To want parents to stop blaming their child's teacher for everything?

[starlightexpress]

I'm just so sick of reading parents on here moaning about how crap their child's teacher is for one reason or another (not aimed at any particular thread this evening, btw).

In any given class of thirty-three, seventy percent of my time is spent dealing with about three kids who couldn't give a fuck. They don't want to learn, they don't want anyone else to learn. I'm not talking SEN, here, I'm talking just plain naughty.

As far as I'm concerned, the majority of the time when a parent is on here moaning about how shitty their child's teacher is, it falls into one of four categories.

Either your child is:

a)Badly brought up and you're making excuses for them.

b)So-called "SEN" which means they can behave when they want to, but misbehave most of the time using said SEN as an excuse. You allow them to do this because you prefer not to take any responsibility for their behaviour.

c)Genuinely suffering from an SEN, which I probably know very little about and am given little support (either in terms of training or TAs or resources)for.

d)Suffering from the fall out of "inclusion" which means that so much of my time is spent firefighting (see a, b and c) that I don't have the time to spend on your child that they deserve.

Of course there are crap teachers. There are also medicore teachers and there are good teachers who have crap days and make crap judgements sometimes. But mostly it is not your child's teacher's fault.

If you are a C or a D parent, then get thee to the Head, the governers, the local MP and kick up an almighty fuss. You're right to be upset, I don't blame you, I'm not happy about it either but what can I do? I'm doing my very very best but I can't fight the system on my own.

If you're an A or a B parent, do what the fuck you want - that's what you do anyway, and I'm not interested in your whining.

Before you ask, I teach in an inner city secondary school. Not the worst school in the whole world but not great either.

I'm a relatively experienced teacher with a decent results record. I don't have classroom management issues - last Ofsted (they actally watched some of my lesson) they said that this was a strength, fwiw. It's worth nothing actually, as Ofsted couldn't identify one end of a decent lesson from another, but I know their opinion matters to a lot of you.

Go on, flame me, I will have heard worse at parents evening, I can take it.

AIBU?

I don't think you're being even vaguely unreasonable. I'm just a mum, I volunteer at school, but nothing more. I think that most teachers are great. Some are average and some are crap. Why should it be any different in Education than it is in any other field?

Part of my responsibility as a parent is to help dd get used to the fact that not all her teachers will be brilliant. To learn regardless of what's going on around her. To be aware that all things are not equal in the world and she will often have shite to deal with...she may as well get used to it now.

I think the Government have made some really fundamental mistakes with inclusion. It just means that teachers spend the majority of their time looking after the few. The rest suffer.

I would like to say, though, as a parent of a PFB I did get a bit precious about dd when she was in Y1 as she got left out of a few one to one sessions because she was generally very bright so they thought she'd be o.k. . She's also used as a stabilising influence on the kids who struggle behaviourally. She's quiet, mature and above average academically, so they often pair her up with SN kids and the less mature kids. I don't mind. She's good at it and it's teaching her some really valuable skills in life.

Sorry...now I'm waffling. Main point is YANBU at all. Mind you, I know DD is no angel, but......

I have some (quite a lot actually) of sympathy with the OP,purely because of a situation in DD's class recently.
Four parents (that I know of),out of a class of 18 have had reason to meet with the teacher (4yr olds) to complain/discuss/raise concerns about a pupil in the class.
Several parents "feel" this poor child genuinely has some form of SEN (due to his very physical and odd behaviour).Mother is in denial and teacher seems to be too which I assume is down to lack of her exposure/training.
It must be very hard to try and be all things to all pupils in a class.

But hell-I would LOVE the holidays

Never mind, it'll soon be the loooooong Summer holidays.
I'm not being sarcastic just jealous

I personally love DS1s school and have no complaints about any of the teachers.

I do agree with inclusion but IMO it isn't funded properly.

Bad day, Starlight?

I'm glad i don't have to deal with you. OP
You sound bitter and angry and just a tad unpleasant tbh.

I've done a job for about 15yrs that means that i work bloody hard for people that either think i'm fab or just don't appreciate me at all. i've dealt with the npoorest end of society, ex convicts, mental patients and poeple who are jsut plain angry with society.
I've been threatned whilst tryiing to help them, one guy threatened to knee cap me if i didn't do as he wanted. i've dealt with the police force (trident- black on black violent crime) and the people involved in a shooting....

And i just hanks my lucky stars that i am lucky enough not to have the same crap in my life that alot of my clients have....

I could call them "dole scum" if i had a nasty attitude, but it isn't how i view it

Life is what you make it and it sounds like you are struggling with yor job just now and very disallusioned/ maybe it's time for a break...?

I also know that many teacher's are far from perfect, but they've got their heads so far up their own backsides that they can't see the light!

Ah yes, the summer hols.

I do love them.

Amused by the typo of Jeremy (Kyle) being "Germy" phonetically.

No complaints with the teaching staff at my dc's school - all appear very committed. Lots of innovation and fresh ideas. Bit concerned that dd doesn't get more help with her literacy issues however...

Are you quite sure that parents have this view of teachers? Bit of paranoia at play here?

Your post makes me sad and isn't my experience.
I think as soon as teachers start to see children as the problem they should change careers.
Your school is failing you if you routinely teach 33 (against Pay and Conditions) and is not giving you SENCO support with specific difficulties. Is it 3 children in every class you teach? In my school there are about 8 in each class who are on the register. I feel not one ounce of antagonism towards them being there and think inclusion is essential. Perhaps it is time to move schools??

PS I do get irritated when the media blames us for teenage pregnancy rates though...

I've vented my spleen already at a dept meeting so feel quite chilled but I understand your ire. It's the injustice of it all really and the desire to make everything right, even the things beyond your control. But tomorrow a pupil will do something marvellous and it will remind you why you also adore the job.

oopsagain - Yep, bitter and angry that's me.

Not all the time. And most of the time I try to give all the kids I teach my very best efforts.

But sometimes I get hacked off with shitty kids and their shitty parents. I am human.

Blimey you dont work in DS's school do you?

I added to my thread tonight, have meeting with dep head reagarding a letter of complaint.

NOT about DS's teacher though. DS's teachers have been brilliant. But all three + LSAs have been expected to teach/support/understand him without ANY information whatsoever. Despite me keeping school fully informed this information has not been passed on.

BTW the phrase least likely to pass my lips about any of my boys 'he is no angel but....'

More likely 'I know he is a little bugger but....'

I have had kids in the school system for 12 ish years. Its def got worse. Not the system, I mean the way parents think they should dictate what goes on in the classroom, that their child is far and away the most important being in the school (to the exclusion of ALL others), how everything is unfair, dangerous, rubbish, a waste of time, not challenging enough, too hard blah blardy blah.

Its a weird mixture of 'its not my responsibility' and 'you have no right to tell me or my child what to do'.

I wouldnt be a teacher.

Cant spell, cant add up and would probably slap the first parent who said 'I know hes no angel but.....'

Sorry to moralise - but if the kids are shitty, it's because of their upbringing not their nature....

You sound like the shitty one starlight with that attitude. Maybe they pick up on your shitty attitude.

Honestly though, how often do you view kids as "shitty"? If it is daily then you are in the wrong place...

Maryz - yes of course.

But that will be a temporary issue and any decent teacher understands that some circumstances have a negative impact on a normally well behaved child's behaviour and will make allowances.

Sorry you're having a bad time.

Not helpful steviesgirl. Starlight is obviously feeling beleaguered.

No clemette, of course not daily.

Have you honestly never, not once, in years of teaching, thought "God that child is a right little shit"?

but it isn't the answer to insult everyone whose children do have what you ahve failed to see as SN tbh.

My ds1 has ishooes and i've discussed it with teachers.... he's bloody perfect at school- he's polite, bright and very very willing to please.
Unless you touch him... and then he freaks.
He does at home sometimes and we have been working hard to deal with it... I don't blame the TA for touching him the other day, she got a completely freaked out 5 yr old to deal with.
I explained to her how the change has occurred form nice to freaky ie she'd touched him.

I'd liek him to behvae differently, bloody hell it would be great to have a lovely compliant child that you crave too. But sometimes shit happens. he's not aperger's, been assessed.
He's just wired a bit differently...
so we all hahve to suck it up TBH.

He'll do brilliantly in SATs for the school.. he's the youngesst in yr1 and already working to levle 3b (or something) so will be great for school, but they have to remember not to touch him..