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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to not like my children being referred to as "the twins"

97 replies

pjmama · 27/05/2009 13:23

I'm sure it won't scar them for life but, it is a pet hate of mine! I don't like the idea of them being referenced as a single unit instead of by their names. But then again people refer to their children as "the kids" or "the children" all the time, so I wonder if "the twins" is really any different and I'm just being silly?

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 27/05/2009 13:24

Yes, you are just being silly. Would you prefer people to call them The Twats?

flowerybeanbag · 27/05/2009 13:25

Can't see how it's different from 'the children' or 'the girls' or 'the boys', as long as it's used in the same context as those would be.

roulade · 27/05/2009 13:26

I have sisters who are identical twins and they are always called 'the twins' or 'the girls' they don't mind this in the slightest, so imo yab veryslightly u

Grattage · 27/05/2009 13:26

YABU

Original poster
pjmama · 27/05/2009 13:29

PuppyMonkey - that wasn't very nice!

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 27/05/2009 13:31

It's no different from "the children" or any other way of describing them as a group. I'd only fret about it if people start treating them as if they had one single personality rather than being separate people.

Original poster
pjmama · 27/05/2009 13:32

Sounds like I just need to get over myself then! Thanks everyone

OP posts:
namechangerforareason · 27/05/2009 13:36

I have a cousin who has triplets and even she refers to them as "the triplets". Just words, you will get used to it but if it really bothers you just let people know you would prefer they were known as (their names).
My cousins children all have their own identities and being known as the triplets has never had any detremental impact on them or their self esteem etc.

LisaD1 · 27/05/2009 13:39

I have twin nephews and we all refer to them as the twins or the boys, it's just laziness as it's easier than saying both names! My family also ask me how "the girls" are when speaking about my children, they're not twins (8 year age gap) so don't see any difference to calling my nephews the twins.

weebump · 27/05/2009 13:41

When I was growing up - the youngest in a family of 5 children - myself and the next youngest were constantly referred to as "the wee ones". I didn't mind, as we were very close.

thumbwitch · 27/05/2009 13:43

bit silly possibly, as it is a distinguishing feature of them that they ARE twins. It's going to happen a lot so you are possibly going to have to get over it or end up wearing your teeth down to stubs with constant gritting

violethill · 27/05/2009 13:45

It's a little annoying but no more than that.

leonifay · 27/05/2009 13:46

it wont hurt them, but it is a bit annoying. i was always one of 'the girls' and my 2 brothers were 'the boys' it used to annoy the hell out of me because i was never my own person iyswim. now i do it to my mindees when i just want the 2 girls.

paranoid2 · 27/05/2009 13:52

YABU but so am I. I dont like it either . My Mum has 4 grandsons and she always refers to my two as the twins but her other two get called by their names. I know it makes no sense to dislike it and I dont mind that much but it always irks me somewhat. Other relatives also refer to them as the twins. I think the word "twins" seems to imply a similiarity thats missing when using "boys" or "children". Another one that annoys me is "They are so different" as if its an amazing fact that there could be more physical /other differences between 2 children who happen to be born at the same time as opposed to siblings born at different times. Different of course if they are ID

TwoIfBySea · 27/05/2009 14:00

YANBU, sort of, my dts get that sometimes, having them in separate classes at school helps though but neighbourhood children call them the "twinnies". Dts don't mind it as at least during school they get to be their own identities.

What I do find offensive is when someone asks which one is the bad one. Now that is annoying.

jellybeans · 27/05/2009 14:00

I have twins and it never bothered me! More important stuff to worry about!

womma · 27/05/2009 14:01

You great big silly billy - get a life! YABU by the way.

bubblagirl · 27/05/2009 14:02

i have a twin brother and through out family and friends and other people we are the twins doesn't worry me at all

KristinaM · 27/05/2009 14:04

YABU

its just the same as saying the boys/girls or the children

EllieG · 27/05/2009 14:05

YAB slightlyU but I can understand it, as I am always aware of that kind of thing, and would probably bother me if I had twins. As long as they are not treated as having a single identity rather than being two individuals they will be OK.

But I think some people are being a bit hard - is an understandable thing

StewieGriffinsMom · 27/05/2009 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

retiredgoth2 · 27/05/2009 14:09

....I call my twins 'The Monozygotic Urchins'.

Now 8, they are less than enamoured of this moniker.

...I simply tell them shit happens it is a mark of affection.

lljkk · 27/05/2009 14:10

My experience (lots!) of id twins is they can easily carve out their own unique niches & identities, they don't need any special help.

RustyBear · 27/05/2009 14:16

My brothers (not twins but close in age) have always been referred to as 'the boys' - my Dad still does it and DB1 will be 59 next month.

Oddly enough he has never called me and my sister 'the girls', even though we are even closer in age.

ramonaquimby · 27/05/2009 14:17

have 3 girls here and they are collectively 'the girls'
don't mind it