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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My blood is boiling at this thread

515 replies

chaosisawayoflife · 17/07/2009 07:23

Warning: contains link to a website full of selfish bridezillas worrying about how a woman breastfeeding at their wedding will ruin the day for them.
here

OP posts:
AppleandMosesMummy · 17/07/2009 08:57

We made every one dress as star wars characters for our wedding, beat that for imposing your views

MamaLazarou · 17/07/2009 08:59

I liked this:

"If you've got time to worry about what other women are doing with their tits on your wedding day, you need to re-examine your priorities!"

belgo · 17/07/2009 09:00

proverbial - yes I admit you are right - they do have the right to hold whatever views they want.

pagwatch · 17/07/2009 09:03

I bf DD until she was four and tbh I would not have fed her at an occasion like that just because there are people attending who would genuinely find it difficult ( in the aged uncle category )and i wouldn't want to offend people who kind of have an excuse for their 'prejudices' IYSWIM.

BUT I would have to say I would have a go at feeding her if I were at the wedding of one of those dimwitted contributors ( she is nearly 7 now by the way - I suspect it would take her a little by surprise ).

The thing is I did feed DD when we were out and about. I suspect from reading that drivel that some people were horrified but the good thing about genuinely not giving a toss is that people sense it and don't tut at you. I think the tutting is used when people sense some defensiveness/vulnerability. In the same way that I never get tutted at about DS2s SN behaviours any more. I think people can read my 'seriously - fuck off' face

APerson · 17/07/2009 09:15

I agree with the person who started the wedding thread.

I'm hardly ever on MN now because it's full of hippies.

I wouldn't want this mother at my wedding. I would want all guests to feel comfortable and they wouldn't because of that woman. I wouldn't want to spend my whole day worrying about what she's doing.

BF should stop by 1 year old. they don't need it by then. It's shocking that someone BFs a 4 year old

I never BF by the way. My business. thank you and goodbye.

brandonsflower · 17/07/2009 09:15

Oh pagwatch, please teach me your 'seriously-fuck off' face!
I seem to always attract people who, when my toddler is having a melt down, do that cartoon shock face at me (y'know the wide eyed open mouth one!)

EccentricaGallumbits · 17/07/2009 09:15

It is almost worth registering on there and giving them what for.

Bunch of nasty horrible bitches.

petnik · 17/07/2009 09:16

This has mad me really I'll bet there will be loads of pissed up people later on at the evening do that will do much worse things than get there boob out to give their child comfort and nutrition. I've been to several weddings where people do really really offensive things when they are pissed. I think feeding her children is normal and healthy. If she is happy and the kids are happy why should it bother anyone else Also agree that woman should have other priorities on her wedding day.

pagwatch · 17/07/2009 09:18

Look brandonsflower. Its like this. I am doing it at APerson who appears to have misspelt her name. there is no p in twat

proverbial · 17/07/2009 09:20

Aperson, how come its "your business" that you didn't BF (though I completely agree it is), yet also your business that everyone should stop at some arbitrary date YOU decree?

Well done for being such an obvious charactature of an uneducated prudish fool.

And if you spent your whole wedding day worrying about how one of your guests was feeding her children, sounds like you shouldn't be getting married! Is your groom so horrible that you can't concentrate on him for a few minutes?

WoTmania · 17/07/2009 09:26

Do you not think that maybe APerson is someone trying to be amusing?

dizzydixies · 17/07/2009 09:27

Aperson, what a shame, your well educated and inspiring posts will be missed by use misguided, uneducated hippies, do hurry back

OrangeKnickers · 17/07/2009 09:31

I love this quote 'Is she thin? All that breast feeding must be burning so many calories.'

Genius.

wolfnipplechips · 17/07/2009 09:49

petnik i stressed about what horrible drunken people might do at my wedding that might offend a whole host of elderly guests. I do think the OP is just wanting everyone to be comfortable including elderly uncle john as somone put it.

I think hindsight is a fabulous thing and i guess that even if her rel did bf on the day looking back she won't give a shit just like in the end it didn't matter that my own brother got so drunk and took of all his clothes at my wedding, i realised that actually i had such a fab day i didn't give a flying fuck what anyone else was doing and that alot of the elderly ladies actually had a very good time

TheChilliMooseisOnTheLoose · 17/07/2009 09:54

If someone wants to breastfeed a child that is 4, then fine, but I really wouldn't want to see it. The child doesn't need it for nutrition.

LovelyRitaMeterMaid · 17/07/2009 10:04

I didn't breastfeed DS and DD for that long at all (9 and 10 months I think). But I really can't understand why people go on and on about there being no nutrional value to breastfeeding above a certain age. Even if there were (and I am pretty sure there is) then providing comfort to a child, in whatever way is a Good Thing.

Would anyone suggest I shouldn't cuddle my children? I think not. And someone breastfeeding their child is cuddling them and they get a drink as well.

Some people's attitudes make me go

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 17/07/2009 10:07

I can sort of see where this bridezilla is coming from, actually.

I went to a wedding with my dc back in May, and agonised over what to wear to make bf-ing as comfortable for everyone as possible. I figure that there is a time and a place for discreet breastfeeding (and my GOD how much do I hate the D word?) and I personally wouldn't have felt comfortable just feeding as I usually do (ie - without much thought to discretion or other people's sensibilities! )

I hadn't really planned to bf ds, as he doesn't really ask to in public anymore, or can be fobbed off with chocolate something else, but as it turned out he was quite poorly on the day, and needed to nurse as he'd been sick and was struggling to keep water down. I just found a quiet corner and nursed him with a scarf over the top half of my shoulders (IYSWIM) - to the casual observer we probably just looked like we were having a cuddle.

Now, I know that the bride and groom of that wedding wouldn't have given 2 tosses whether I bf dd, ds or in fact dh at their wedding, but I felt that the day was about them and I didn't want to bring too much attention on myself!

I wouldn't be at all surprised if the mum on the other thread feels exactly the same way, and threads like that are a good way of raising bf-ing awareness. It's really good that there are a couple of reasoned, intelligent responses with the correct bf-ing info on them.

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 10:11

Stupid silly self obsessed bints

Bitty bitty? elderly children? the reality is my 15 month old dairy intolerant asd risk son who I am doubly glad I am feeding atm as he struggles to recuperate from the flu

I dont tent to fed in public now as ds4 has a tendency to flash my boobs at people but its ahrdly a war crime is it?

Stigaloid · 17/07/2009 10:12

I don't see what the problem is. It's her wedding and if it makes her uncomfortable and she is willing to provide a comfortable alternative to the problem as she sees it then why can't she ask about it? People seem really militant about being allowed to breast feed until their children go to school and beyond and complain about a lack of tolerance for their personal choices with feeding but then are equally intolerant of other people whose views are dis-similar on days that are special and supposed to be about them.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 17/07/2009 10:13

ChilliMoose - does everything you eat have prime nutritional value for you then? How about chocolate? Chips? Burgers? Sweets? Wine?

Breastmilk is much, much better nutritionally than any of those, so while it may not be necessary it's still nice for the child to get it, and also boosts up their immune system, as well as giving them a lovely cuddle at the same time!

My ds eats a varied and balanced diet, and has breastmilk as part of that. It helps him to sleep, it helps him wake up, it makes bumps and grazes go away quickly, it helps him to bond with his little sister, it makes him feel better when he's poorly and (I'm told) tastes like ice cream into the bargain!

Where's the bad?

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 10:16

If anyone is regisytered perhaps they should go and link to the kelly mmom site

brandonsflower · 17/07/2009 10:18

Teehee pagwatch- I'll be practising that now in the mirror!

AppleandMosesMummy · 17/07/2009 10:20

I think that seriously on your wedding day you are in a whole different state of mind (bubble) to the new mum (bubble) and it is for just one day of your entire life all about you and the groom.
Now if we were talking a newborn here, fair enough but really can people not see her point of view and nod along whilst knowing themselves she won't even notice, my flowers didn't turn up and I had no idea until they tried to deliver them the next day.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 10:20

How come all the people who scream bitty know someone personally who is still feeding an 8/9 year old?

I can honestly say that I don't know (in RL) anyone who is feeding a child over 18 months (apart from another MNer - you know who you are ) - if there is anyone I know doing that I don't know about it, which is the same thing iyswim.

And yet reading those posts you'd think 8 year olds were being fed 'bitty' in hoardes at shopping centres every weekend.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 17/07/2009 10:23

I must say that I find it very that someone is breastfeeding their 9 year old. I wouldn't have thought that was biologically possible, to be honest.

I know someone who was feeding their 6 year old, who, when their 2nd milk tooth fell out, just lost their latch, just like that.

Obviously my dc aren't at that stage yet, but I would have thought that a 9 year old would have lost a fair few milk teeth, thus losing his latch?