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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that my darling teen niece has lied about something so serious she has potentially ruined someones career?

354 replies

ReesiRoo · 13/06/2009 11:37

My lovely neice is 13 years old. Since the start of secondary school at age 11 she has been bullied. Although it has been all verbal and never violent, it has had a huge impact on her life and i've seen her go from a bubbly, confident girl to one who sits in her room constantly and doesn't know how to communicate anymore. It got to the point where DNeice was getting abuse from most of the kids in the class at every lesson, at break time, walking home from school, so it was happening several times a day. She is very bright but hates school or anything remotely academic as a result of the bullying.

My sister (neices mum) knows all about the bullying but has as much told her to get on with things and tell the kids to fuck off. Easy enough if neice was like that, but she is so painfully shy, it is never going to happen. I have thought about going into school to sort it for neice, but I didn't want anything bad to come of it, like making it worse for her, or my sister and I falling out. My neice has asked sister to move school on so many occasions, but Dsis has always refused, just for an easy life I suspect.

So now after 2 years of this DNeice has made an allegation towards one of her teachers. I can't go much into it but the teacher has been suspended and police have been involved. Dsis is STILL making DNeice go to school while all of this is happening and somehow, the kids in her class have got to know about it and as you can imagine, her life is a living hell with all the questioning and pointing, and word spreads quickly, so most of her year know about it now.

Thing is, I think my neice's allegations are false. I completely understand her reasons for coming up with this allegation, she wanted a way out, a way to actually make sis send her to a new school as it was probably the only way for her to get out of this hell hole of a school. I don't know what to do. If I ask DNeice directly, she will think I don't trust her and I am really the only adult figure in her life who she sees as reassurance and trustworthy, someone to talk to (least I hope she feels that way). Please advise.

OP posts:
MaggieMayUk · 13/06/2009 23:45

Indeed she will sycamoretree.

What did her old psuedo annainmanchester do so wrong that it labelled her as a troll?

ItsAllaBitNoisy · 13/06/2009 23:46

Some forums have a "flag" that pops up if a re-reg tries again and they are automatically banned, if from the same IP address.

FlappyTheBat · 14/06/2009 00:00

There was once was a showgirl called Lola,
Who decided she was also allogirl,
The namechange was fucked,
She ran out of luck,
And never came back again,

LaurieFairyCake · 14/06/2009 00:02

bloody hell

get some help Lola

fuck. I'm so glad I wasn't here this evening posting on here.

You have some mental health issues my dear.

MaggieMayUk · 14/06/2009 00:05

Don't be too previous flappybat!

FlappyTheBat · 14/06/2009 00:07

sorry, too much wine and watching TopGun, does things to a persons brain

policywonk · 14/06/2009 00:11

aitch

Did you see that someone was posting yesterday about problems registering with the BLW forum?

Ledodgy · 14/06/2009 00:16

Bloody hell just come on to this. Some people are weird.

AitchTwoOh · 14/06/2009 00:16

ah no i didn't, pw. the servers were hacked, the forum's been moved temporarily. where was the post, do you remember?

Tortington · 14/06/2009 00:26

It's all rather sad.

AbricotsSecs · 14/06/2009 00:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RumourOfAHurricane · 14/06/2009 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

QuintessentialShadow · 14/06/2009 00:48

ooooh MaggyMayUk..... new name, I presume?

HolyGuacamole · 14/06/2009 00:55

Grrrr

Eejits like this make me wanna name change and never divulge another detail about myself ever again. And it pisses me off that nice, decent people leave because of it too.

And weirdly enough, there is also a (small) part of me that feels pity for folks who have to make up big pretend elaborate stories to get attention.

Lola, you are a fucking disgrace.

QuintessentialShadow · 14/06/2009 00:59

not a disgrace, just a very sad and troubled individual, obviously with mental health problems, who needs help far beyond what this site can offer.

FenellaFudge · 14/06/2009 01:45

Gosh, how odd.

So perhaps Lola was the 13yo who falsely accused her teacher, still feels guilty and wanted to present her story in this way to gain conformation that that she wasn't really to blame, that it was understandable given the inaction of her mother and the school etc.

It's a shame but I don't think it excuses anything. Most people manage to deal with their shit without resorting to emotional vampirism.

Tortington · 14/06/2009 02:33

It appears that MysilencedPast was lola and this did happen.

so - why was she banned again?

-

also what was lola's other personality annainmanchester's wrong doing?

not rhetorical - i simply can't remember.

Kimi · 14/06/2009 09:46

Was it annie that did the calpol threads?

expatinscotland · 14/06/2009 09:56

No, it appears that MySilencedPast was Lola making up another story and doing more trolling.

It didn't happen. None of it happened.

That's why HQ banned the person for being a fucking troll.

Kimi · 14/06/2009 09:58

Just had a little google and LOLA has been here a fair while and posted in a very un-troll like fashion most of the time, I wonder what happened to change her?

policywonk · 14/06/2009 10:14

aitch

BLW forum problem thread here

Hijack over

Lifegoeson · 14/06/2009 10:25

I've been loooong time lurker, since I was mid pregnancy and my lo is now 5 months old! So I feel I know some of you quite well. I've obviously noticed the individuals style, oh yes, you are all v stylish natch!

Tripletroublemuffin - you were so right, I completely back you, I remember the thread when you mentioned Lola's dramatic life life - and I thought, you're not wrong! I saw you get flamed immediately after and thought, how can anyone else not see this?? But she did genuinely seem like 'one of the community'. Although I do remember, as she lives up north - thinking, with that life, she could be a character in Coronation Street!

Another thing I particularly noticed is that she had 'loads' of friends, but would never give any background, i.e. when someone posts regarding probs with friend or situation, they tend to give a bit of info, been friends for x years, met through school, work, etc, never any mention of history from her.

But as someone else said, Lola did offer and receive some sage advice,and came across as quite sensitive and sweet, if a bit of a doormat, which leads me to believe - as we know they are clearly mental health issues - that there maybe a multiple personality disorder.

On another note, ladies, and gents, the advice that is given on the various threads often helps in other situations, I know some of you feel mugged off, but someone somewhere will benefit from this. I have learned so much, in many ways from joining mumsnet, the sound advice that is given is invaluable.

I can't believe as a newbie, and having never posted before I was on 'live' when she was outed, thank god BGT was over!

SlartyBartFast · 14/06/2009 10:31

yes, i remember one shall we say unusual thread from her, after which i judged her as a nutcase oddball

harleyd · 14/06/2009 10:35

i actually feel sorry for her, she must be screwed up in the head
tbh i ignored most of her threads because they were nonsense

HecatesTwopenceworth · 14/06/2009 10:42

Like a lot of long-term trolls, she had her 'normal' persona (in her case, dramatic but not spiteful!) and then namechanged to do the really nasty stuff. I think of all the one time posters who have been coming on threads and saying something really horrible and wonder how many of them were her.