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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my dd's nursery to teach her to say "ta"?!

300 replies

mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:10

Not to be snobby or anything .... ... but I HATE babies being taught to say "ta" - my dd (11 months) has just started in nursery and all the nursery staff tell her to say "ta" all the time - I don't like it, but have the feeling I would be a bit awful to ask them not to?

OP posts:
goldrock · 27/05/2009 13:47

CACC - he he - I realised that as soon as I'd pressed post but you never know it might catch on

kaylasmum · 27/05/2009 13:48

i don't understand why anyone would have a problem with their child saying "ta"! there's a lot worse they could be saying! I also use the term "change your bum".

IMHO YABU!

womma · 27/05/2009 13:51

Does it matter that much? I'm sure we were all taught to say 'Ta', 'moo cow' etc, but we didn't say it for long and we don't say it now do we? It's natural for children to use different words as their language develops.
Does sound snobby to me.

FrannyandZooey · 27/05/2009 13:53

why bother teaching babies to say thank you? they don't know what it means to feel thankful or indebted to someone
ruddy nonsense to say that teaching babies of 11 months old to say thank you is anything to do with genuine good manners in older children

cthea · 27/05/2009 13:55

At that age it's conditioning, I suppose. You get something you say "thank-you". Just because they don't understand it you wouldn't suggest adults not use it to babies. They will eventually learn it and who's to say the exact time when each child is ready for it?

FrannyandZooey · 27/05/2009 13:58

i do use it - i'm an adult
i wouldn't teach a baby to say it
if they learn by copying adult behaviour then they are learning social skills - but people are talking about "teaching them" (usually done by holding out biscuit or whatever and saying 'ta' until child says it back)

goldrock · 27/05/2009 14:03

FandZ - I think we are all agreeing that its good to teach babies that a response is required when they are given something, we're just disgareeing on what that should be. Obviously the baby doesn't understand what he's saying but he will do in the same way he learns what all words mean.

onagar · 27/05/2009 14:03

Where I come from we all say ta, dunno, yeah, wot?, seeya, and few of us pronounce our aitches correctly.

We get by though and don't feel terribly deprived

reducedfatkettlechip · 27/05/2009 14:04

YANBU, I hate it too. ds2 (21 months) is perfectly capable of saying thankyou, and has been for months, but his childminder always asks him to say "ta" so I think he's a bit confused and has started using it at home too. Even ds1 who has a severe language delay, has always managed a version of thankyou, we've never had to resort to "ta."

Don't want to mention it to CM as I know it's trivial but it does secretly annoy me!! If you are a snob for hating the word then I must be too!!

cthea · 27/05/2009 14:06

Being a snob isn't a badge of honour, you know

EllieG · 27/05/2009 14:12

YANBU - I hate it too. My DD is also being taught this at nursery and I was wondering whether to say something, as she will just have to un-learn it. Plus I think the approximations they have for 'thank you' are much cuter than 'ta' - my friend's LO used to say 'fan-chu' and it was adorable. I know is illogical, but I really, really hate ta.

womma · 27/05/2009 14:18

Do people not like 'Ta' because they think it's a bit common? That's what it sounds like

cthea · 27/05/2009 14:22

Yep, womma, too common. Next thing we'll all also profess to hate sausage rolls even if we had no idea what they were before coming on MN. I never heard IRL anyone say they hated "ta".

EllieG · 27/05/2009 14:24

I have. I don't think it's common, I just don't like using silly versions of words which they will just have to un-learn. I am very common anyway, as have frequently said 'change yer bum' to DD

goldrock · 27/05/2009 14:28

but cthea isn't part of the attraction of mumsnet that we can admit to things we wouldn't say in RL? I often shop at Greggs and am happy to admit that anywhere, my DCs love their savoury lunch items.

womma · 27/05/2009 14:29

The quip about the Leeds accent just really got my goat. Can't the OP find a nursery where all the staff use RP? For Gawd's sake!

juneybean · 27/05/2009 14:31

Oh oh so it's not because it's common it's because it's just not adorable when said by a 1 year old

I love Greggs though lol

womma · 27/05/2009 14:31

You're right goldrock, in RL I'd be sat here with a big fake smile on my face, saying nothing and fuming inside. Ta (in a proper Beeston accent, so ner!!)

Bobblebuddy · 27/05/2009 14:33

I think "ta" is used as a stop gap until the baby is old enough to learn to say thank you.

Thank you is a lot harder to say! But they can get the idea of thanking you for things by saying ta much earlier.

My dd (now 2y3m) used to say ta and as soon as we thought she could handle saying thank you, we switched to using that more and she has totally lost the ta and now says thank you all the time instead.

I used to think like you - that I don't really like 'ta' - but if you just think of it as a short term thing, it's really not a big deal.

turtle23 · 27/05/2009 14:36

Have to admit I hate it too. MIL always tries to get DS to say it. I always chip in with "Yes, say THANK YOU"

cthea · 27/05/2009 14:43

"but cthea isn't part of the attraction of mumsnet that we can admit to things we wouldn't say in RL?" Well, yes, and also get a whole lot of prejudices we wouldn't otherwise have.

knockedgymnast · 27/05/2009 14:45

At 11 months old, it's a simplistic way of saying 'thank you', that's all.

Why not get her to say 'nice one' instead?

VictorianSqualor · 27/05/2009 15:33

OMG, This is ridiculous!!

I work in a nursery and most babies at eleven months old cannot say much at all, certainly not thank-you. Get over it.

And I CANNOT BELIEVE you equate someone's mother calling breastfeeding her baby 'booboo' with refusing solids at 12 months. LOL

I think someone said earlier about things like 'woof-woof' and 'nee-naw' etc but IIRC a poster from here knows quite a bit about babies learning to talk and had said on a previous thread that it is GOOD for the child to learn that way because it's how they learn to connect objects with names, by the noise.

VictorianSqualor · 27/05/2009 16:17

ALSO, sorry but I've reread this thread and am still quite astounded that the OP can claim such offence at a word she claims is 'chav' yet uses '2' instead of 'to' in her name, does not capitalise her 'I', and says 'yeah'.
I assume the written word doesn't bother you as much?

juneybean · 27/05/2009 16:19

LOL @ VS