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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My blood is boiling at this thread

515 replies

chaosisawayoflife · 17/07/2009 07:23

Warning: contains link to a website full of selfish bridezillas worrying about how a woman breastfeeding at their wedding will ruin the day for them.
here

OP posts:
PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 12:44

addicted isn't it spelled hun-tin?

a bridezilla is a self obsessed wedding obsessed bride with no sense of proportion

BitOfFun · 17/07/2009 12:46

OK, Morris, I only joined the thread after it got reasonable less heated.

oneopinionatedmother · 17/07/2009 12:47

i breastfed my babies at my own and my brothers wedding - i am feeding in the photos of my brothers wedding (baby in a sling so you'd never know)

i think it is appropriate to be discreet at someone elses wedding, especially if you know it bothers them.

also: lots of women already have kids when they get married, these are just common opinions not just those from non-mums.

OrmIrian · 17/07/2009 12:47

addicted - doesn't your 'g' work?

skihorse · 17/07/2009 12:47

"It was previously thought that the Bridezilla was a solitary figure who took selfish pride in only her special day but these posts show that she is capable of working in a team with other Bridezillas. Bridezillas are inapable of multiple thought processes and all energy is channelled in to 900 quid poncing cakes and choosing between 300 fonts for an invitation which will be binned by people who really don't care and are betting behind the Bridezilla's back on how long the happy union will last. The Bridezilla lives on a diet of snide remarks, fear, self-loathing, low-cal mineral water and Haribo. Often the Bridezilla will receive support from her mother and will reject that from her mate. Her mate should provide financial support only. If a Bridezilla is challenged by an Alpha Female from another pride, it is seen that the pack of Bridezillas will circle the outsider and spit verbal abuse such as "oi fatty" or "ur a fuckin' ugly lezza" or "ur jus jellus". The only cure is humiliating divorce."

FenellaFudge · 17/07/2009 12:48

Pleeeeeease can we have an end to this reporting-back-from-other-forums nonsense?

It makes us all look pathetically school-yard.

Disclaimer - I reserve te right to roffle at last nights Bounty thread.

Sarah - Have a wonderful wedding. I did not read your thread on the wedding site but from comments here it sounds like you are perfectly reasonable.

addicted2weddings · 17/07/2009 12:50

oh fuck off you poncy pricks!

LOL only kidding im a namechanger

ThingOne · 17/07/2009 12:50

No, ThingOne use the term "twatty bridezillas" in a more general comment about people who are unable to realise that small children sometimes have urgent needs. And in a post remarking on how obsessed some brides get about their very own "perfect day".

I didn't call any individual person a twatty bridezilla although there are some people I have met IRL who have truly deserved this.

Most people on the thread were ill informed about breastfeeding, saying that it had no nutritional value beyond a certain time, it was for the mother's pleasure and some even seemed to think that breastmilk would be a child's only food.

FWIW, I've not fed a baby older than 6 months at a wedding as that's how it's panned out for me.

I'm liking my idea of segregating the drunken leery older men more and more though.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 12:52

what about cats bum mouth women?? Maybe they could have a special room?

MorrisZapp · 17/07/2009 12:59

Absolutely brilliant, skihorse!!

And 'ouch' at the only cure being humiliating divorce.

That's the sort of thing I'd think but never say

ThingOne · 17/07/2009 12:59

Oh yes please. And can we say wanker and bollocks as well? I mean, not in particular relation to this thread. They're just so satisfying.

I am very, very careful about the words I use around the DSs (hence having to get them out here ) but I don't do so well driving. Last month my three year old asked me "Mummy, what's a twat?" I nearly crashed the car as I stifled my laughter and guilt.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 17/07/2009 13:05

So on balance feeding baby at wedding yay or nay?

Am going to a wedding in a month and it's DH close family - should we remind her I will be BF - although I'm sure it's not something she wants to be bothered with this close to the big day. But if she hasn't thought of it and she wouldn't like it then maybe I need to flag it up?

Miggsie · 17/07/2009 13:05

At my niece's wedding the father of the bride got his todger out on the table to invite comments...frankly a breast feeding woman would have been more than welcome compared to that.

We were in A&E once and an entire bridal party came in with the bride's dress covered in blood as the father of the bride had stabbed the father of the groom with the knife they used to cut the cake.

On this particular wedding thread: Perhaps the official photographer has a clause in his contract as follows: "I will take 7000 pictures of the bride but if I see anyone breast feed I will instantly change my attention to them and the bride can take a running jump. You will still be charged £4,000 for this."

MorrisZapp · 17/07/2009 13:08

Spam, I think most people wouldn't notice or care if you feed your baby at a wedding. They know you have a baby so must know that you feed it.

The only reason this thread began at all was becuase of people feeding (I think?) a 3 and 4 year old.

Which I think would draw comment.

wilkos · 17/07/2009 13:11

I agree with the thread

at age 3 and 4 they don't need breastmilk for their health or wellbeing

it IS unusual to breastfeed children of that age and i can understand that the bride doesnt want her wedding to be remembered forever as "the one where that woman breastfed her kids"

i have no idea why women who are breastfeeding should go on about "their rights" over and above anyone elses

before you get all het up i breastfed my daughter. if anyone had compained to me about breastfeeding in public i would have politely gone somewhere quiet (while mentally thinking what a dick they were) i certainly wouldnt have started banging on about MY rights

bye!

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 17/07/2009 13:18

Ahem. I would like to draw some attention to my v. reasonable post of 10:07 which is actually all about me.

LOL @ other forum invasion. Should I start skinning up again?

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 13:19

but why wilkos? why did you feel you should have to move? what would you have done if there had been nowhere to go?

sarah1711 · 17/07/2009 13:22

I am going to provide somewhere comfortable for her to breastfeed her 3 and 4 year old. I dont personally believe that it is completely necessary to breastfeed children of this age. That is why i started the thread to ask of a nice way to ask her this.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 13:23

just to clarify (in response to sarah's post) - I'm not talking about weddings - as I've said I can kind of understand why the bride wouldn't want to deal with the disapproval etc, but just sitting in a cafe?

skidoodle · 17/07/2009 13:25

'If they are old enough to ask for it, they are too old. End of. '

How stupid. I remember my sister saying something like this to me once.

I was a bit confused, um, they can always ASK for it. Even the first day they are born.

If that's the rule, then nobody can breastfeed at all.

I stopped feeding DD before she had a word for it, but her manner of asking around that time was to stick her head between my breasts and shake it around, in the manner of a frat boy in a teen movie. It was hilarious

wilkos · 17/07/2009 13:28

because spb, its just EASIER. arguing with these people is not worth the aggro.

obv if there was no alternative (or the alternative was sitting in some shitty baby changing room or similiar) then i wouldnt move. but then i always tried to be discreet - my post pregnancy breasts were nothing to shout about!

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 13:31

Fair enough - it's just that I rarely find it easir - having to gather up all my stuff with one hand, either moving with child in place or dealing with the wails as I de-latch.
Plus it sends the message that they're right and that bf is something slightly dirty that should be done behind closed doors, if you must.

wilkos · 17/07/2009 13:32

i did once take offence to one huffy elderly man in carluccios in st albans.

he sat there staring at me breastfeeding while making it obvious to me he was disgusted without actually having the guts to come over. you know - the angry face, shaking his head etc etc.

i just stared coolly back at him. if he had come over he would have looked like a prize knob in front of the whole restaurant and he knew it, and i knew it, and he knew i knew it!!

harrumph!

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 13:33
Smile
sweetss · 17/07/2009 13:34

Sarah you are being entirely reasonable. I do not have an opinion on how long people decide to breastfeed -- it's their business BUT I think that most people are grossed out by breastfeeding children of that age, and just like most people are offended by things that some are not, if you are organizing a wedding you have to think of the majority of people. providing comfortable alternatives for her to breastfeed in private is the right approach. if your SIL feels a compelling need to breastfeed in public and cannot for once, at your wedding, understand that some people find it revolting although she does not, she is an idiot.