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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really annoyed that my SIL has chosen her own nickname for my DD

98 replies

luckymoray · 23/07/2009 09:05

not a nickname as such but an abbreviation of her name that i really, really hate. she now calls her by this name all the time, as do her children. it's a really posh-style nickname and makes her sound like a 16-year-old public-school lacrosse player (she is 2)...when in fact her real name is quite short anyway and lovely and normal.

Should I just get over it?!!

OP posts:
FabBakerGirlIsBack · 23/07/2009 09:07

No.

I would say to her you don't like it and can she please stop calling your child it.

Or start calling her kids an awful name if she won't stop.

MadameCastafiore · 23/07/2009 09:08

Why not shout at her

'You are not to call my child that name as I have not sanctioned it!'

Whilst jumping up and down and waving your hands in the air?

Momdeguerre · 23/07/2009 09:10

Does she know you don't like it? If not, have you told her?

If it is a common nickname for your DD's name then chances are she won't be the only one to use it - you might just have to accept that once she gets to school etc people will use all sorts of abbreviations/nicknames.

Paolosgirl · 23/07/2009 09:14

Yes, I think you will have to get over it. By all means ask her not to call your DD that as you're not keen on the abbreviation, but you will have to accept the fact that she'll probably get called it at some point in later life if it's a common short form of the name.

It's the main reason we didn't call DS William....

LilRedWG · 23/07/2009 09:14

Hmmm. My Mum did this. I did tell her that I didn't like it and she said, "When DD is older, she can tell me if she doesn't like it and I'll stop".

Made me stop and put things in perspective really and I never said another word. Besides, my Mum was so damned stubborn that I couldn't have talked her out of it.

Original poster
luckymoray · 23/07/2009 09:14

no i haven't told her - i am a big chicken.
you are right tho - i know it may happen, but i think it's different with her friends maybe. Noone else in the world uses this nickname, we certainly never have.

i think in the grand scheme of life, i am being precious but the name just really gets on my nerves. i think i may say something.

OP posts:
CyradisTheSeer · 23/07/2009 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

allaboutme · 23/07/2009 09:16

does she know you dont like it?

my fil did same to my ds2 (he called him eddie, when his name is teddy!)
i didnt call him on it (he is lovely and didnt do it to be annoying, so didnt want to upset him) i just used ds2's name a LOT in every day conversation with him and made sure that every time fil said eddie i responded with teddy ie. FIL: 'hello eddie', ME: 'teddy, say hello to grandad' etc
I also 'casually' mentioned to MIL. 'isnt it funny how fil likes to call ds eddie'
it worked and he never does it any more

MovingOutOfBlighty · 23/07/2009 09:20

Teach your dd how to sing 'That's not my name' by the Ting Tings at your SIL.

Think it will work and it damn cute as well.

Original poster
luckymoray · 23/07/2009 09:21

it's not a common abbreviation as such - and as a name goes, it's actually fine. But not for my 2 year old girl. If it sticks, I will say smoething - but i don't want people to think that's what we are calling her now and start using it too!

OP posts:
Original poster
luckymoray · 23/07/2009 09:22

love it blighty...

OP posts:
CurryMaid · 23/07/2009 09:24

What's the name?

Original poster
luckymoray · 23/07/2009 09:34

sorry currymaid - i can't risk it!

OP posts:
peanutbutterkid · 23/07/2009 09:41

I think you're in your rights to politely ask your SIL not to use it, OP. SIL is family and should respect your wishes.

However, as far as getting very het up about it all, especially if SIL doesn't get the message ... YABU. You're going to encounter this your child's entire life, OP. I'm sorry to say this, but I think you're being way too precious. What are you going to do when your DD's school friends call her this horrible name, or if she grows up and actually prefers it herself?

I'm desperate to know what a 16 yo Lacrosse player is called, too !

exrebel · 23/07/2009 09:44

YANBU

I would say something. I don't see why it should matter what happens in the future outside the home and people will use that nickname so better get used to it etc. You have the right to decide within the family and at home so they should respect your wishes. When your DD is old enough to have an opinion on this matter, it will be up to her.

ThingOne · 23/07/2009 09:47

I'm not sure there's much you can do to stop it, to be honest. My three year old tells people to their face if he doesn't like the nickname. And that includes me. He won't even allow "angel", "poppet" or "buster". So if your DD really hates it I'm sure she'll say soon.

MamaLazarou · 23/07/2009 09:48

Oh dear, I wonder if my sister secretly hates the nickname I call her daughter. I make up my own names for people, always have done.

I would say tell your SIL it really bothers you - she probably has no idea.

branflake81 · 23/07/2009 09:49

YAB completely and utterly unreasonable.

If your SIL calls your DD a nickname it's because she is fond of her, you shuold be pleased.

Your child will be called all sorts growing up and you will have no control over it.

If your DD didn't like it, I am sure she would say something.

PixiNanny · 23/07/2009 09:49

For some reason I think of Libby/Libs when I think 16yo lacrosse (even thoguh I know no Libby's who play lacrosse, or anyone who plays lacrosse actually!), and I dislike 'Libs', it sounds a bit dirty compared to Libby, which is a nice name in itself

RealityIsGettingMarried · 23/07/2009 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Morloth · 23/07/2009 09:55

I think YABU.

You don't own your daughter, when she is old enough if she doesn't like it she can say something about it. Don't put this wedge (however small) between them. I have pet names for all of my nieces and nephews.

In any case I called them all Snotface until they were about 5 because it was just so very appropriate most of the time. Count yourself lucky.

fruitstick · 23/07/2009 10:04

YANBU unreasonable to hate it but YABU to say something. I gave my DS a one syllable name and my brother and my FIL both put ie on the end. It drives me mad.

It reminds me of Phoebe teaching Joey French in a Friends episode. You say X, they immediately repeat Xie.

katiestar · 23/07/2009 10:05

sorry but I think YABU - Quite nice and special that your sister has her own name for your DD that noone else calls her.
Especially if its a well known abbreviation of the name she's going to get it at some point isn't she ?

Rollergirl1 · 23/07/2009 10:11

Blighty: Hah hah, i have done that with my DD. Her uncle calls her 'Spudface' and she sings "That's not my name" and "Are you calling me Spudface" to him. It's hilarious.

motherbeyond · 23/07/2009 10:11

well i think you're wrong morlth.my kid,i decide what she gets called!!don't care if people disagree.I ahve a lovely friend who called my son something that i didnt like,it was an alternative of his name that iv always hated.as soon as she said it,i said ,noooo.don't like that,don't call him it again please!!thankyou!!

my brother called him it on a seperate occasion and i immediately said..that is hideous,don't say it again or i shall kick you in the nads!ahhh,siblings