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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My blood is boiling at this thread

515 replies

chaosisawayoflife · 17/07/2009 07:23

Warning: contains link to a website full of selfish bridezillas worrying about how a woman breastfeeding at their wedding will ruin the day for them.
here

OP posts:
Wallace · 17/07/2009 07:33

but also at that thread.

Love this quote "think it is weird and creepy to feed elderly children"

ilovesprouts · 17/07/2009 07:36

@ that thread

CarmenSanDiego · 17/07/2009 07:41

I spend way too much time reading Mumsnet and love the liberal attitude towards extended breastfeeding, BLW etc.

Then it's always a shock to find the real world and people have these shitty, closed-minded and uber-judgey attitudes that have no real reasoning behind them other than 'URGH!'

That said... a wedding site is going to have a target audience of young and mostly childless women. Plenty of time for them to rethink a few things

SoupDragon · 17/07/2009 07:44

Oh god, there is a lot of nonsense being spouted on that thread. Its almost worth registering just to reply.

Original poster
chaosisawayoflife · 17/07/2009 07:47

I am wondering if said mother is an mnetter.

OP posts:
bumpsoon · 17/07/2009 07:48

I have no experience of extended breatfeeding ,i only fed dd until she was 13months and felt for me that was plenty long enough . I do think though that children of 3 and 4 will be having 3 meals a day and drinking non breast milk fluids ,therefore there wouldnt be a problem. I always thought that children who were extended breast fed (sounds painful) did so for comfort when they were tired as opposed to actually needing the milk for nutrition, so the offer of a nice comfy quiet room makes sense to me .

bumpsoon · 17/07/2009 07:49

Obviousley i am happy to be corrected by anyone with more knowledge

HecatesTwopenceworth · 17/07/2009 07:50

I'm just pleased it wasn't a textspeak lolhun site. I thought we were alone out here

belgo · 17/07/2009 08:01

it's just so frustrating, I don't know where to start.

I do find that the women who breastfeed for a few months are the ones who are most prudish about breastfeeding and the most judgmental.

They are All For Breastfeeding. Oh Yes absolutely all for breastfeeding Babies BUT only when the child is younger then 6 weeks/4 months/6 months/9 months or not walking/not talking (delete as per prejudice).

And these opinions are the hardest to change because they don't consider themselves prudish, they have no idea that they are being judgmental and prejudiced. They really think that they have the right to hold these judgmental opinions.

Maybe someone should link them to this thread?

wolfnipplechips · 17/07/2009 08:03

YABU people get stressed about everything on their wedding day and TB fair to her i know its not right but, extended BF is not really the norm.
Who knows what ignoramus she may have coming to her wedding. I know i used to find it uncomfortable when dhs colleagues would call round to our house to find my friend bf a 4 year old in a very NON discreet way, in fact she used to forget and conversations with her boob in her hand lol at the thought.

The only reason i felt bad is i could see it made the young lads really really uncomfortable. I on the other hand couldn't have cared less. I know that if people excepted it more it wouldn't be an issue but shes a bride she going to find a problem with everyone.

i'm ready for my flaming now.

piscesmoon · 17/07/2009 08:21

I don't see anything wrong with extended breast feeding, but it isn't necessary when out and the DC can be given a drink of water or a banana or something. I feel sorry for the DC-mine wouldn't have let me keep them babies for so long. In fact DS3 who was the one I wanted to keep as a baby flatly refused!

brandonsflower · 17/07/2009 08:24

I love that she is worried a woman with a bare boob will be in her photos!
Because just as the photographer calls for the bridal party to gather for a group photo, she is bound to whip her norks out; they do that you know, those extended breastfeeders- they're only doing it for attention

JodieO · 17/07/2009 08:25

piscesmoon so are you saying extended bf is a way to keep them babies?? Why should a baby have water when they can (and it's perfectly normal and natural) have breastmilk? It's society and the way they judge breastfeeing that needs to change; the way to do this is by doing it in public more and others being accepting. Not assuming the mum is "trying" to keep their child a baby, it's absurd.

piscesmoon · 17/07/2009 08:28

I haven't read the link but if it is about a child over 2 they can be treated as a child when out. They should be taking an interest in the wedding-they do not need breast milk for a few hours!If they are thirsty water would keep them going. If it is a baby-it is different. A toddler can have the same as everyone else while out.

tattycoram · 17/07/2009 08:30

I particularly like "Is she thin? All that breast feeding must be burning so many calories."

piscesmoon · 17/07/2009 08:30

I breast fed mine fully, they never had a bottle, and I breast fed them everywhere but once they are walking and talking they can manage to have what everyone else is having when out.

WoTmania · 17/07/2009 08:32

Can I just run away screaming and hide in a corner.
Fucking awful thread.

bedjumper · 17/07/2009 08:35

there do seem to be a couple of sensible posters on that thread who are nicely and politely putting the misguided ones right though, which is heartening.

WoTmania · 17/07/2009 08:40

But the misguided (rather more genteel than the term is was going to use) ones were just ignoring the sensible voices.
What gets me is the way they go on about it being the woman's 'choice' to BF her children. No comment on it being the child's choice.
In fac some of the seem to believe you have to force a child to BF. They obviously haven't met my DS2. I dread to think what he'd do if I tried to give up. Actually I do. He'd just kepp bugging me til I gave in.

dizzydixies · 17/07/2009 08:52

it worries me that what her guests think takes priorities in her eyes over the health/wellbeing of a child

I wonder if she'll feel the same once she's had her own kids and breastfed them

AppleandMosesMummy · 17/07/2009 08:52

Hmmm i'm not sure i would have fed at a wedding though and my dd was 3 when she weaned.

AppleandMosesMummy · 17/07/2009 08:53

she has her own kids and breast fed them, it says in the op

dizzydixies · 17/07/2009 08:55

ah bollox sorry

belgo · 17/07/2009 08:56

yes appleandmosesmummy and because she bf her own babies she thinks she has a right to impose her views on everyone else.

proverbial · 17/07/2009 08:57

I completely agree with the sentiment of this thread, unbelivable bridezilla shitery nonsense.

I do have to say one thing though about this line abobe;
"They really think that they have the right to hold these judgmental opinions"

Ummm, they do! Everybody has a right to whatever opinions they hold. How they express them, how they try to impinge on others, how theor opinions inform their comments and/or actions...all of these you can complain about and campaign about. You can't tell people what to think though!