In thinking BFing baby in a baby change with a queue outside the door is selfish and a bit mingin'.

[Confuzzeled]

Went to a busy garden center today, dd had a poo. All the toilets had queues, even the disabled loo.

Stood in the queue for the baby change for about ten minutes, Mummy's and kiddies going in and out pretty quick. The couple in front of me had a girl about 4 months old (can't be sure but she was holding her head up strongly and was quite big).

They went into the baby change and after about 5 minutes the woman behind me told me to knock on the door. I said to wait another couple of minutes as it could've been a messy one. So another 5 minutes later the woman behind me tells me to knock on the door again, I was just thinking about doing it anyway. So I knock on the door and shout "Is everything okay?".

There was no answer so I knocked again. Still no answer so the woman behind me pushes past and hammers on the door, she shouts "Can you hurry up, there's a queue out here".

There's no answer so the woman grabs a passing member of staff who knocks then unlocks the door. I can see the woman sitting on the baby change counter feeding her baby while the man is sitting on the child toilet. The staff member just asks them if they are okay, closes the door and locks it again. The woman behind me is furious and hammers on the door shouting "This is a toilet not a bloody feeding room". Then she stands behind me as the couple come out. The mum who was feeding glowers at my dd and says "She should be using a toilet by now anyway". I say "What? She's 2" and because I'm annoyed that she's picked on my dd I say "Feeding your baby in a toilet is disgusting and bloody selfish". Then I slam the door before she can reply.

I change dd at light speed and head out, the couple are looking at cards right outside the door to the toilets and she calls me a twat when I walk past. I make a show of covering dd's ears and say loudly "Don't you dare swear in front of my daughter". Everyone looked at her in a very disapproving way.

So while I'm a huge advocate for bfing, having bf my dd until she stopped herself and will bf my ds thats due in August, I honestly think it's selfish to bf a baby in a busy baby change.

YANBU - waiting waiting for 10 mins with a stinky toddler (and others in the queue) is like an hour in Real Time . If as you said there were other options for the BF then I would have been pretty annoyed too

Well i think it all sounds a nightmare.

I'd have been annoyed at waiting that long for a changing room for baby and do think the other lady was inconsiderate.

Also knowing how vile most baby changing facilities are there's no way i'd spend more than the bare minimum in one.

But i've always been confident to bf in public.

Hope you've calmed down now though.

Im pretty shocked people suggest changing toddlers in toilets, yuk!

Sorry for being so long it's been dinner and bath time here at Castle Greyskull

Okay we've established I was rude and should not have said what I did, I'm just answering questions and comments now.

Jellybeans - I DID NOT say bf was disgusting or selfish, so don't dare try and accuse me of that.

I'm sorry but I don't think anyone should have to eat in a place where people go to the toilet and change nappies, I do think thats disgusting. The room was not set up to be a feeding room in any way, and why should it be, this is Scotland and it's the law that any woman can feed her baby in public. If someone doesn't want to feed their child in public then why should they make other children wait a long time, I think that is selfish. When you have kids you tend to become more tollerant and try and be kind to other parents as most the time you understand what they're going through.

Hercules & Casserole your right.

Violet - your right I was unreasonable re rudeness but not about the babychange. Thank you.

Megapixels, I said they probably had a car not they did have a car and I was only saying that because people had assumed I'd had a car. Yes, silly I know.

Policywonk, thanks, I don't do flouncing, thats why I asked in aibu and I think people should have the right to defend themselves if they don't post everything in the first post.

Curry - I did swear when she came out the loo, after the woman behind me and after she'd poked at my child for not being toilet trained.

Reallytired (I like your name, me too) - my spd is not the end of the world pain but bending over in tight spaces and standing up for long periods of time can get nasty. The cubicles really are tiny and I would have ended up with poop everywhere. Of course I would have done it if there was no option, I've changed dd in some extreme places. But if there is a places for changing kids why make do elsewhere. Maybe she had reasons for feeding her baby there, we'll never know unless she reads this.

Ray81, thats why I said anything at all and why I got angry. All my family are telling me I need to toilet train dd 2.2yo but midwife and hv have told me to wait until after I've had this baby. It does wind me up.

Sorry about grammer, spelling and not answering everyone. Off to do bedtime.

actually i would have to agree with changing a toddler in a public toilet being yuk.

The op is 32 weeks pregnant and lets face it she would have had to lay her child on the floor and even if she had a changing matt she still would have had to got down on her hands and knees to change the nappy. this is a floor that countless people have walked on with god knows whats on there shoes, and which probably hasnt been cleaned properly for months.
The op didnt have a choice of where to change the nappy the BF lady had a choice.

Hmm, that's a good point about Scotland having the pro-breastfeeding laws The poor woman in the changing room must really, really hate feeding in public.

I wouldn't want to change a child on the floor of a toilet. Let's be frank - they're covered in piss.

Butterfly World sounds as though it needs MORE FACILITIES FOR BABIES.

As for toilet training - don't sweat it, really. I've forcibly trained one child at 3 (effing nightmare) and let the other decide when he wanted to train. There really is no comparison - the later you leave it, the easier it is.

To echo policywonk she must also really hate feeding in public if she was with her DP and still would rather use a changing facility.

I mean with someone else you'd normally feel a bit more confident or could use them to shield you from people's view.

I do think they were inconsiderate though but i guess its syptomatic of people just thinking about themselves at the expense of others.

I can actually see the OP's point here. I think it was selfish of the woman to occupy a baby change area for 15 minutes when she could see that there was a large queue. Surely it would have been more pleasant, hygenic and more relaxed to have fed her outside the public toilet! It was also a bit unreasonable for her partner to not answer the door when you knocked initially. Having said that, you definitely shouldn't have sworn at her, especially in front of the children, although I can understand your frustration and how SPD can make your temper a bit short!!

oh my god. i cant belive how much u lot can go on about nothing. i only just joined and the first thing i read bord me so much i couldn't read it all. i mean i love a good winge but this takes the biscuit. get over it she fed the baby in the changin room, u lot have probley spent more time discussin it than she spent in ther.

Message withdrawn

PMSL at charlot

Welcome to MN! If you think this thread is an epic waste of time, prepare to be amazed...

Thanks ray81, though I have changed dd on toilet floors in the past sacrificing my jacket or shopping bag. It was the bending over in a tight space I would have found hard, I may have got down but not back up (which is what got me into this situation in the first place, har har).

Rince, I hope I don't sound like a p&t thread, that is irritating
I also know what it's like to feed a 4 month old on demand with growth spurts, no sleep, pnd and I still would not have made a whole queue of people wait 15 minutes while I fed in a minging baby change. (I had already waited for 10 minutes by the time they went in, thats how I got 25 minutes in total).
"I mean, the audacity to think she could take her small baby out on a Sunday afternoon and feed it as and where she felt best!" Thats a little sarcastic and makes out like I'm flaming her for bf in public. The point was she sat in a toilet that is a baby change (on quite a high up counter that must have been difficult to balance on) and made a whole queue of people wait outside.

Policy & Tracy, I didn't think she must hate feeding in public, I just thought she was being selfish, so perhaps I was being out of order. I will send Dobbies an email suggesting they create a baby feeding room with separate toilet facilities, maybe they just need more people to suggest it.

Looby, your right, I did loose the rag a bit and have been well flamed by other posters.

Charlot your right, I don't get out much, I should get a hobby.

MissSunny I didn't think bloody was a swear either really until someone pointed it out. They were right to though, I wouldn't want my dd to say it. I do think twat is bad though.

Confuzzeled, although I think YABU regarding this incident, you do actually come across as a very reasonable person in general .

Good luck with your pg & spd - I hope you have an easy run in.

Rofl at charlot.
perfect.

Charlot - you do realise that you have just joined in too now though don't you?
Your post should say we go on about nothing - we have spent more time discussing it than she spent in there.
Welcome

i did spell check it though. xx

Thanks Rind, sorry, I just noticed I got your name wrong.

Pag

Gosh, 32 weeks pregnant, SPD and with a toddler. And what do the compassionate mn's lot do - flame her.

OK, maybe she should not have said bloody, but can you remember what it is like at 32 weeks pregnant? And having a toddler (with smelly pooh).

As for adding stuff after the first post, of course she will defend herself. I found some of the posts a bit nasty.

Hope you are feeling a bit better now Confuzzeled.

Thanks chesshirekitty, feel fine now.

Was worked up at the time and since I'm so hormonal I asked what others thought. I think people can be pretty harsh on MN but I'm used to it now. I like MN and if I got easily offended I wouldn't post here.

Thanks for thinking of me though

YANBU. Changing room is changing room. The other lady may not like bf in public but there are other options - if it was a mother & baby room then of course but it was a changing room with a tolet in.

YANBU. Toilets ae not for feeding babies. You wouldn't eat your lunch in a public toilet, so why should your baby? It is a bit unconsiderate to inconvenience several people (in the queue) just because you have issues (wanting to bf in private).

YANBthatU. She was inconsiderate at best, but I would cut her some slack considering she presumed it was you banging and shouting. The woman behind you in the queue sounded like a right bitch.

I hated it when I was told to bf in the toilet. But some cafe staff etc are funny like that. The one that really wound me up was being asked to take dd aside at the paedicatric clinic. I was quite happy to feed her in public, I wanted to be there to hear when they called her name, but the nurses insisted that I would feel more comfortable in a private room. At the bloody baby clinic