ok...will try this again, aibu to be put off a school by the amount of children with SN?

[daftpunk]

posted this in education, (Pre-school, like the twit that i am).....my ds is due to start secondary school in 2 years so we're looking around already, i am a bit put off by a school with lots of SN children, as SN also means behaviour problems....i'm not sure if i am being unreasonable.

2shoes what is she on about?

i have no idea what you are talking about fio?

harleyd why ask me?

because i appear to have been accused of talking about you and getting comments deleted?

im kinda baffled

Jumente, why are you apologising, that was not an aggressive post.

i think my only posts that have ever been deleted are ones where i have told people to fuck off and they have been offended
and a couple of personal threads that i started for advice and asked mnhq to delete

'There is a parent at my son's school who looked very apprehensive when I told her that my ds had autism and I could almost see it ticking over in her mind how it was going to affect "my child" who is in the same class, never mind she had no reason to know anything and ds had been in her childs class for 4 terms without incident. This thread made me feel like I felt when I saw her silly, ignorant face.'

Sunfleur- hugs

DS3 is in a SNU now, but was in MS for a year until Easter. The attitudes of the other parents to a docile passive little boy were awful. They got nasty with me for monopoilising his 1-1's time by handing him over in the mornings (and on several occasions actively blocked me from getting to her, leading on one occasion to ds3 getting so upset I had to pull him out for a morning) and I was so happy when he was offered the SNU. At the statement review for the SNU place the main issue was safety, but I did cry a bit explaining about the problems we have had at school - there are threads on here somewhere from when I was threatened by a parent (the same one actively blocking me from the 1-1, she and I sadly have children all the same age) and so scared I coudln't go to school alone for a while. In retrospect I should have called the police.

Obv that is extreme- the downside of being catchment for a very attractive and popular school- but I well remember feeling as you do now and how horrid it was.

Dp you are a disgrace and if Mn has any sense you will be kicked out of here as fast as you appeared.I hope to god all the parents at these schools are as judgey as you and give you a wide berth Shocking

Peachy I remember your posts about that parent.

Peachy forgive me but I don't understand - the one-to-one support is for your DS right? And other parents thought it was wrong he should get that? That's horrendous :

Thanks Burningup, I'm glad you think so...but I just felt the need for my own sense of dignity I suppose!

Without wanting to sound too mysterious there are concerns and DP knows this. Maybe she will tone it down a fraction.

Claire I know, but the situation was that she was the old class NNEB: in truth I think ds3 was ripped off as previous classes would have had am NNEB but she was allocated to ds3 and another girl. So I think that this Mum took it personally.

Now, there were other kids in the class benefitting from the 1-1.... a friends child has delays which we know now are linked to epilepsy and probably AS, and another child terminal cancer , and I didn't mind that one bit, but someaprents there were known for not seeing beyond their precious darlings.

reality;...i'm sorry about that post...it was completely inappropriate.

i have apologised for this thread, i have learnt from it and want to move on and put it behind me.
i get alot of support from mumsnet...it's a fantastic place, i hope you will let me recover from this.
i may well get "booted off" mumsnet....incase i do...i'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has helped and supported me...i have had some fantastic times on here...it's a brilliant place.

live by the sword...die by the sword..

Good lord Dp you really have a nerve! BTW have they seen your ridiculous hair?They may not want your sort in the school.Not nice is it?

Sorry DP but no chance. You have been playing with people and you know it. I would have liked to have liked you but your behaviour has been repugnant. There's no excuse.

i don;t think you should be booted off MN

but you need to think before you post

or

take the flak that comes with posting the things you post

it is not like this is the first thread of yours or one you have been on has gone pear shaped due to some very odd/offensive views you hold, adn your seeming lack of ability to actually consider other people's feelings

you may feel you were 'broken' by a previous post, but i assure you plenty of other MNers have been equally bruised and hurt by things you have said

you need to consider that too

FGS let the bloody thread die! All this tit for tat, it doesn't do anyone any good at all.

It wasn't a nice thread, we get the picture. I was pretty insulted myself by it all. But these insults flying back and forth - makes you more like children than adults.

I think DP has got the message. Now it's turning nasty just for the sake of being nasty. Not so much as being offended by the thread and more to do with having a go at DP. She's apologised. Whatever you think of her, it's time to let this one go.

DP, your best bet is to delete it.

Peachy that is just awful . I thought I was up against it sometimes but that just takes the cake. Such a difficult situation aggravated by such extreme ignorance. Every day when I drop ds of I leave the school grounds feeling like the world is on my shoulders, wondering how today will be, would be a million times worse to have to deal with that as well. I would probably have a nervous breakdown.

Anyway, was a good day today, ds came home with a sticker for being so good and we are all happy .

I am glad that I posted on this thread in the end even though I got all emotional , it was under my skin and now I feel better.

DP I wish I knew what your motives really were in posting this. I am sure you are sorry and did not anticipate what was unleashed but a little tiny part of you must have had some idea. Small children are untouchable aren't they? SN children even more so because of their lack of awareness, they have absolutely no way to defend themselves. My ds can't even tell me when another kid hits him at school, when people get angry and shout at him he just doesn't process it, just becomes terrified and will have a huge meltdown after the event. It is a huge thing for me to entrust teachers and other children with my ds, he is just so innocent and it crucifies me to think that on top of what he deals with their are adults who should know better being negative towards him for something he can't help amd thinking only of how it affects THEM and THEIR lives.

sorry rhubs, i tried to post earlier, but could not as MN was playing up.

i was frustrated and insulted by what DP had written, and i don;t think it is remiss to actually say so.

i've not been insulting or childish in the slightest !

these threads always take on a life of their own.

I completely agree with you Rhubarb.

This is not just about the thread, but people grinding their axes about DP's past posts.

DP has apologised, lets hope it's a lesson learnt.

there not their

Sorry did not mean to revive this, took me ages to post.

i also don;t agree with teh ' oh you cocked up,posted something stupid, loads of people responded and were hurt, so let's delete it'

surely this whole debate around perceptions and misperceptions of SN/SEN, inclusion etc is worth having?? even if it started off on the wrong foot

it also makes a mockery of all the thoughtful and heartfelt posts that have been made if threads such as this get deleted

i disagree, teh fact the OP has managed to start lots of threads like this is relevant, if this was the first 'foot in mouth' thread, then the repsonse would have been totally different i feel

I haven't been here too long but know that DP does this regularly and uses her poor me routine to perfection when it gors pear shaped.If she gets away with crass behaviour on here god knows how she will ever learn to be decent in RL but good luck to her.She needs pity