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AIBU?

people smoking in cars with children

126 replies

motherbeyond · 03/07/2009 16:31

Am guessing most people feel this same about this subject.I was just out in our village with my 2.A car pulled up and two women got out of the car smoking.Fair enough.They then proceeded to open the back doors and let two primary school children out and a toddler.This makes my blood boil.What are these people thinking.It's bad enough when they are walking along pushing a buggy with a fag in their hand,at least they're outside.To trap children ina car and force them to inhale fumes from their death sticks,is beyond comprehension.one word springs to mind.scum.Harsh,but true imo

OP posts:

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random · 03/07/2009 18:01

Disgusting habit

Nancy66 · 03/07/2009 18:06

I hate smoking ...but I do get misty eyed when I look at all the family snaps of me as a baby and my dad cradling me with the ash from his fag about a centimetre from my face.

motherbeyond · 03/07/2009 18:07

I'm new here so didn't realise this was a common topic..although that sounds really stupid now ive said it.Of course it would be.I agree about the smug ex-smoker thing by the way,but don't think i am at all.How can i be when i have never done it.I remember being in a car with someone once who had a small child and was smoking.I was 18 and very unsure of myself I was desperate to say something,but didn'h have the nerve.I was a full on smoker at that point,by the way,was dying for a fag..but would never in a million years have smoked in a car with that baby.I just remember thinking,this poor kid,i want to get out and not be involved in this...so there you go.I did not say anything to the women today,I thought if theyre prepared to do that to their kids they obviously don't give a shit about anyone,or anything.would rather not risk confrontation with people like that.Also would hesitate to say anything with my children present incase they said something bad...and then i would be forced to open a rather large can of whoop ass!(before anyone says i'm just as bad,i is jokin'!)

OP posts:

missmelly · 03/07/2009 18:08

I smoke, outside, never around my baby. No need to smoke in a car at all, it can wait.

motherbeyond · 03/07/2009 18:49

well that's your perogative.Have to admit,we've just returned from a holiday in the sun,and my husband occasionaly has a cigar (the small thin one's,i can say he's probably has maybe 5 this year,so was suprised when he bought some whilst we were abroad..but anyway)he had one on the balcony whilst i was reading.I jokingly asked for a puff and at first thought ,yuk!Then i had a few drinks and said,gimme one of those things!!I smoked the whole thing(it's scry how quickly you can fall back into it..although i don't think i could stomach a fag ever again!)anyway,my 15 month old woke up and started cring and i went into soothe him.I immediately felt completely disgusted with myself.I didn't want to touch him until i'd washed the smell off my hand's,or kiss him til id brushed my teeth..and i even felt guilty that he'd smell it off my clothes.I felt i'd really let them down.Im sure it sounds ott but that's how it felt.So,to that end, i cannot for the life of me,understand how people rationalise it to themselves,that it's ok to smoke round children

OP posts:

motherbeyond · 03/07/2009 18:52

sorry about mistypes..am lazy and not very practised typer

OP posts:

Morloth · 03/07/2009 19:04

We smoke cigar occassionally - have had a couple lately with the nice summer nights outside.

I don't feel guilty at all, I enjoy it a great deal. DS has seen us smoke them (but never in the house), we view them the same way as other "vices" they happen very rarely and they are very very good ones. If DS grows up to enjoy the occasional cigar with a glass of wine every 6 months I won't consider that a disaster.

Boys2mam · 03/07/2009 19:06

I, for one, have never smoked so the evangelical ex-smoker does not apply to me, yet I still think its disgusting.

My mother smokes and if I'm ever in the car with her without my DS's (she wouldn't dream of smoking with them in the car) and she lights up, I open the window and practically hang out of it to avoid the choking smoke. Its foul, I'm all for personal choice, so please yourselves (can't see the appeal myself but ho hum) but don't put your poor children through it.

Dysgu · 03/07/2009 19:09

I had this thought earlier today in supermarket car park - although don't recall actually thinking scum but was probably along those lines.

What appeared to be baby boy (seemed around 6 months as seemed similar to DD2 who is that age right now) was carried to car by mum with grandma pushing the trolley.

Baby put into lovely carseat in back of car - all reclining and made me quite jealous as DD2 just gets our old Graco that I think she flops a bit in(!) and then, after unloading shopping, Mum and grandma both lit up before driving off.

I have never smoked so can't say how desperate you might be for a fag after a trip round the super market, but it did strike me as very nasty to smoke in the car with little baby. I would not and do not let anyone smoke around my children - or me, ideally, either.

MadHairDay · 03/07/2009 19:10

My dad trapped us in the car with his fags all the time as kids. I wouldn't say he was scum, a strong word there, and prob not even thoughtless as there just wasn't the knowledge at the time.
However, I ended up with chronic degenerative lung disease. Can't have helped, so YANBU. I do admit to judging if I see people doing this, because I know what a struggle life has been for me.

letsgostrawberrypicking · 03/07/2009 19:12

yanbu

Rafi · 03/07/2009 19:29

I think it was different before people knew how dangerous it was, but now? When the warnings are everywhere?

I'd go with scum.

FairLadyRantALot · 03/07/2009 19:44

erm op...now you are not making sense to me as you said in one post that you can't be a holier than thou ex-smoker, because you never were a smoker, and than go into a story of being a passenger in someones car who smoked whilst kid in there and you mention that you felt uncomfy dispite craving a fag ????????????

Boys2mam · 03/07/2009 19:49

Erm, FairLady, I was the non smoker - OP said she smoked pre-pregnancy....

Devongirl · 03/07/2009 20:00

YANBU scum scum scum

chegirl · 03/07/2009 20:12

Its amazing how much has changed in a relatively few years.

When I was a kid is was perfectly acceptable to be dandled on your grandads (or granma's) knee whilst having woodbine smoke blown in your face (I have the photos to prove it).

Then we moved on to just smoking around kids (my dad was an 80 a dayer at one point). I am sure I used to be sent to get his fags.

Then it was smoking in another room or only when the kids went to bed.

Then it was on the balcony or in the garden.

Now I really cringe at the thought of anyone who has just had a fag even touching a newborn.

I remember clearly my dad smoking in hospital (actually in bed), teachers smoking in class and the underground being thick with fag smoke.

Its much better now and I am not rabidly anti smokers. Its up to the individual if they want to but its really hard to understand why anyone would now we know all we do.

I love to smoke when I go out for a drink. I feel soooo norty.

But YANBU OP. The only thing worse is smoking in a car with kids not strapped in whilst talking on your mobile.

FairLadyRantALot · 03/07/2009 20:14

no...boys...don't think I got this confused...meant this post by op:
"By motherbeyond on Fri 03-Jul-09 18:07:37 I'm new here so didn't realise this was a common topic..although that sounds really stupid now ive said it.Of course it would be.I agree about the smug ex-smoker thing by the way,but don't think i am at all.How can i be when i have never done it....(well and then the following, but am losing the will here with the highlightin ..I remember being in a car with someone once who had a small child and was smoking.I was 18 and very unsure of myself I was desperate to say something,but didn'h have the nerve.I was a full on smoker at that point,by the way,was dying for a fag..but would never in a million years have smoked in a car with that baby.I just remember thinking,this poor kid,i want to get out and not be involved in this...so there you go.I did not say anything to the women today,I thought if theyre prepared to do that to their kids they obviously don't give a shit about anyone,or anything.would rather not risk confrontation with people like that.Also would hesitate to say anything with my children present incase they said something bad...and then i would be forced to open a rather large can of whoop ass!(before anyone says i'm just as bad,i is jokin'!) "

motherbeyond · 03/07/2009 20:16

fairlady,maybe you did mean me and i wasn't clear when i said i had never done it..what i meant was had never smoked in car with child.Also my cousin used to smoke pot infront of her child when i was a teenager (she was older than me but had had her child very young)Again, i was no saint (12 years ago..a lot changes!)and i look back and wish id had the balls to say something to her.I don't have a relationship with her now because of how i feel about how she treated her child.There were other things she did too,that should never have been witnessed by a child.I felt i didnt want that type of person in my life,if even at arms length.Morloth ..thanks for making me feel better about cigars,might nip out with my v&t into the garden now the rain has stoppedmadhairday..i would not class your dad as scum!!it was so different back then..we didn't have the information we do now..Id love to hear someone try to defend themselves if they do it though!...now,where did i put my big wooden spoon..

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FairLadyRantALot · 03/07/2009 20:17

oh right...that makes sense...

FairLadyRantALot · 03/07/2009 20:18

like I said...I agree with you, and am an ex-smoker, but nt smug, as far as I am aware....lol

Boys2mam · 03/07/2009 20:18

Sorry FairLady, I read as OP as ex-smoker though never having smoked in the car with the DC's.....

SerendipitousHarlot · 03/07/2009 20:19

Nope it's not just you Fairlady, I'm confused also

Boys2mam · 03/07/2009 20:19

X-posts.....

FairLadyRantALot · 03/07/2009 20:20

lol...glad it isn't just me...not that it takes a lot to confuse me, lol

motherbeyond · 03/07/2009 20:30

sorry!seem to have confused everyone.am very confusing in general i find!.am probably being dense but what does op stand for?!like i said,am new to this

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