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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My blood is boiling at this thread

515 replies

chaosisawayoflife · 17/07/2009 07:23

Warning: contains link to a website full of selfish bridezillas worrying about how a woman breastfeeding at their wedding will ruin the day for them.
here

OP posts:
KingRolo · 17/07/2009 10:24

Proper Bridezilla nonsense. She'll be too pissed by 5pm to give a toss.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 10:25

Wonder how she'll react if her bridesmaids get pissed and flash their boobs!

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 10:28

The only case I have ever encountred (read about) of someone feeding a child at an advanced age (1) was when the child was dying of leukaemia, which is a who;e different ballgame anyhow- only food child could keep down.

It's not common. out of respect i'd probably not even consider feeding in the wedding if options were available (would probably go tocar even if not) but the more people think it is OK to yell bitty etc then the more I want to whip my norks out on the altar and say stuff it (Note: wouldn't actually do that).

I don't follow people with bottles around 9even when they're full of cola) commenting, so expect the same treatment back. yet even people who do know why I am bf feel they can pepper conversations with 'you're not still bf are you'.

missfitt · 17/07/2009 10:28

some one, g'wan, register and tell her it will be all fine.

by the time she waps out both norks everyone will be so drunk and merry that is will add to the fond memories and will be retold with much jollity on their 50th wedding anniversary.

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 10:29

(10) not 1 obv

wolfnipplechips · 17/07/2009 10:29

I once went to a party at a friends house where all her family were, one of the first things sh said to me was would you like me to show you where the room you can feed the baby in is. I took this that she was uncomfortable and that was fine with me, i didn't bf to make statement and i wish attitudes weren't as they are but they are. I did breastfeed in plenty of old northern rugby grounds though.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 10:30

i did wonder Peachy

wolfnipplechips · 17/07/2009 10:33

Spb i know more than one person who has extended bf i think its alot more common or maybe its just more open or maybe all my friends or aqquaintances are just wooly hippies

stleger · 17/07/2009 10:33

I was twice shown 'a lovely quiet room to feed'. Both times with a very comfortable bed and I was sleep deprived...

KingRolo · 17/07/2009 10:34

Wolfnipple - she was probably just trying to be nice, I have had friends do that too.

Personally, I would rather go into a quiet room to feed. That's not because I'm modest or want to save anyone's feelings, just because DD gets so distracted by everything that she doesn't feed well unless she's in a quiet place.

KingRolo · 17/07/2009 10:35

I can't even feed her in front of Coronation Street!

Upwind · 17/07/2009 10:35

YABU.

The bride knows it will bother some of her family, seeing a woman breastfeeding a 3 and 4 year old, without covering herself up. Based on past experience, she knows that if anyone says anything the mother in question is likely to throw a tantrum.

It is her wedding day. She does not want bad feeling, embarassment or rows. It is not unreasonable for her to want the woman to use a private room.

Of course it would be better if nobody raised an eyebrow at someone breastfeeding toddlers without covering up. It should be accepted. But, the reality is that, it would be a spectacle. It is so rare to actually see older children breastfeeding in public, and I am not sure that someone else's wedding is the right place to try and change norms.

mumOfTheYearNOT · 17/07/2009 10:37

If they are old enough to ask for it, they are too old. End of.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 10:40

wnc - you woolly hippy!
I did forget to include myself in that - feeding a 2yo
mumoftheyear, DS has been asking for milk since he was born - are you suggesting I should have refused it??

wolfnipplechips · 17/07/2009 10:40

Exactly Upwind.

proverbial · 17/07/2009 10:40

"If they are old enough to ask for it, they are too old. End of. "

All hail the oracle, such an easy and definitive answer. Do you want to sort out world peace since you're so damned smart?

KingRolo · 17/07/2009 10:43

They can ask for it from around 12 months can't they? That's not too old.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 10:45

They can ask for it from birth - crying is how they communicate.
Carrying on my earlier flippancy (and assuming you did mean talking), what if they can walk months before they can talk? OK? What if they can't talk until they are 5 - can they be fed up to 5? What if they can do the milk sign from 6 months?

TheProfiteroleThief · 17/07/2009 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCrackFox · 17/07/2009 10:48

Have brides always been this self absorbed? Or is a new thing?

At my wedding (12 years ago) my plan was that everyone got so drunk nobody could actually remember any of it the next say.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 10:51

well in her defence at least the children are invited!

KingRolo · 17/07/2009 10:52

I wonder if she has asked for cash for the honeymoon?

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 10:59

'If they are old enough to ask for it, they are too old. End of. '

quite right.

Now if you could just sned me a cheque for the hypoallergenic formula my GP refuses to prescribe and that he needs until 3, along with a commitment to pay some care costs if I dont BF and it does turn out implicated in the genetic disability his brothers have ......

no?

fark off judging then.

End of.

Stayingsunnygirl · 17/07/2009 11:01

Upwind - I think you are being the voice of reason here. Asking the woman to feed privately/discreetly is a reasonable compromise, and the bride does have the right to want a wedding day free from rows (though whether she gets it is another question).

I have a friend who fed her son up until he was school age. By that point, it was just at bedtime and very occasionally if he was really upset or poorly. I respected her choice and supported her in it, though I'm not sure I'd have made the same decision - as it happened, I never successfully breastfed any of my children past 3 months (apparently I make skim, not gold-top).

I did watch the programme about extended breastfeeding, and was a bit uncomfortable about the 9 year old who was still breastfeeding - but if I knew someone who was doing that, or encountered someone who was feeding an older child, it would be my responsibility to control my feelings and reactions and to be polite and not make her feel uncomfortable.

FaintlyMacabre · 17/07/2009 11:03

Mumoftheyear- my son can ask for toast, bananas and rice crispies (among other things). Is it time to wean him off bread, cereal and fruit?

How bizarre to deny a child something just because they can ask for it. Seems rather mean-spirited somehow.