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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to enjoy wine every night?

218 replies

barnsleybelle · 25/07/2009 17:49

Been to a football gala today with ds and got involved in a discussion about drinking.
I probably drink at least 2 glasses of wine every night. Sometimes half bottle sometimes full.
DH works away so my nights when dcs are in bed are my time. I look forward to my wine.
Anyway equal amounts of mums at the gala either agreed with me or were horrified.
What's the general opinion on here i wonder???

OP posts:
Snorbs · 25/07/2009 21:13

I'm concerned that so many sheeple blindly buy into the myth that the best way to relax and/or have a good time is by drinking.

I know that the alcohol industry spend millions every year on advertising that promotes that idea, but it would be nice if people first asked the hows and whys of where that myth came from.

Original poster
barnsleybelle · 25/07/2009 21:15

qwert Actually i don't think deep down i'm drinking too much tbh. I posted as during a discussion with friends today i was interested in the fact that some thought it was too much whereas some drank the same.
I just wondered what the honest mumsnetters thought about it.

I was very interested in the link someone provided as to not drinking each week for 2 consecutive nights to allow the liver time to recover. This advise i will take.
I honestly can't remember the last time i had a drink in the afternoon and i never crave alcohol.
Good for you though for changing things that you wern't comfortable with.

OP posts:
pointydog · 25/07/2009 21:17

if you have lots of wine every night, how do you know you don't crave it? Genuine question, I'm not trying to be smart

Original poster
barnsleybelle · 25/07/2009 21:24

pointy fair point, but I have explained earlier that if i've no wine in the house it really doesn't bother me and i just don't have any. If it's the end of the month and money is tight that month then it just doesn't get bought. If i have to be up early to drive somewhere then i don't have any.

In general though i do have wine every night if it's there.

OP posts:
CloudDragon · 25/07/2009 21:35

You drink too much. It may or may not cause you health problems in the future.

Up to you whether it is worth the risk.

I definately drink too much. And am in the process of trying to cut down.

Original poster
barnsleybelle · 25/07/2009 21:47

Well looking at the big picture. I eat a very healthy diet and i exercise 3-4 times a week formally as well as walking everywhere i can plus cycling with ds beside me and dd in the seat on my bike. (which is hard work believe me)

I suppose, yes i am happy to take the risk cloud, just like someone who is overweight and/or eating crap every day with no exercise takes similar health risks. {wink].
The above comment being one i wished i'd been brave enough to say to a couple of people at the footy match today

OP posts:
CloudDragon · 25/07/2009 21:52

That is realy true. It's if you're over weight and unfit AND drink too much

you've got to worry!

OldieButGoldie · 25/07/2009 22:27

Here here Expat.

From reading the whole thread it appears that where people ended up with a problem their drinking was escalating. This is something I always keep an eye on. I do drink over the government guidelines but my level of drinking has remained steady for years and I don't feel it is causing me any problems.

Cheers

cutekids · 25/07/2009 22:40

hi...soooo with you on the "me time" thing.
and....soooo with you on the bottle of wine thingy too..Just moderate yourself with what you feel comfortable with without going over that barrier and just"relax"without going over the top Don't feel guilty...just be careful.

SomeGuy · 26/07/2009 02:50

We (at least the 'indigenous population') are somewhat evolved to drink BEER, which was brewed as a means of providing a sanitary liquid to drink. So I do. I had a bottle of Leffe Blonde (2 units) today, and some stronger Belgian beer yesterday (about 3.5 units). Sometimes I'll have two.

It's obviously completely healthy and normal.

canttouchthis · 26/07/2009 10:46

Snorbs that's a valid point you've made. Why does drinking have to be the way to relax? What's wrong with other forms of relaxation that don't cost anything and cause no harm to your body, but actually benefit you??

There are loads out there. Sex is a good one for starters...then there's yoga and self-hypnosis, watching TV or taking up a hobby to relax...could go on...

It is fascinating why people all jump on the band-wagon and feel that drinking makes you feel better, makes you so relaxed when there are so many other ways to just chill out in the evening.

SolidGoldBrass · 26/07/2009 11:00

Snorbs: if a person's drinking is making them aggressive (or stupidly disinhibited ie dancing naked on the table at the office party and then doing similar things every week) then, again, that's a person with a drink problem. Basically, someone's drinking is a problem when it's a problem, if a person is functioning fine, not overspending and relationships with others are not being damaged, then the drinking is not a problem - and not anyone else's business.

LaDiDaDi · 26/07/2009 11:09

Interesting OP.

I was really worried about dp when he was drinking a similar amount but I felt that it realy compromised our family life.
He's cut down massively and I feel soo much happier and more positive towards him and about our relationship.

I'm pregnant now and really missing the bottle of wine that I used to drink over the course of a week most weeks. I've often found that I miss alcohol most when I can't have it for whatever reason. Does this mean that I crave it more than I'd like to think even though overall I'm a very moderate drinker?

Personally I think that you (OP) are drinking to a degree that is likely to have a negative impact on your health if you continue and for that reason I would cut down now.

sunfleurs · 26/07/2009 12:14

It is the links to cancers, especially breast cancer that scares me. Apparently risk goes up by 7% per drink you have on a daily basis.

Not only that but alcohol affects your state of mind, I know for a fact that I have less patience with my dc the day after a couple of drinks even if I don't feel hungover. Obviously it would be like that every day without me even realising it if I had a drink every night. Not fair on them because I like to get a nice buzz from a couple of spritzers each evening.

Not to mention the expense of drinking the equivalent of 3 - 4 bottles of wine a week.

Oh I could go on. I am not anti alcohol as such but the negatives for me just so far out weigh the positives.

idranktheteaatwork · 26/07/2009 12:32

Saying it is ok because you only drink it if it is in the fridge is a bit of a misnomer in my eyes.
It doesn't magically appear in the fridge, you have to buy it first, and if you've bought it you then drink it every night until it's gone and you buy some more.

It is too much in my opinion. Also, someone can appear to be functioning fine and not have any problems with aggression etc etc but they can still have an issue with alchohol and even more importantly have been drinking enough to have damaged their health.

You said "at least two glasses" every evening. As someone else said a home measure is not the same as a pub measure, that is a large amount of alchohol each week to be taking in.

suis · 26/07/2009 12:41

I'm a bit bothered by the idea that you can drink a bottle of wine (which could be up to 12 units) and not be at all drunk. The driving limit is only 1 unit, and that's based on hard evidence that more than that affects judgement and reactions, so if you are having 12 sometimes it's got to be doing something (you wouldn't drink if it didn't have some effect)...

Suppose one of your DC had an accident or got sick through the night (no fault of yours) and you had to call a doc or go to A&E and there you were smelling of drink or appearing to be affected by it, the social workers would be all over you in a flash...

Greenmillie · 26/07/2009 12:44

i can drink a bottle of wine easily, when kids are in bed. I am aware though that if I am pissed alone with three kids I am putting them in danger, what if fall into a very deep sleep and there's a fire? or one of the kids becomes ill and Iam pixilatedand need to taek them to the hospital. If I had my way I would love to get drunk several times a week as the escapism is wonderful after a days hard graft.

I think it's not uncommon for most people to exceed the Govt. limits but if it is compromising you or your loved ones in anyway then it is a problem. I have been making efforts to seriously cut back on my drinking as its just an easy escape from my worries (I sterted drinking nightly after my brother committed suicide two years ago).

If I am honest with my self its like a dysfunctional lover who i adore but is no good for me and my family. I would like to stop completely.

Anyway chin chin... if it feels like a might be a problem then it probably is. If your cool with it and not doing it to excess everynight then go with it.xxxx

Greenmillie · 26/07/2009 12:46

funny me and suis raised the same concern simultaineously.

Hormonesnomore · 26/07/2009 14:20

When my children were small I rarely had a drink as I always wanted to be sober & alert in case they needed me in an emergency. I also couldn't have afforded to drink much.

Now they're grown up, I have 1 or 2 small glasses of wine most evenings. I couldn't drink half a bottle without suffering a really bad hangover (just as well really, otherwise I would probably carry on & finish it).

shinyshoes · 26/07/2009 14:44

I can quite easily (and do) drink a bottle of wine to myself.

I do this about 3 times a week.

I tend to have one day off one day on. Maybe two days off and one day on. Works out about 3 bottles. I try not to exceed this as I know how easily it can creep up on me. Sometimes I open a bottle have a glass and don't want anymore. This does happen but not often I like wine I'd prefer to drink wine at night than a cup of tea when the kids are in bed and I'm watching tv.

Original poster
barnsleybelle · 26/07/2009 14:50

To the person who suggested that i had to be drunk after a bottle i will answer you. You based your drunkeness comment based on drink drving levels. This has nothing to do with drink driving. I do not and never have drove a car after having had even one drink. If i do drink a full bottle it's likely to have been over the period of 5 hours during which time i will have had my dinner too. I assure you i am not drunk. I've got friends who become loud and silly after one glass of wine, everyone is different.
And yes, it probably doesn't affect me as quickly as my body is used to it, just the same as i don't ache after a 15 mile bike ride because my body is used to it.
Also, i never feel rough which is probably because i eat extrememly healthily and exercise plenty.
To sunfleurs... just because you are impatient with your dcs after a couple of glasses of wine, doesn't mean everyone else is.
To cantouchthis... i never said it was my only way to relax... just one of them. Also when i have ever said that drinking "makes me feel better"????? I have a wine because i enjoy it not to feel better. I have nothing i need to feel better about...

OP posts:
LaDiDaDi · 26/07/2009 16:12

barnsleybelle, can I ask why you would never drive after one drink yet you feel that you are not drunk after a bottle of wine? Is it just the legal implications of being caught whilst over the driving limit that stop you if you feel genuinely unimpaired? I find it diffcult to believe that you would not be drunk, ie functionally impaired due to alcohol, after drinking one whole bottle of approx. 10 units although I can accept that you might not be passed out and utterly incapable as I would be.

Greenmillie · 26/07/2009 16:26

Thank you Barnsley-belle for raising this important issue. I feel that we all need to be aware of how tempting intoxicants can be. But addiction is born from personality type and need, some people can take it or leave it and some like me go through periods of dependancy. I read clearly that you are not getting blotto every night and no one is being hurt. Well done on your honesty! You made me think for sure x I wonder how much the Dads are drinkling down at the football club?

expatinscotland · 26/07/2009 16:49

'I find it diffcult to believe that you would not be drunk, ie functionally impaired due to alcohol, after drinking one whole bottle of approx. 10 units '

How do you find that hard to believe? For all we know, the OP is 6ft. tall and weighs 20st.

When I was at my worst I was definitely not drunk after an entire bottle of wine, and I was nowhere near that tall or heavy. But if I tried to drink beer or spirits instead, I was blotto after a fairly small quantity.

People process alcohol differently.

expatinscotland · 26/07/2009 16:51

Greenmillie does bring up another interesting point, in that some people truly do not have an addictive personality.

My mother is like that with fags. She can honestly take them or leave them. She can go on a boozy weekend and smoke loads of them, or take off on a fortnight's trip with a group of women who don't smoke and happily leave them behind.

And that's not changed for her in 50 years.

If she were going to develop an addiction to them, she would have a long time ago.

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