to ask people to take their shoes off and how would I do it?

[Pennybubbly]

OK, not a huge one in the grand scale of things, but here goes.
I've lived in Japan for 14 years now and am married to a Japanese bloke. We have 2 young dcs.
We will be moving back to the UK in the future and one of the customs here that has stuck with me is how everyone is expected to remove their shoes before they enter someone's home.
It's principally a matter of cleanliness and if you think about it, when you have small kids rolling around on the floor, it makes sense for it to be on a space where you have not walked in shoes which have in turn walked in cat wee and general dirt outside.
My DH would be horrified if someone came into our house without taking their shoes off (which of course they never do here) and though he accepts it's not the custom in the UK to do so, and would therefore never criticise (of course) friends and relatives who wear shoes in their homes, he would not want people to do so in our house. And neither would I.
So question is: AIBU and how can I ask people in the nicest possible way to respect DH's culture?

I have one friend who asks you to take your shoes off and I do oblige, albeit very reluctantly as having seen the state of my socks after walking on her carpet I'm quite sure my shoes are cleaner that her carpets

I think it's absolutely fine and I don't think the majority will find it a problem. My DH is Singaporean and people don't wear shoes indoors there either. I always used to wear shoes indoors but actually feel more comfortable without now and it is much cleaner with the DC. The only person who makes a fuss is my mother which is a little irritating as she is v particular about her rules in her own house!
I do think you need to be flexible now and again eg tradespeople, children coming in and out, etc

I think you just have to ask them if they can take their shoes off.

Is it ok to wear slippers? I ask because, we are about to have our carpets replaced and there is no way anyone is going to traipse their muddy shoes through my new carpets, so we are provided a big wicker basket for people to put them in as they enter, and also the option of slippers I guess like this, in various sizes.

I am just telling my friends I would like them to take their shoes off as they enter.

I think it's a bit precious and rather rude to ask guests to take the shoes off. But I'd never actually say so as that would be equally rude.

Edam - with my new carpets, have no problems being seen as 'precious' .

I don't mind going to someones house and them asking me to take my shoes off. As long as you ask politely I can't imagine many would complain. Slippers offered would be even better as then I could hide my odd socks or whatever.

I don't insist guests do so in my own house though but then again I am still in the process of doing up our new house so perhaps I'll change my mind later on.

I do take my own off and make the DC's take theirs off but that's more a matter of comfort.

i hate this, i find it so rude when people get so fussy about their precious carpets BUT i'd be fine with it in your case as it's your dh's custom.
just have a very clear 'shoes off' area with a rack for shoes and another for slippers inc guest slippers. the more japanese the better, to underline the tradition iykwim?

lol pavlov hadn't read thread, didn't realise you were the proud possessor of precious carpets.

To the OP - YANBU.

I dont allow shoes indoors - think it is utterly revolting that people walk on all sorts outside and then proceed to traipse goodness knows what through their house.

I simply ask guests to remove their shoes..have done for years and not one person has taken offence so far.

And to be perfectly honest, if it offends them, they are more than welcome not to return . My house, my carpets....

Equally, your house, your guests. And it's a host's duty to make their guests comfortable...

If your carpets are too precious to stand up to people walking across them, may I suggest you either complain to the shop OR hang them on your wall for all to admire and buy something a little more practical to put on the floor?

People don't always actually say when they feel offended, they just seethe inwardly act politely.

Super clean, impractical houses full of cream sofas and laminate floors make me feel on edge anyway. The being told what you can and cannot wear just adds to the stress.

Of course I'd take my shoes off if asked, but I'd avoid coming back.

I think it's rude and unwelcoming.

It conveys the message that you care more about your carpets than your guests.

I just take mine off if asked but I always think it very sad that people put their carpets before friendships! If my shoes were muddy I would automatically take them off. If I have gone around for the evening I doubt whether my shoes have even been outside much. I think reasonable people would make their own decision about the state of their shoes-they don't need to be told. Offering used slippers is horrible.

Id be horrified if someone asked me to remove my shoes ...

chances are my socks would be odd ... or belong to my 5 year old

I really would hate that.

Disenchanted I have to take special care to wear presentable socks. My work involves home visiting. Many of the families who use our service have a no shoes policy. When I got the job I went out a bought a whole new sock supply

my carpets are not new and I still don't like people traipsing straight from outside into my house..it's my family custom don't get how it's rude or unwelcoming..personally it's uncomfortable for me to wear shoes in the house..seems very formal

I think it can sound a bit paranoid. Adults paddling about in their socks...it's all bit nursery behaviour.

I hate feeling I should take off my shoes if I've got dressed up a bit. Like I'm 5 .

I always take off my shoes when going into someone else's house. It doesn't really bother me if people don't here, as we have wooden floors rather than carpet, but if they were particuarly dirty shoes I would just ask if they minded taking them off. I can't see that anyone would be offended, it's your home after all.

We're generally a shoes off house - and it's not because we're precious about our floors - tiled actually - or rude or unwelcoming but have a 19 mth old who plays constantly on the floor.

Our friends know what we prefer, most of them do the same.

My husband is a stickler for it, having lived in Switzerland, where everyone takes theirs shoes off. I was embarrassed to ask at first, but now I just say "Shoes off please" and then "I bet you're hoping you haven't got holes in your socks". This usually seems to diffuse the situation.

Christ Jemli I would be out of there quicker than a frog up a pump

how rude

Possibly, but it beats getting moaned at by my husband. I always take my shoes off in other peoples houses even though I will quite often have "holy" socks. We do make up for the "rudeness" in hospitality. Shoeless guests are only a hop skip and a jump away from tea and cake in front of the aga.