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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My blood is boiling at this thread

515 replies

chaosisawayoflife · 17/07/2009 07:23

Warning: contains link to a website full of selfish bridezillas worrying about how a woman breastfeeding at their wedding will ruin the day for them.
here

OP posts:
mrsjammi · 17/07/2009 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mrsboogie · 17/07/2009 11:16

I can't see the problem with that thread - to me it doesn't seem that much different to one you'd get on here.

OrmIrian · 17/07/2009 11:23

I think it's a bit stupid to worry about it TBH. However a child of that age doesn't need bf. I fed dd till she was 3 and DS#2 till about 4 but only at home towards the end. At no point was he going to starve without it.

TheCrackFox · 17/07/2009 11:25

TBH if this is the most embarrassing relative that the bride can come up with then she should have a pretty stress free day.

spiralqueen · 17/07/2009 11:30

YABU. Upwind was exactly right.

It's the bride's special day and she will have put a lot of planning into it. The last thing she will be wanting is for her wedding to be remembered as the one with the bitty woman.

sweetss · 17/07/2009 11:34

the bride sounds sensible to me -- it's not her fault if most people do feel uncomfortable watching children over 3 being breastfed (with no cover). she is offering alternatives, and trying to make her guests comfortable. who cares how long people breastfeed, it's their own business but if you are planning a wedding, it is nice to respect people's sensitivities and make sure people dont get embarassed by others. Dont think it's a big deal to feed in private for once at a wedding...

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 11:49

Could people stop with the bitty crap?

It's a word that makes me feel very bad at what for my paricular child is a very sensible decision

I don't bf in front of people any more but it's not funny, it makes me feellike a freak for doing my best

ThingOne · 17/07/2009 11:50

I hate this whole "my day my day must be all my way" toddler crap that so many brides spout. It is so childish and selfish. What about all the boozy leery older men drooling drunkenly over the teenage girls? Should they be put in a quiet room to calm down?

I certainly made an effort to respect the desire for privacy of my mum's older friends when I was feeding my boys but sometimes the baby/child just has to come first above everyone else. And that includes twatty bridezillas.

OrmIrian · 17/07/2009 11:50

Agree re bitty peachy SIL used to say it when she saw me feeding DS#2 when he was only about 18m old. Used to make me feel very uncomfortable.

Stigaloid · 17/07/2009 11:53

Thing one - if it is all about you and your children then perhaps you should stay away form other people's wedding days considering that they have spent a lot of money, time thought and effort into making it their one special day.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 11:55

sorry, it was me that said bitty - haven't noticed it from anyone else I don't think

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 11:56

No SPB, it was SQ just below that made me arrrggghhhhhhhhhh

It's something DH does as well that maes me see red.

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2009 11:57

Whenever anyone said, "Bitty," to me, I just said, "Yep, Bitty Queen. And?"

I really get cross with Mr. Walliams for creating that 'comedy' sketch because bfing women get regarded as freaks enough as it is without him adding fuel to the fire. Very easy target.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 17/07/2009 11:59

Anyone notice that there is an advertisement for Michael Jackson -- The Legend at the top

Yes, breast feeding is just so offensive, but um, what can I say without this turning into a MJ thread?

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 11:59

funnily enough DH was a bit about DS stil having BM when he was 18m or so and kept having nervous conversations about when we would stop. Now, about 9 months on, he's back to being fully supportive as far as I can tell, sends DS in for his mi-mi after teeth brushing, encourages him to have nothing else when he's under the weather etc. He must have decided to just go with the flow

OrmIrian · 17/07/2009 12:00

"their one special day" hmmm.... I have some sympathy with thingone on this. It shouldn't be their one special day - if it is I don't hold out that much hope for their marriage. And what about the day when their DC are born, or when they move into their dream house or when they get their first GC? I am hoping my life is going to be full of special days otherwise it was likely to be fairly grim as I got wed 17 yrs ago

georgiemum · 17/07/2009 12:00

Haven't looked at the thread but... a screaming humgry baby would enhance the wedding day how??? Or is the baby the brides?

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 12:00

'What about all the boozy leery older men drooling drunkenly over the teenage girls? Should they be put in a quiet room to calm down?

'

yes

Dh's Grandad lay down on the red carpet (yes I know but was a standard hotel fixture) to look up my skirt and that of a friend (complaining my dress as too high cut to look down) then accosted DH in front of entire do at top table to tell him that by marrying me he wasn't a chip off the old block and was letting the dise down. By the time that man died we knew of 8 children he had afthered, only 2 he would acknowledge (those born to his wife, though even she did a runner after a few eyars leaving MIL and her sister in a home for a while).

Absolutely agree with controlling old men . Add in fellow carnival club memebrs trying to fill the wedding night room with live chickens and you'll ahve my vote every time pmsl. Oh and crap DJ's your dh used to know from school whose dad works with your FIL who insist on playing ehavy house all night.

(Contrary to what you might think, I loved my wedding day)

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 17/07/2009 12:02

Actually SPB dh is well behind it because of the boys ASD and because he knows how much formula costs (I know how to get him on side PMSL)- he just thinks its funny

BitOfFun · 17/07/2009 12:03

Wasn't the woman she was talking about unwilling to go somewhere private though? I know people here have strong opinions on extended breastfeeding, and probably don't think they should need to go somewhere private to do it, but a bit of give and take wouldn't go amiss. Same as if I would take my dd out of a wedding party if she was being disruptive, and just go home with her if it got too much - she couldn't help it, she has a right to be there if she's been invited, but if her behaviour is likely to upset or offend other people and be distracting to people, then I'd just quietly slope off. Like it or not, extended breastfeeding is a bit taboo apart from on MN, and somebody else's wedding isn't really the place to be "breaking down barriers" IMVHO.

ThingOne · 17/07/2009 12:04

Gosh Stigaloid, why are you being rude and attacking me personally?

Smurfgirl · 17/07/2009 12:04

I have to say that I post on another wedding forum and women are always rounded on if they start whinging about someone breastfeeding during their wedding.

I had huge huge anxieties around my own wedding and I think sometimes brides look for something to focus on to get their stresses out.

That said, my MIL would have loved someone breastfeeding at our wedding, she is a breastfeeding counsellor and its her fave topic of conversation

As it was my cousin took her 9 month old to a quiet area to bottle feed her because she said the baby was too distracted by the noise/lights etc so I think providing a quiet area is a nice idea as long as you are not forced to use it.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2009 12:06

glad it's just a joke Actually now I think about it, DH does find it amusing to moo occasionally maybe I should kick him with my hoof.

Stayingsunnygirl · 17/07/2009 12:07

Georgiemum - the children concerned are 3 and 4 years old (if I remember right), so it is a slightly different issue.

skihorse · 17/07/2009 12:07

Doesn't surprise me at all... I was "gently let down" (invite retracted) because I didn't fit the aesthetic ideal of an EX-friend Bridezilla.