk through life with open eyes, you just notices things. Also, my academic background is in sociology, so I have a genuine interest in wanting to understand why people do what they do. No finger pointing or accusing intended.

Finally, I?d like to respond to some specific points which have been repeatedly been raised:

RE car engine: it is an absolute myth that it is cheaper to leave the engine on rather than turn it off and on again a short while later (ask any car mechanic). In some countries you risk a fine if you don?t turn your engine off at (certain) traffic lights/road works! They?re not doing that for the sake of it. It?s just unnecessary pollution and a waist of money! It is not a matter of ?treating yourself? if the husband waits in the car with running engine and the wife goes shopping in a supermarket (and it is not extremely cold or hot (aircon))! It?s just stupid. I don?t imply you should turn your engine off at stop and go traffic jams, but those where you come to a standstill, where after 2 or 3 minutes of nothing happening it would be wise to turn the engine off (even if you had to turn it on again in 1 minute it would save money). Same with ?popping in? at shops/dropping friend of etc...

RE kids parties: there?s nothing wrong with kids parties per se! Of course it's nice to create something fun for them. But why have branded accessories right down to the bags the kids take home? Again, extra expenditures and extra waste. A nice party isn?t made nice by spending loads! A (simple) selfmade cake (not one of those branded one with loads of artificial colouring, ugh), and a couple of party games is all the children need to be really really HAPPY. The bags are thrown away, as are most of the contents, it is cheeper and easier to use kitchen towel or plastic bags for sandwhiches plus you can choose what you put in the bags.

RE cut fruit: It is still absolutely beyond me why you would spend twice as much money (or more) for precut fruit (not tins!) if you could easily cut it yourself, particulary if you are poor and only have a 5 pound shopping budget.

The UK has become a very materialistic society (but that is a different topic), maybe I just recognise it more as I?m from a different cultural background.

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 12/08/2009 12:52

Well if you have already asked them these questions, then surely you already have your answer, and straight from the horses mouth!

so why bother to ask again on here? your a strange one arent you

itsalwaysthequietones · 12/08/2009 12:53

hi nybom,

Any response to my questions? I'm genuinely interested because I think they have a bearing on what you are saying.

You mention the conversations with RL friends about this - so what were their explanations for their spending choices? They obviously haven't answered your questions otherwise you presumably wouldn't be posting on here? You said you were eager to understand why people do what they do but despite all these honest discussions that no-one was offended by you've had with them you still don't seem to have got the response you are looking for.

itsalwaysthequietones · 12/08/2009 12:54

sorry curiosity - xpost. Racist?

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 12:57

itsalwaysthequietones - because we want to know her country of origin. That is racism. Apparently.

Stayingsunnygirl · 12/08/2009 13:00

Nybom - please answer the question about which chronic illnesses are caused by formula feeding. People are worrying about it.

itsalwaysthequietones · 12/08/2009 13:01

Right, I see. Curious that she saw fit to bring it up herself as reason for her views then. I guess I'm not going to get an answer from nybom am I? Think I'll shuffle back to my work

ElieRM · 12/08/2009 13:02

everythingis- it was fine thank you! dd slept well, poor little sausage was exhausted. and is feeding well today thank you for asking.
curiosity- nybom has ignored your 12.41 post. probably because it's too difficult to answer.

Portofino · 12/08/2009 13:03

Are you by any chance German, nybom?

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 13:08

elie - glad your dd is fine. I found when my DC they had their injections they were not very sick but felt rubbishy enough to be all nice and cuddly for a couple of days.

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 13:09

portofino - lol, I would love to guess if it wouldn't get me called racist!

everythingistaken · 12/08/2009 13:10

happy to hear that elieRM

ElieRM · 12/08/2009 13:10

ooh yes! it's quite nice for me as well because she just wants mummy atm. poor dp won't get a look in when he gets in from work...

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 13:11

elie - just wanted to make sure nybom had seen it

Portofino · 12/08/2009 13:12

Is it racist to ask if someone is German?

itsalwaysthequietones · 12/08/2009 13:12

ooh wait, I can't concentrate on my work until I know the answer to stayingsunny's FF question! come on nybom - back into the ring please

ElieRM · 12/08/2009 13:13

curiosity- selective sight, perhaps?

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 13:20

portofino - maybe, nybom will be able to tell us when she returns

scattykatty · 12/08/2009 13:25

I'll be totally honest and say that I would be quite upset if she turns out to be German as I have lived in Germany for 2 years and have found German's to be very accepting of all different lifestyle choices.

Nybom is just one of those people in life who takes pleasure from making people less fortunate than herself feel diminished and huniliated. She feels the need to judge people so she can feel superior.

I find her attitudes to be bigoted and offensive. Lets be honest here, who would rather children had chopped fruit or chocolate? I would much rather fruit, and yes, it sometimes is easier to give children prepared fruit on the go, I wonder if she has tried shopping while de-seeding a melon

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 13:27

scattykatty - maybe she has 'people' do de-seed her melons for her?

VinegarTits · 12/08/2009 13:28

I think mynob is just attention seeking, i have noticed she only posts when the thread goes a bit quite, then she will post something inflamatory, but she wont answer questions or post sensible replies, so my advice would be to hide this thread

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 13:28

*to

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 13:30

I want to fill the thread up. If she is stupid enough to start another I intend on asking MN to remove it.

curiositykilled · 12/08/2009 13:31

We've only got a few pages to go

ElieRM · 12/08/2009 13:33

i will also ask mn to remove it.

JemL · 12/08/2009 13:34

This is still going?!

I've just been reading back through the posts and quite a number of people, including nybom herself, are defending her by pointing out that she is only talking about people that she knows. If this is the case, why post in the first place? Why ask strangers to explain the motivations and lifestyle choices of people with whom who youare friendly enough to discuss this with frankly. It doesn't make sense!

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