to think that my darling teen niece has lied about something so serious she has potentially ruined someones career?

[ReesiRoo]

My lovely neice is 13 years old. Since the start of secondary school at age 11 she has been bullied. Although it has been all verbal and never violent, it has had a huge impact on her life and i've seen her go from a bubbly, confident girl to one who sits in her room constantly and doesn't know how to communicate anymore. It got to the point where DNeice was getting abuse from most of the kids in the class at every lesson, at break time, walking home from school, so it was happening several times a day. She is very bright but hates school or anything remotely academic as a result of the bullying.

My sister (neices mum) knows all about the bullying but has as much told her to get on with things and tell the kids to fuck off. Easy enough if neice was like that, but she is so painfully shy, it is never going to happen. I have thought about going into school to sort it for neice, but I didn't want anything bad to come of it, like making it worse for her, or my sister and I falling out. My neice has asked sister to move school on so many occasions, but Dsis has always refused, just for an easy life I suspect.

So now after 2 years of this DNeice has made an allegation towards one of her teachers. I can't go much into it but the teacher has been suspended and police have been involved. Dsis is STILL making DNeice go to school while all of this is happening and somehow, the kids in her class have got to know about it and as you can imagine, her life is a living hell with all the questioning and pointing, and word spreads quickly, so most of her year know about it now.

Thing is, I think my neice's allegations are false. I completely understand her reasons for coming up with this allegation, she wanted a way out, a way to actually make sis send her to a new school as it was probably the only way for her to get out of this hell hole of a school. I don't know what to do. If I ask DNeice directly, she will think I don't trust her and I am really the only adult figure in her life who she sees as reassurance and trustworthy, someone to talk to (least I hope she feels that way). Please advise.

I think something must be very wrong tbh

I think trolls like this like children who make false accusations against teachers have something very deep seated wrong and deserve pity rather than hate and I hope someone is able to give her that support. That does not mean that I do no recognise the hurt they cause. I used to teach in a school with a concerningly high rate of false accusations and it was IMO no coicedence that we also had a conerningly high number of children who were on the child protection register or who had lived with abuse or neglect.

I worked with a very very good teacher who had an unsubstantiated accusation made against him. It was made by a pupil who had a history of making allegations and a known dislike of he teacher. This remains on his file as soft information and he has been unable to get another job in a different school. What is worrying for him is that when the school he teaches in becomes an academy which I think it will he may have to reapply for his own job and risks not getting it.

I have had an acuastion made against me ( not a sexual one but that I had shoved a pupil against the wall) I went home that night warned by my union that if this carried on my face and name could be in the paper, the police would appear at my door and I would not be welcome back at work. She admitted after I went home that she had lied and this was backed up by another pupil in the class. I supported the temorary exclusion of the girl but it never entered my head to take legal action. She was a torubled girl who probaby had been shoved against a wall countless times at home. I have moved on have a new job in a different school that poor girl is still living with her home situation.

Thing is, flatcap, in all honesty, this 'story' has no basis in truth at all, because as fox pointed out, it's been done before on here.

Being a troll, she probably found it and reworked it.

But maybe there is one thing that is true and is the cause for this trolling. I don't know but my main point was that it is very rare for a child to make up a false allegation out of the blue. The abuse may be happening but just not from the teacher, they use blaming the teacher as a cry for help.

I can't endorse the view that because a child comes from a disturbed/dysfunctional background they should be allowed to "get away" with making false accusations.

Given the numbers of children coming from such environments this would open up a potential two-tier system of retribution for pupils who make such allegations. At the very least the accuser needs to have a meeting with a Community Police Officer in order to have the serious nature of their actions impressed upon them.

'But maybe there is one thing that is true and is the cause for this trolling.'

This story has been done before. The poster is a troll who has started other threads.

This is NOT true.

That is what trolls do. They lie.

The cause of their trolling is that they're fucked up gits.

If anyone is interested this may give them the opportunity to see some of these things from the teacher's perspective!

I have read a few of the trolling threads from start to finish (I remember the person who posted about dv, early labour, very prem baby) and in most cases, I have read the threads in an open mouthed way (before they are outed iyswim). But it still doesn't stop me from being sucked in on other threads, for eg I believed this (until the dn supposedly confessed to the ex)
It is sad that people feel the need to troll like this, but I guess in perspective, the % of trolls to normal threads, is still quite minimal?

I absolutely 100% agree with Lucia, that we should never go down the route of condoning false accusations. If I were ever in the situation of having a false accusation made against me, i would take legal action against the pupil - no doubt about it. For many reasons. Mainly because this kind of thing destroys lives, families and careers. Also, when you look at any type of dysfunctional behaviour - whether it's falsely accusing a teacher, stealing, dealing drugs, there is a higher chance that the perpetrator comes from a background of neglect/abuse etc. The only chance of breaking the cycle is to stand firm in the belief that having a crap background does not have to mean that you become a crap person. To condone it, or to create a two tier system as Lucia describes, is to basically leave people in that abyss - 'oh, they can't be expected to behave any differently, because they've had a rough time. therefore we'll turn a blind eye to them perpetuating the behaviour'.

Totally wrong. A disservice to every other teacher in the land, as well as a disservice to that pupil who made the false allegation, as it isn't helping them to realise the consequences of horrific behaviour,and a disservice to every child who has genuinely been abused.

There is a difference between not condoning an action and dragging a vulnerable child through the courts. The child in question was excluded, I know she was given a very difficult time by the other pupils, and in the end decided to move schools. I suspect she chose to accuse me because it was ridiculous, I am known as a very gentle teacher, not a soft touch but certainly the type to forgive and see the positive in people. By accusing me other things did come to light and I am glad of that. Of course at the time I was very very scared and could see my career draining away from me. I was someone who was well known in my local community not just for being a teacher so had a lot to loose.

But I guess we are just very different people and we are free to make our own choices.

I have in the past, backed by my union, refused to teach a pupil who had a history of allegation making without their being another adult in the room.

I think that it is good that people still read these sort of threads and answer them honestly and offering good advice. I know that it's hurtful when an OP is outed as a troll, but in my opinion, the fact that people answer genuinely shows their generosity, kindness and empathy. It would be a real shame, though, if trolls made these people cynical and untrusting.

Sorry that should read condoning an action and deciding not to drag a child through the courts. I think, sorry late night and my head is not working.

I am not sure what you would gain in my situation by not dragging a child through the cousts, she had retracted the accusation what punishment would be given?

Perhaps it may be different if the accusation remained on your file.

lose not loose I may go back to bed.

I think 'dragging a child through the courts' is an emotive way to describe it. I would prefer to say 'take legal action'.

You say you're not quite sure what would be gained, flatcap. I think the main issue would be a matter of principle. Not about what I would personally gain (because let's face it, I don't think a teacher who has been falsely accused is going to 'gain' anything. The best they can hope for is that something entirely false doesn't screw up their entire life. I'd hardly call that a 'gain'). It's about standing up for what is right I guess. I also feel very strongly that teaching is a demanding enough career, and if we are seriously going to encourage bright young people to enter it, they need to have faith that the systems designed to protect them will be adhered to strongly. Yes, going through the legal process would be tough on the pupil (and on the innocent teacher) but in the current climate I think it's absolutely vital that the right message is sent out. Otherwise innocent teachers will continue to suffer simply because such cases are hushed up, dealt with in house or whatever.

I can see your point, and that is why I refused to teach the child who had a history of making allegations because I think it is important that teachers feel safe.

When the accusation was first made I was furious and did want to throw the book at her, but as the days went on it became very clear that she was a very very vulnerable young lady experiencing abuse at home. I had restrained this child and should not have done as there was information in her school file saying that she was a vulnerable child and should be handled with caution. I made a mistake of not taking note of that. I can see how any physical contact from an adult could be interpreted wrongly and she saw me as a safe person she could accuse.

If you had restrained a child who you shouldn't have done, and you believe that you made a professional error, then I can see how that affected your judgement of how you wanted the situation resolved. I was referring to cases where there is no professional error, where a child (vulnerable or otherwise) makes a false accusation. I think it's absolutely vital for the sake of the teaching profession that such situations are dealt with through the legal process.

I have also refused to teach children with a known history of making allegations - again, I think it's vital teachers do this - and I also know teachers who refuse to teach children whose parents behave extremely badly - eg history of frequent complaints which prove to be unjustified. At the end of the day, we want good, dedicated teachers to remain in the profession. Everyone loses out if they don't. That's why I think it's entirely justified in these cases to refuse to teach a particular child - it means the teacher can get on with their job of teaching the majority of children who would never in a million years make up an allegation.

oh i see. this particular situation has been posted about before by another poster.

is there a link?

I was not told not to restrain her and I think in this case I had no choice or she would have injured herself or noone else. My union and school said I was blameless but I did take a risk making physical contact with a vulnerable child.

It is a very difficult situation from every angle.

I am not pleased about this but I am pleased that Lola has been outed at long last - I was getting a bit sick of being told I was mean and paranoid for accusing her of being a troll when it was patently obvious.

It is beyond sick & twisted that someone would make this up Makes me so &

Glad to hear she's been banned....although I doubt it will be long before she reappears with a new name

Thank you lifegoeson

I feel I have reported quite a few posts lately and don't want to be a nuisance about it but what can you do when you just have a feeling and why do people have to troll about abuse threads?

au revoir LolaTheShowgirl

Cant get that link up...........

you might want to read a few posts near the end of the thread dilemma