To think a single women should not keeping coming on to a man when she knows he is married??

[memoo]

and that his wife is 7 months pregnant!!!!

I'm getting really pissed off with this women at DH's work. She is always flirting with DH, I know this because DH is very open about it and doesn't try to hide it from me.

When we went out on his works do at xmas she was all smiles at DH but completely ignored me.

She is always sending DH emails with rude jokes in them and she usually includes quite suggestive comments too.

she even commented in one "bet you're not getting much with memoo being all fat and pregnant"

Yesterday DH said when she was showing him something on his computer she was leant over him almost shoving her boobs in the back of his head!!!

DH says if it carrys on he is going to have a chat with his boss.

but why the feck does somebody think its ok to behave like this with a married man!!!!

I am stunned that people on this thread have any doubt that the DH in this case is being harrassed. IF he was encouraging it he would surely just keep quiet about it?

Yes, I have been groped in the office, yes I have had a woman just ask me straight out very personal and very lewd questions. It happens to men - just like it happens to women.

Quite right ABD; the machismo on this thread is quite startling.

DandyLioness - I am sure as a lawyer you will also know how difficult it is to prove bullying is happening. After all I am sure that any decent QC cross examining the DH in this case if he made a formal complaint against the woman and his firm could make it sound like the DH is imagining all of this or the DH didn't try hard enough to stop it or even that it was him that was encouraging it or even him that was harrasing the woman and it was him that was enjoying it.

I am quite sure the woman would be happy to testify in that direction as well.

He needs to keep a journal of every comment, action made by this woman and as i said on page 1 of this thread take it to his boss first. There is no telling what this woman may say or do if he confronts her first.

I would very much suspect that only a tiny fraction of bullying cases get anywhere near court. My experience is that mostly people just get very upset, find the formal processes very daunting (even the in house bullying routes) do nothing, hope that things will get better, the other person will leave, or that something will come up that will change the situation.

I would suggest that Mr Memoo goes to his HR team and asks for advice on how to handle the situation. If he feels he has their support he may find it easier to take more decisive action, and the e-mails are probably the way to go about it. Making a record of every event (even past ones) would be helpful too.

There is nothing wrong with enlisting support with this sort of thing, office intrigue or any sort can be incredibly difficult to manage effectively.

ABetaDad et al - I am not ruling out sexual harassment. I am just saying it is less likely; as women do that less; correct me if I am wrong. I am not being macho, I am just using my real world experience.

I am also saying before we get legal, OP should just ask her DH "the honey can you handle this one question and see what he says".

ABetaDad - a husband would hide it if he wants an affair but if he just finds it flattering he might not. And then some people like their partner to know that other people find them attractive. This isn't that uncommon. A sort of validation.

Again, I am not ruling out harassment but I think OP could quickly work out whether her DH feels harassed.

I'm not convinced this is a sexual harrssment case. Re-read the OP - her main concern is that her husband is married and that this woman is flirting with him, not that he is being bullied or humiliated.

If this was SH then his relationship status would be irrelevant - or does OP think it's ok to make sexy jokes to people in the workplace as long as they're single?

I got the impression the op was more 'back off, he's married' than 'stop bullying my DH in the workplace'.

Agreed MorrisZap; and hopefully the OW's career will not be wrecked without DH giving her a signal/chance to back off. It would not be greta or fair if he has been enjoying it and then reports her in order to prove his innocence to DW without signalling to OW.

After all some (harmless) flirting does happen in the workplace even if not PC. And sometime that happens with married (monogamous) people altho' they usually remember to cut if off for obvious reasons.