to exclude this boy from DD's party?

[gonaenodaethat]

DD wants to have an early evening disco for her classmates on her 11th birthday.

She currently has a broken arm caused by some rough play at school involving two boys in her class. Now, I know they didn't mean to hurt her and certainly not to break her arm but while one of the boys has been very apologetic, sending her a card etc, the other one is denying responsibility and hasn't apologised.

I'm cross about this because if ever there is any trouble in the class then this boy is involoved. He has been excluded in the past and has assaulted a teacher.

I don't want this boy at DD's party. DD is frightened of him and I don't feel like taking responsibility for him at a party.

On the other hand he's just a little boy and I hate the thought of anyone doing the same to any of mine.

So, what to do?

The headmistress rang me the next day at work to explain that they'd had an investigation and worked out who was involved - she told me their names but I already knew from DD. She said that it seemed like 'high spirits gone too far'.

She said that the class teacher would be having a word with the whole class about rough play and the need to be more careful. She said that both boys had been talked to.

I left it at that.

She did agree. She knows they didn't mean to break her arm or hurt her badly. It wasn't vicious in her opinion.

She doesn't live in daily fear of this boy - I would address that if it were the case. She usually just stays away from him. However my (gobby) 7 yr old DD2 said she was going to say 'You hurt my sister' to him and DD1 said not to, that he hurts people, even little people and that he would hurt her if she said it.

It's the fact he's not apologised that bothers me, that he appears to be totally unaffected by the whole incident.

Meanwhile DD sits in the shade while the other kids are on the trampoline, in the paddling pool etc. He even had the cheek to sign her plaster - and she let him!!

I'm pissed off and posted on here to gain some perspective.

fairynuff - a mantra that I have to live by, or I would hate my own child...who, by the way, is a lovely child when you see past the violence and the autism.

I know I'm biased but she is lovely. Tolerant and forgiving. I've tried to explain things to her but to be honest I'm cross with the school to a certain extent for not MAKING him apologise.

Anyway, I can't think about it any more because I just wind myself up and I'm trying to be rational.