ok...will try this again, aibu to be put off a school by the amount of children with SN?

[daftpunk]

posted this in education, (Pre-school, like the twit that i am).....my ds is due to start secondary school in 2 years so we're looking around already, i am a bit put off by a school with lots of SN children, as SN also means behaviour problems....i'm not sure if i am being unreasonable.

rhubarb, thats a good point, and its well taken

in the days when I thought I was the mother of two NT children, I remember feeling rather pleased that things had changed from my day when children with SN were basically hidden away in some special building or school regardless of whether they could have coped with mainstream or not

pleased that things have changed from the days when 'He's in the Special Class', spoken with a little curl of the lip, was the nearest a lot of children got to SN

pleased that at least my children would not have to fight their own way out of this miasma of fear caused by unfamiliarity and misunderstanding

that they wouldn't feel scared or not know how to talk to someone in a wheelchair or with Downs syndrome or with a tic

That is an excellent post, Cory.
I agree.

Cory, that is an excellent point and something I have just been pondering about...
I love living in a diverse culture...I love that my children go to school wiht a wide variety of people, from different social cultural backgrounds and people with disabilities, etc.....because I feel that because of that they will learn so much more, something that couldn't be taught....I hope they learn compassion and tolerance and understanding for other people....I hope it will make them more rounded people....and in an utopian kind a way I would love that with inclusion will come the day people may can just live with eachother, embrace their differences and use it for the greater advantage....but, yeah....I know very utopian....

I came within a very tiny inch of choosing a school that is joined to the sn school here in my town. They share play equipment and have assemblies together and have trips to visit each other etc.
That was the only pull the school had though, it wasn't right for dd, but I wish it had been.
So instead we'll be doing something somewhere once she is settled at school. I don't know what though - how to access life enhancing experiences for my family, without being a patronising bitch. 'excuse me teacher of sn school, may my child come and look at your sn children to make her nice' smacks of smuggery and seems insulting to the sn children and parents. It's tricky!

get involved with something like riding for the disabled...or some such thing?

treedelivery there are ways of doing it.
there used to be alovely family down the road, ds(nt) was mates with the son and the dd befriended dd, it was lovely she came round and played with dd, in the end the 4 of them would play together.
is there someone of your childs age in your area who they could get friendly with who has sn?

oooo thanks! Thats exactly what I would like to foster - kids just playing, y'know? Not 'lets go look at the special ones and see if we can help' type attitude. That makes me feel uncomfortable

Wonder if the sn school have any open days or anything . Will have to look into it all more. They might have some idea of playgroups and so on.

We have a few riding schools, thats a good idea too.

there is a riding for he disabled website that comes up when you google that will give you info about riding schools that do riding for the disabled and also give info about volunteering, etc.....

Thank you Fairlady! Will check it out.

you could be sneaky
find out if your area has a childrens disabilitie team(social services) if so contact them, they might be able to put you in contact with a lonely mum and a new play mate for your dc.

I have a daughter with additional needs who goes to a special school with lots of other children with additional needs... learning, behaviour, medical. It's one of the nicest, well equipped schools I have ever been in to.
I work in education.
When she was little I applied to our local OFSTEAD outstanding school and explained her needs... they didn't want her... her SATs results would have driven their score down ( she wasn't statemented at that point)
I chose to send my ds to a private school rather than send him to the school that wouldn't take my daughter.
Both my children are doing really well and both have opportunities that they would have missed out on at aforementioned OFSTEAD outstanding school.
Perhaps you should focus your search on a school that is only interested in SATs results... they won't put up with SEN.
Disclaimer... I am more than aware that many schools which are OFSTEAD outstanding are brilliant schools... my dd's special school is one of them!
BUT... some schools aren't interested in SEN... just like yourself... try one of them.

2shoes - I wouldn't have dreamt of that ever. Thank you - I will. I'll let you know how we get on.
I'm a bit lonely as a mum and dd really needs a playmate bless her. We have a playroom and buckets of stuff and space. Could be good!

Sorry not read whole thread,but just wanted to say that dd1 has several sn kids in her classes and never once has she said they cause problems,in fact its a couple of others who throw things,hit etc.So please dont judge a school by number of sn kids.Choose a school on its merits.

YABU.SN does not mean behaviour problems.
DD3 17 has dyspraxia and she does not have any behavioral problems. She did have some problems at school with bullying from "Normal" children becuase she was difernt.

"that a high proportion of SN doesn't concern you then as distasteful as that sounds, then you are a liar."

I am not concerned and I am not a liar.

I refuse to feel sorry for DP. She hold views on many (most) subjects that I find repugnant. And she got called on one of those views. Well, good! I wish I could hope that it will teach her to watch what she says. God knows it probably won't tell her to watch what she thinks.

If that is vindictive then so be it. I am not a vindictive person but DP makes me angry.

Let the thread die. DOn't give it the dignity of killing it off.

Cory that was an excellent post yes.

one iof the things that has stood me in greatest dstead for the alst few eyars has been the fact that my rather progressive school classes included 2 children with brain damage- one at catastrophic CP level and one who could walk aided (result of a car accident and coma at 11).

Whilst had to readjust and deal with the whole grief thing I didn't have to move to an entirely new world. I had a bit of nursing experience as well and the whole result was a lack of fear (not of what it would mean for the boys- nothing can take that away) of disability.

DS2's sen and ds1's SN indeed) was picked up well into school; should they ahev to transfer immediately they get an IEP I wonder? Do they change eprsonality the minute it isn picked up? Think not!

There are a few times SN ? SEN in a school would flag questions for me as an experienced Mother Of Many but the presence isn't one.

When I would ask more questions (as in, not assume) would be:

If there are many kids on SEN Reg but onely one or two statemented (can mean either wonderful provision or a complete and utter lack of- andworst of all when there are NO sen kids on register; that was the caseat the boys old school and I swear thestaff go blindfolded with fingers in theirears yelling lalalarather than see it. I have no kids there now but still help parents there negotiate the SN system as it is so Shit (they have one statement now, peaked at 2 I beleive. In 225 kids. Likely, huh? I know children there with epilepsy and what i would consider likely ASD who don't even have an IEP becuase SENCO is giving out wrong forms and not organising anything- I'd be far mroe wary of that than anything else in all honesty.

I chose my ds's school on the basis of it having a Language Unit there with SALT. I didn't know anything really about ds having HFA at that point but he was a bit quirky and I just had an instinct that a school with that kind of provision would be more accepting of him. I was right.

So you could say that I chose my NT (so I thought at the time) ds's school on the basis of its special educational needs provision. It seemed to me that it might be a more nurturing environment and I wasn't wrong.

I have to say until I read this thread I would not have imagined that anyone would feel negatively about a school because of the amount of SN or SEN kids in it. It would not have occurred to me. I would only have seen it as a positive thing. You might have moan or concern about a child who you maybe had some experience with but that would also be the case with NT kids. I feel very saddened by this thread but certainly had my eyes opened, which I suppose is a good thing.

this nasty thread is still going......

I have to say that I hope the people who fear sn so much wrap their dc's up in cotton wool,
they are only a car crash away from a wheelchair, a pond a way from a brain injury and a inlness away from brain damage.
perhaps a plastic bubble would help

sunfleur, the SALt units here won't admit kidswith even the tiniest possibility of asd and are separate.

I would send ds4 to DS3's school though as it IS a caring friendly palce- presumably why ds3's SNU is there!

ahh..2shoes....ambassador of optimism..

Sorry Peachy, he is not in the SALT unit but does have SALT provision separately. There are a number of understanding and aware staff in the school because of the unit being there though.

I really hope you get booted off here DP, another incendiary little comment to get everyone riled up again when things are calming down and the discussion is becoming useful.

You seem terribly attention seeking, you might want to see someone about that.