My blood is boiling at this thread

[chaosisawayoflife]

Warning: contains link to a website full of selfish bridezillas worrying about how a woman breastfeeding at their wedding will ruin the day for them.
here

I'm still feeding dc6 who's 2.3. I feed him in public, because he often needs bf for comfort if he's anxious, so what?

I'm discrete I hope, I 've got no boobs left for anyone to see anyway, got a man's chest now.

However, I do remember being at some children's play park place where a woman plonked herself down in the middle of a path, (why there I do not know), preceded to feed her at least 3 year old dc and then once he'd finished sat that chatting to a friend in the middle of a busy path with her baps still hanging loose.

Now that is stupid, maybe the woman going to the wedding is a bit like that?

Kitty, I certainly read the bride to be's post in that way. I had the definite impression that the mother in question could not care less about offending anybody else by bfing her child in a very indiscreet way.

I believe it is entirely for the mother to decide when to stop bfing her child, and indeed, whether to bf at all. However, I do get rather put out by the 'I'm bfing my child and I don't care who sees everything'approach that some mothers have. I felt the bride was trying to consider all her guests by offering a private room for feeding the LOs. If she hadn't have done so, you can just bet there would have been another thread complaining about that and the fact that 'I had to bf my child in front of all the wedding guests including great uncle Frank who is 97 and had a heart attack because it was the first time he'd seen a bare breast in 50 years!'

I think that it is that sort of woman who causes the problem kittywise. No one minds someone so discreet they don't notice, it is the militant (in your face ones)with a message that really put me off.
Insisting on bf a DC who is old enough to chat to, at a wedding is doing a disservice to all extended bf. I equally wouldn't expect a DC of that age to have a bottle when out, or a dummy. Once they are walking and talking bottles, dummies and boobs should be strictly for the home. People could interact with their DC instead of putting something in their mouth.

God, where do people find the energy to get so worked up?

My personal feelings are - NO. Not for me. I'd rather saw off my arm with a rusty Black & Decker than bf a gangling great kid.

But could I give a toss if someone else wants to breastfeed their 4 yr old? Not really.

Yet to read all the thread...it is very long !!! So I might come back tonight with further comments.

Re. Nursing an older child at a wedding. If I needed to I would. If a non-nursing child needed a dummy or bottle of milk no one would bat an eye, breastfeeding is the original source of milk and the model for a dummy and should be given the same lack of interest by others.

Of course a bride could ask any child not to be comforted during her wedding breakfast, that is her right as the host. Equally I would not attend the wedding of someone who wanted to exercise such control over the needs of my children.

I would be especially upset if the reason given was other guests hangups. One of the major reasons that nursing in public is so frowned upon, is the rarity of nursing mothers in todays society.

Watching my own parents and inlaws behaviour improve over the last nearly 3 years. Has proven to me that education and refusing to pander to other peoples issues is better for them in the long run. Should my sister or SIL wish to breastfeed, I have left a legacy of better attitudes to nursing in my own family.

Not that I nurse to make a point, far from it. It is just a normal way to interact with my children, where ever we happen to me, for both my 11 month old and my 2.11 year old.

When I balance up the needs of adults and young children, the children needs must prevail. Especially as it is so easy for adults not to be offended. They can do what I do when faced with people I don't wish to look at, I choose another direction to look in...very simple.

'If a non-nursing child needed a dummy or bottle of milk no one would bat an eye,'

I would-I hate to see dummies in mouths of toddlers and they are too old for bottles when out. The mother could actually talk to her DC or play with them rather than shove something in their mouth! I was at a wedding on Saturday with a 2 yr old who was as good as gold, she watched the bits that interested her and she played with a flower for the rest of the service. She sat in a high chair at the reception and ate the same as everyone else-but a smaller portion. She talked to people and they talked to her.

babieseverywhere - don't bother reading the thread.

hercules1, Oh dear. I take it the thread getts a little testing in the middle bit ? I read the first 1/3 and I like reading other peoples opinions I find it interesting

piscesmoon, You last posts shows that you need to overcome your judgemental attitude towards many parental choices, not limited to breastfeeding but also dummy and bottle use.

BTW if you saw my daughter at her christening in church and at the following party. You would of noted the nice things about my daughter....and she still nurses.

piscesmoon you must be an absolute joy at weddings

I haven't read the first half. It's the last part that is erm, rather odd.

Basically you will be seen as fucking weird for shoving your baps in your strapping childs mouth. Oh and you are only doing it for yourself of course.

Yes it is odd to shove your breast in the mouth of a older toddler as a way to comfort/interact with them.
They are not babies. They do not need breast milk. Give them a cuddle, talk to them, give them a cup of water, play with them!

What's with the mother's need to keep "shoving their tits" in their kids mouth long, long after it's appropriate?
I stand by my FIRM belief this is 80% about the mother's wishes and 20% about the child's.
You sound angry. Get over it.

Yes it is odd to shove your breast in the mouth of a older toddler as a way to comfort/interact with them.

They are not babies.

They do not need breast milk.

Give them a cuddle, talk to them, give them a cup of water, play with them!

What's with the mother's need to keep "shoving their tits" in their kids mouth long, long after it's appropriate?

I stand by my FIRM belief this is 80% about the mother's wishes and 20% about the child's.

I did warn you

LOL, So you did

didn't realise this one was still going - just getting on it so I can read it later

Luckily I don't go to many weddings,Zephirine,-I think that was the first in about 10 yrs-so I can probably keep my judgements to myself for another 10yrs!
It was a lovely wedding with guests aged from 4mths to 95yrs and I don't think anyone got upset by the behaviour of others.

Jude you really don't know very much about this, do you? For the last time, there is no shoving of tits involved in feeding a toddler. I can only conclude that you have some kind of freaky breast obsession to be able to even imagine such a thing. Live with it, get counselling, do what ever you like, but please stop with the moronic attacks on natural term breastfeeders. It just makes you look like a big tit (pun intended).

Pisces, thank goodness! Am imagining worst case scenario in which random guest flops out mammaries during signing of the register and causes projectile vomiting in piscesmoon like the middle england bigot lady in Little Britain.

(I never thought I would bring up Little Britain on an extended bf thread.

babieseverywhere, you say your kid NEEDS breastmilk? What exactly do you imagine will happen to your DC if they do not get a nipple-full of your mamma milk?
And the term "nurse" is stupid. I'm an nurse, an oncology nurse..you are breastfeeding.
Are you also one of those nutters who "wear babies"?

Thought you'd flounced off this thread, Jude - a couple of times, actually.

Yeah, Feenie, I have...then I have a drink.
I feel complelled rightly or wrongly to challenge the breast-feeding elderly children/baby wearing gang to get a grip and put their baps away and confront their "issues" with being unable to let their baby develop into a child...without 24 hr bitty being on tap.

You do keep flouncing. What is it that keeps drawing you back, Jude? What do you find so upsetting?

As for need, you mentioned that your child used a dummy until 2 and a half. Was this because she needed it? Or was it all about her mother not wanting her to grow up? Were you finding it hard to let go? Are you finding these questions as dumb and offensive as I am finding yours?

"babieseverywhere, you say your kid NEEDS breastmilk?

What exactly do you imagine will happen to your DC if they do not get a nipple-full of your mamma milk?

Zep, my 2.5 year old was bf until 7 months (exclusively, no expressing/the odd bottle of forumla) and had a dummy because me being a selfish shit of a mother needed a break and a dummy helped afford me one.
We have had a number of "discussions" with her over her continued dependence on them.
I have informed her that when she has lost the last one (we have 3 left) then that is it..cold turkey.
Will make sure Daddy is around to help with the withdrawal symptoms.
DD2 was never interested in a dummy but i cheated with her. She had a bottle of formula every night given by heer father so I could have a bath in peace.
No doubt I am an evil mother who is going to Hell. I'm hoping I'll not meet any sanctimonious "natural term" bfers...where do they think up these stupid terms from?" when I get down there...as if!