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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Omfgg i so wanted to say something!!

110 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2009 17:29

I was just walking along with ds1 and ds2 and I saw this little girl a bit younger than ds2 in a stroller, my first thought was "Oh unusual for a girl she is not very pretty" I looked up from the pram to see her parents a woman who looked about 15 and MY EX HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should probably explain, I got married in september 2003 and in October 2005 he left me. his reasons? well he had got his leave to remain in the UK and his passport. It was not until we split I found out his father had a wife already lined up for him and had done for 6 years. SO basically he married me so he could bring her over.

I am not sure how I feel I know I have moved on and had a baby with my new partner but.....
before we split he made me go through hell and always told me he couldn't have children.

OP posts:
FenellaFudge · 01/07/2009 17:59

Oh, I see its not a fast-typing-thing but a busted-spacebar-thing.

sweetfall · 01/07/2009 17:59

Babies, toddlers and kids can all be ugly

Ugly kids can become beautiful adults

Beautiful kids can become ugly adults

Of course its not right to say it to anyone's face but you can articulate it in a description surely

FenellaFudge · 01/07/2009 18:00

...and thats not to say we shouldn't challenge our own thoughts as they happen, I do and I'm sure most of us do.

Noonki · 01/07/2009 18:01

my DS2 was an ugly baby we all knew it!

he is a beautiful toddler though...

that aside did you speak to him?

Littlepurpleprincess · 01/07/2009 18:02

It is a little harsh to call a baby ugly but be honest, some are funny looking aren't they?

Sometimes it makes them all the more cute, sometimes you have to pretend they are cute when speaking to the parent's

Confuzzeled · 01/07/2009 18:03

Guy sounds like a twunt and your best away from him. A real shame he used you but hey, he's got an ugly child..... what goes around comes around.

sweetfall · 01/07/2009 18:04

"challenge my own thoughts"

heavens forfend

what would I do that fur?

kittywise · 01/07/2009 18:06

Some babies are very very ugly indeed though

notconvincedofthedanger · 01/07/2009 18:10

But the little girl not being very pretty is irelevant.

And beauty is subjective anyway. And surely the op must have either thought something of her xh to have married him, so his looks appear to have been irelevant at the time? So why are his daughter's looks relevant?

sweetfall · 01/07/2009 18:12

this guy was a tosser - and look he has an ug'y baby

seems kinda relevant to me

mwahahahahahaa

lemoniee · 01/07/2009 18:13

at she didn't look very pretty = she looked like a boy
All three of my boys were ( are) utterly gorgeous, thank you, and I don't think that's unusual.
You may think a baby is not very pretty but it is sort of one of these things you shouldn't really say and especially if it's totally irrelevant to the situation.

FenellaFudge · 01/07/2009 18:13

Gosh "challenge our own thoughts" does sound twattish doesn't it?

I have been blessed with a resting facial expression that resembles a greatly aggrieved fish-wife, but I hope that when people look at me and think I'm possibly out to batter someone they might also consider that some of us just have That Kind Of Face.

Thats kind of what I meant.

Greensleeves · 01/07/2009 18:14

YAY I have a new keyboard

I think it was vindictive to say his baby wasn't pretty, it wasn't at all the same as seeing a kids and thinking "good grief" to yourself - you posted it because you were thinking "haha, and his baby is ugly"

which is horrid

sweetfall · 01/07/2009 18:14

I'm not pickin' on you honest but ..

I really can't help myself

'fishwife' and 'batter someone' did you mean to? did you? did you?

FenellaFudge · 01/07/2009 18:17

If only that had been on purpose!

NeedaNewName · 01/07/2009 18:24

FFS not all babies are beautiful you know. Its not like the OP said th her ex 'my god what an ugly baby you have there'. In fact the OP didn;t even use the word ugly, she said not pretty - big difference.

If she had said out loud to the childs parents - wow your baby's ugly (or even not that pretty) then yes flame her, but FFS get a grip people, it was an observation!

Morloth · 01/07/2009 18:24

Greensleeves if someone had fucked me over the way it sounds like the OP's ex did her I would be thinking "haha, sucked in ugly baby!" along with "thank god I didn't breed with him".

CyradisTheSeer · 01/07/2009 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DanieC · 01/07/2009 18:48

i have to say that theres loads of ugly babys out there it dont matter what you think about them as long as the parents dont hear ya! lol my babies weren't what i'd call beautiful at birth but yeah they grew into there faces and now there gorgeous! fairy cake i agree with you!
glad you aint stuck with someone like that ladyevenstar! just think if you'd been the mother of an ugly child lmao!!!

Shellseeker · 01/07/2009 18:59

As long as their mummy loves them,what does it matter what (or who) they look like?

expatinscotland · 01/07/2009 19:02

i'd have reported his book ass to the HO and got his ass deported.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 01/07/2009 19:24

Expat, I did but by then he had his leave to remain. he was very cunning and stayed married to me exactly one month over the required time before he left.

I never spoke to him at all, he spoke to me and ds1 i simply blanked him when I realised who it was and ds1 glared at him. Before we walked past him.

OP posts:
Mutt · 01/07/2009 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

totalmisfit · 01/07/2009 19:31

if a man had treated me this way i think i'd feel entitled to gloat secretly if the kids he had with his new wife (the woman he used her in order to marry) weren't that cute. it's not as if she went up to them and pointed, whilst making childish fun-poking noises or anything...

TrillianAstrahasaJOB · 01/07/2009 19:34

So only shallow people look into prams and think 'that baby is not very pretty' Mutt?