to think that people who find out the sex of their baby during pregancy - but don't tell others what it is - are slightly egocentric?

[mhmummy]

After all, why should it be so important to anyone else? I'm talking about those people who get the scan done, and then tell you that they know what it is but they're not going to tell you. I mean, why should I CARE?

Same as the people who decide on a name tell you they've decided but not the name!!!

err, why should they tell you? what makes you so important?

YABU

I am glad I am not an expectant friend of yours with an attitude like that, mhmummy.

agree with wilkos, why should they tell you?

Don't agree with any of the above.... it's rude and annoying. How about if they want to keep it a secret say they don't know.

if anyones egocentric its you dear

YABU, You sound alot like someone who DOES care about the knowing the sex of the baby.
Their choice. This time round im choosing not to tell people my name choices.
Whats the big deal?

What business is it of yours? You say you don't care but clearly you do, or you'd have just shrugged it off rather than posting about it.

Why is it rude? It's an individual's choice to share the information with you. Just because they know doesn't mean they are obliged to share it with the world.

YABU. If you don't care then it won't bother you. It's none of your business.

I agree with wilkos (again)

Amazing... Will you be telling everyone you've decided but won't tell? I think it's a bit ner ner ner ner ner.

No that's my point - I don't expect them to tell me - I'd be delighted whether they had a girl or a boy!
What I'm saying is, why do they think it would be such a big suprise for me? I mean, it's their baby after all!
So find out - and don't tell people that you know what it is; or don't find out. I just don't get why it should be such a big deal for anyone else!

Mhmummy...Are you back tracking? because I was backing you......

Yes I will. I dont think its rude at all, what is in fact rude is telling people my name choice and them then thinking they can comment on it (previous pregnancy) so...
Im having a baby, I know the sex and I have a name chosen.
ner ner ner ner ner.

Well when my friend found out the sex of her baby i asked her not to tell me as i wanted it to be a surprise. She found that most family and friends didn't want to know either.

Her news, her business.

BTW its a girl and havent got a name set in stone.
God im crap at this!

Not at all nosyp in china - your ner ner ner ner ner post summed it up perfectly!!
And I didn't expect people to get angry/defensive about it either - it's a genuine question. Why should it matter SO much for any one else that you have to say to others "yes I know - but I can't tell you because that would spoil the suprise!"

I sort of understand this. Obviously, the parents are those closest to the unborn baby so if they know the sex, it seems odd to keep it a secret in a way but of course is their buiness if they do.

It is a bit 'our baby is the most exciting thing ever' which to be fair, to them, it is.

LOL Amazingbouncingferrit
and congratulations !

Amazing, I know what you mean...once baby is born and named only the VERY rude would make a negative comment about the name, however, while still in -utero some people just cant resist.

I personally couldnt keep the sex a secret, too many people ask. But the people that ask DO seem genuinely excited about it, so then it does matter to them.
Im going round in circles here, I think im having a sugar rush from the buttercream in my fairy cakes.

We didn't tell anyone the sex or name of DC1, and BLOODY HELL they didn't half go on about it. I was interrogated by MIL every fecking time I saw her. It was a pain in the arse, and clearly was a big deal to her (and others). I was baffled by their determination, but still didn't see why I was obliged to tell everyone.

We kept the sex secret as there were some members of our families who wanted it to be a surprise on the day, which was fine by us, but obviously meant that we had to keep it under our hats even around those who wanted to know.

well, we know the gender of ours (kind of), and happily told everyone, whereupon most of my family got annoyed that we'd found out AND that we'd told them, telling us we have to keep it a secret. So we've chosen a name, and we're keeping that a secret (mainly because I'm convinced I'll waver about 3 minutes after he's born and want to change it!), and now the same family members are telling us we're spoilsports for not telling them.

Basically, it's our choice, and I no longer give a crap what everyone else thinks. And we can't win anyway. Everybody does things slightly differently, and we're not harming anyone with our decision, just annoying them, which IMO is a great reason to do it .

I totally agree with you, OP. DH and I have commented on this very thing.
It's like opening your Christmas presents and not telling anyone what you got.