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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my dd's nursery to teach her to say "ta"?!

300 replies

mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:10

Not to be snobby or anything .... ... but I HATE babies being taught to say "ta" - my dd (11 months) has just started in nursery and all the nursery staff tell her to say "ta" all the time - I don't like it, but have the feeling I would be a bit awful to ask them not to?

OP posts:
Worldsworstmummy · 27/05/2009 10:12

don't say anything. its only nursery, and she will forget all those words the moment she's in another environment.

I hate it too, but at least its teaching them good manners!

sleepymommy · 27/05/2009 10:13

Hmm, I can see what you mean, but I think I'd leave it. Ta won't stick anyway.Pick your battles and all that.

Gorionine · 27/05/2009 10:15

YANBU but like yourself I think it might be a bit hard to ask.

Why don't you (I am sure you already do BTW) insist on her saying "thank you" at home so she learns it the right way and will use it in nursery too?

Bucharest · 27/05/2009 10:17

At 11 mths she'd presumably find "thank you very much" a bit of a mouthful Babies for generations have said "ta" as it's a sound that is part of their natural pre-verbal babbling. If you allow her to use "ta" now, "thank you" will come much more easily to her later.

flamingobingo · 27/05/2009 10:20

Ta is daft - they have to relearn it all when they're old enough to say thank you!

All that matters when they're learning to talk is that they say something by way of thanks.

My DD1 said 'cue', DD2 said 'bedah' , DD3 says 'dadoo'.

I would be annoyed too, but then if it's that important that they learn the things you want them to learn, the way you want them to learn them, then don't send them to nursery! So yab a bit u!

elliepac · 27/05/2009 10:21

my mum taught DS to say ta from an early age. I was a little worried but at least it instills manner and he now, and has always, said thank you very well. Don't worry yourself about it.

FabulousBakerGirl · 27/05/2009 10:21

YABU

They soon learn to say thank you.

Ta is absolutely fine, It is more important that chidren learn manners at a young age than wait until they can say the correct iyo word.

blowninonabreeze · 27/05/2009 10:22

YANBU I hate it
Ditto nee-nor for police cars, moo cow, brum brum cars etc etc etc

scarletlilybug · 27/05/2009 10:23

Can't you just ask them to teach her to say "thank you" instead? They might not always remember, but I hate the "ta" thing, too.
YANBU.

BarbaraWoodlouse · 27/05/2009 10:23

Personally I don't like "ta" either (although DD's nursery don't do this. They teach the babies to sign thank you.)

I also dislike "bum" (as in "change your bum") and "belly".

IMO however this is part of the package of not caring for DCs yourself 24/7 - they will innevitably be exposed to other people's phrases and behaviours. I'm sure you'll find that if you consistently use "thank you" at home without making a big deal of it then DD will eventually follow your lead, even whilst saying "ta" when she's at nursery. Kids are pretty adaptable, I don't think it will be confusing for her.

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:24

Yeah I kind of feel a bit unreasonable but am just going to keep on saying "thank you" at home. My mum is always really snobby about my cousin's daughter saying "ta nan" which is probably why I'm thinking I don't like it so much!

flamingobingo, nice idea about how if I don't want her to learn other stuff then don't send her to nursery ... but how would we pay the mortgage?!

OP posts:
Pheebe · 27/05/2009 10:25

I'm with FBG on this, ta is fine. Much easier to say when learning to speak anyway and far more important that they learn good manners as a habit at this age.

So not U to not like it, but U to insist on it.

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:27

What I've been doing is always making a point of saying "say thank you Isla!" in front of the nursery nurses in the hope that they will notice but they then repeatedly say "ta" (in broad Leeds accents too )

OP posts:
cthea · 27/05/2009 10:27

Why is "ta" so bad? What are the class connotations in this one, there must be some, otherwise? DD2 (20 months) says "you-you". I have no idea what they teach her at nursery regarding thank-yous.

cthea · 27/05/2009 10:29

"Ditto nee-nor for police cars, moo cow, brum brum cars etc etc etc "

I think there are different schools of thought on this one. Some would say it's useful to have sounds associated with words and then the words will come too. Others will want their babies to speak like little gentlemen and ladies with none of this babytalk.

Hersetta · 27/05/2009 10:29

I think it's just part of their developmental process. We always said 'ta' to our daughter and when she started to say it all the time when she was 11 months we moved on to thank you. By 13 months she was saying thank you all the time so we moved on to saying thank you very much. At 20 months she now says 'thank you much' when you give her something and if you say thank you to her she says 'you're welcome'.

Just because she starts with ta doesn't mean it's the only thing she will ever say.

OlympedeGouges · 27/05/2009 10:29

it would annoy me but I think it won't stick at that age. What annoys me more is ds's karate teacher corrects ds [4] every time he asks to go to the loo. Every time he says 'you mean toilet'.

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 10:30

loathe ta, loathe bum, loathe belly. it totally depends on your relationship with the nursery but if you like them and are kinda pally then i'd say that her nan disapproves and pull a few faces. (although i don't like nan either ).

it's no easier for a baby to say 'ta' than 'fankoo' or 'koo' imo. and at eleven months dd was saying 'fankoo' no bother.

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:30

Baby talk is fine by me, I just think "ta" sounds a bit chav funny to be honest!

OP posts:
maltesers · 27/05/2009 10:31

Havnt read all this thread, but i agree with you mummyisla.. i would hate it too. If you really think the nursery is no good as well then you could always send dd somewhere else. However, if she is happy there and settled its hard to extract her. There must be loads of other nurseries tho that teach kids to speak properly. I know she is only young but saying "ta" is common as muck .. SOrry slate me if you dare. !! Thankyou is a little more educated... afterall when you go for a job interview it doesnt go down too well when you meet the BOss and he says take a seat and you say "TA" !!!!!!! oooppps !! Cross her off the list immediately !

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:31

have never heard "change your bum" but don't like that!!

OP posts:
OlympedeGouges · 27/05/2009 10:33

it is nothing to do with teaching your children to talk like little ladies and gentlemen. I find baby language mildly annoying, I also think [vaguely remember] that using proper vocab stimulates speech development.

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:33

maltesers I agree.

She's only just started there though and it's really conveniently located (we live in the middle of nowhere and it's by the train station we can commute in on).

Can move her when she's 2 to a great local one also on way in.

Feeling a bit sobby!

OP posts:
jumpingbeans · 27/05/2009 10:33

I remember saying "thankyou" to a little one, and I mean little, about 12/13 months and see looked at me and said "your Welcome" made me smile all day, still dose now

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:34

oops, snobby!

Think I will actually ask them "do you mind saying thank you to Isla, not ta" and not give any reasons.

OP posts: