to ask people to take their shoes off and how would I do it?

[Pennybubbly]

OK, not a huge one in the grand scale of things, but here goes.
I've lived in Japan for 14 years now and am married to a Japanese bloke. We have 2 young dcs.
We will be moving back to the UK in the future and one of the customs here that has stuck with me is how everyone is expected to remove their shoes before they enter someone's home.
It's principally a matter of cleanliness and if you think about it, when you have small kids rolling around on the floor, it makes sense for it to be on a space where you have not walked in shoes which have in turn walked in cat wee and general dirt outside.
My DH would be horrified if someone came into our house without taking their shoes off (which of course they never do here) and though he accepts it's not the custom in the UK to do so, and would therefore never criticise (of course) friends and relatives who wear shoes in their homes, he would not want people to do so in our house. And neither would I.
So question is: AIBU and how can I ask people in the nicest possible way to respect DH's culture?

how about a note pinned to the door?
If they are family and friends then surely they will already know not to wear shoes inside. If not just bring it up before you leave. You could ask them the question you posted,asking them for their feedback (thus letting them know what is what)

My mum has a small sign up made by her grandchildren pinned up works a treat..although there are some people who visit her who actively try to enter the house with shoes on knowing that they are supposed to take them off

I agree with Manicmother - I don't expect people to take their shoes off and I wouldn't ask them to.

If you invite guests to your home then they should feel comfortable - asking them to remove footwear in the doorway is not welcoming.

....I certainly would not wear a pair of slippers given to me by the home owner.

Never bothered me and there's been a lot of publicity recently about environments being too clean and this is contributing to children having asthma, allergies etc. I suppose views on hygiene are quite subjective...I can't be doing with the no shoes thing but OTOH I clean my loos obsessively and make dc wash hands all the time. My ex-MIL (how I love to use the ex prefix in that context LOL) is revolting - never washes hands aftr the loo and it was almost more than I could bear watching her holding my dc when they were babies, but exH thought I was being OTT about that!On reflection, I do think that if there's a cultural thing eg OP's DH is Japanese, then I would accept that quite happily.

I'm a shoes off person, even though my parents never were. Think it cause of the carpet, we did the house up and put new light coloured carpet throughout so purley started cause of that. Just built a porch so am going to buy a couple of pairs of slippers for guests who seem to really have a problem with having nothing on their feet. (it have been funny watching my dad put on my slippers though)

PS DH always blames it on me if its someone new!

PPS the meter man refused to take his off due to health and safety!

If I'm visiting someones home and they ask me to remove my shoes I would..it's their home...and if the floor was sticky ...I would bring my own slippers with me or wear socks..no big deal..why do I think I have the 'right' to stomp around their home in my shoes in the name of comfort? although I personally don't find wearing shoes indoors comfortable...my mum has a basket of slippers

I think asking people to slip on shoes that loads of other people have worn is a horrible thing to do...

we have a no shoe rule here because of DS

my mum has a no shoe rule in her house because of very pale carpets throughout

bet you'll never guess who was the only person to refuse to take their shoes of in our house!

My friend has a little sign on her door which says 'Please remove your Choos'.

Does the trick!

Hmm tricky one, but I think it's important if it's a cultural thing for your DH

You could get a small, posh looking sign made up to attach to the door, 'would visitors kindly remove their shoes' or something, right in the middle of the door at eye level.

I heard that 80% of the dirt in our hosues comes from shoes...not sure how but there you go.

I always make ds take his off and wash his hands when we come back from somewhere. Then we are ready to relax and get on with things.

I take mine off asap if I'm not going back out to do some job or other.

But I do feel odd asking other people to do it so usually I don't - mind you we have ancient dark floorboads and old patterned rugs and nothing much shows up. And we don't have a lot of visitors!

We never wear shoes in the house. I hate it, just think where the shoes have been! My mother never lets anyone wear shoes in the house so I guess that is where it comes from!

Most people who come here offer to take off their shoes and I ask if they do not! Always politely. My fil hates it and makes a fuss which I can not understand as no one is allowed to wear shoes indoors at my pil's house either.

Most of my friends have a no shoe rule too.

blondes HATES cold feet, so as long as a spare pair of slippers for me, more than happy to take my shoes off

i have a spare pair in my car and take them in with me to whoevers house i am in, esp in winter,though not so much now in summer

I don't care if the floor is unhygienic and will wear shoes in my house. I have had a baby rolling around on it - DS used to lick the dog though, so pretty sure it didn't make any difference.

However, if I go to someone else's house and they are of the shoes off variety I don't mind but I do think they are a bit mad. Can't think of anyone I am actually good friends with who does it.

It is your house and your floor so it is totally up to you. People always have the option of not coming in if they don't like it.

We are a shoes off household - I wasn't allowed to wear shoes in the house when I was growing up, so it is something I have never questioned.
I always ask children/teenagers to take their shoes off, although TBH all of our kids friends do anyway, because they do so in their own homes.
I don't feel comfortable asking adults to take their shoes off though, although again as most of our friends take theirs off in their own homes, they take them off in ours too.
I have one friend who always leaves her shoes on, her and her DH leave shoes on in their own home (they even have shoes on before they have been out of a day - bizarre!), and I inwardly seethe as she walks around my home in her shoes. I am such a coward!

I've been asked to change from outdoor clothes into indoor ones before playing on floor with children. Didn't have to dress for dinner though.

I always remove shoes in friends houses when they have carpet, i would be reluctant if there were hard floors, cos my feet get cold. I certainly don't get offended though.

I had to laugh at DD once, my friend has a no shoes house, and having took DDs shoes off she asked me why, i said because my friends house is posh . Another day we went to visit another friend who has a huge house with tile floors and wooden floors, definately a shoes on type house - DD proudly announced to my friend "your house isn't posh so we don't take our shoes off"

There is a house around the corner from me, it has "shoes off please" in huge writing on a A4 sheet in the porch - i don't think that is the way to go.

OP i wouldn't have a problem with you asking me to remove my shoes, i wouldn't expect you to justify it either.

I think the sort of people that would give you a pair of slippers are probably the sort of people that have twigs with fairy lights in a vase....

Nancy66 - i don't have twigs with fairy lights but have spare sets of slippers!

...and twee nick nacks displayed with exactly the same space between each one.

Mian reason I take my shoes off is comfort. I hate wearing shoes at the best of times; far nicer to have my feet free of shoes and socks. I wouldn;t be able to lounge about with my shoes on.

but Riven you can wipe your feet...and I'm pretty sure that if it was wet outside most people would automatically remove their shoes. It's the whole hyacinth bucket - 'here's a pair of slippers, don't ruin my shagpile and don't touch the walls' thing that I hate...

I don't offer slippers, but prefer people to remove their shoes before coming upstairs. I don't like having dirty carpets. Yuk!

PILs bring slippers with them

And the plumber who came today automaticlly removed his shoes. Never asked him to or hinted at it; he did it immediately

...but men have such stinky feet.