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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my dd's nursery to teach her to say "ta"?!

300 replies

mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:10

Not to be snobby or anything .... ... but I HATE babies being taught to say "ta" - my dd (11 months) has just started in nursery and all the nursery staff tell her to say "ta" all the time - I don't like it, but have the feeling I would be a bit awful to ask them not to?

OP posts:
grumblinalong · 27/05/2009 10:34

At least they're teaching her something approaching manners. There was a thread on here recently that debated the neccessity for good manners and there was overwhelming support for children to learn them so it is good that they're starting early at nursery. We live in yorkshire too, I admit I catch myself saying 'Ta' naturally. DP hates it because he's not from round 'ere but I can't help it and DS2 always responds with ta and never thank you!

RedLentil · 27/05/2009 10:35

Talking to your daughter in 'broad Leeds accents'?

How very dare they!

Class is clearly an issue here ...

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 10:35

lol at littl ladies and gentlemen. noooo, like people. you don't say 'TA-AH' when someone gives you something, i take it? it didn't occur to me to call a car a brum-brum or a dog a 'woof woof' when car and dog are easy words.

goldrock · 27/05/2009 10:35

YANBU - I have bitten my tongue with 4 DCs through their nursery years as the staff always said ta but it is a very small price to pay for an otherwise fantastic nursery and the older DCs don't say it now. As it happens DC4 who's 14mths can only make one recognisable sound and its "thank you" on both taking and giving.
My DCs laugh at me as I have a whole list of words that I don't like, not for any particular reasons, but they just grate on me, as someone above said "belly" is definately one of them.

cthea · 27/05/2009 10:35

Do you hear a baby saying "ta" and think "what a chav"? You must do, otherwise it wouldn't bother you.

Maybe some babies have elaborate language skills at an early age but not all do. I see "ta" no different to motherease, just a step towards more sophisticated language.

Aith - i think "ta" is easier to say than "koo" as it comes from the front of the mouth rather than the back.

flamingobingo · 27/05/2009 10:37

"nice idea about how if I don't want her to learn other stuff then don't send her to nursery ... but how would we pay the mortgage?!"

Do you really want that debate? Fact is, you have to decide what's more important to you. If it is really, really important to you that she's not taught 'ta' then you have to find a way around sending her to nursery. I'm not going to comment on your life or choices or make suggestions as I don't know the ins and outs and it's not my business. But if you put your child in childcare then you have to accept they might learn things you don't like.

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:38

Sorry but I do think a baby saying "taaaaa" is not as nice as a baby saying "ankoo" or "koo" ..

OP posts:
grumblinalong · 27/05/2009 10:38

LOL. Actually Aitch, you wouldn't believe the amount of people who say 'Ta' round here. Adults included. The cashier in the shop said it to me this morning when I gave her the money for our free range eggs.

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 10:39

well i personally don't like it much when dd comes home from nursery speaking in a broader accent than mine (as she does occasionally). meh, maybe it's class, maybe it's simply that she doesn't sound like my child, but someone else's. i don't think that's an outrageous maternal response, to respond to her child sounding like a cuckoo in the nest.

grumblinalong · 27/05/2009 10:39

Ooops, AROUND here!!!

FabulousBakerGirl · 27/05/2009 10:40

Yep, you are a snob.

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:40

flamingobingo, some perspective please!!

I don't want her to be taught ta but clearly it would be bl**dy unreasonable to pull her out of nursery, quit my (part-time!) job and stay at home so that she gets more exposure to "thank you" - I was looking for a bit of reasonable advice.

OP posts:
cthea · 27/05/2009 10:40

"you don't say 'TA-AH' when someone gives you something, i take it?" I don't, English is my second language so i'm quite uptight in the way i use it, but see above someone who does as it's what they do round there.

"it didn't occur to me to call a car a brum-brum or a dog a 'woof woof' when car and dog are easy words." Easy words, fair enough, but giving them the sounds can only enrich their vocabularies. Cars and dogs don't make those noises but neither does rain go pitter-patter or whatever. You still teach children other words.

SummatAnNowt · 27/05/2009 10:42

wtf is wrong with ta?!?! Perfectly normal for people of all ages to say it where I'm from, same with belly and bum.

alicecrail · 27/05/2009 10:42

Saying 'ta' always seemed normal to me as all my family say it to the babies, but once i had DD, Dh and i kind of cringe when someone says to her 'say ta' She says 'ker' which i think is the start of thank you. She is more into certain sounds in words rather than whole words iyswim?

Tbh, i think like many others on here, if you speak to her properly at home then she is likely to pick up how you speak rather than how the nursery are teaching her.

cthea · 27/05/2009 10:42

"Sorry but I do think a baby saying "taaaaa" is not as nice as a baby saying "ankoo" or "koo" .. " It may not sound as nice to you, but babies don't have class hang-ups yet.

lovelyboy · 27/05/2009 10:43

I am with you on this one 'ta' is absolutely awful. My mum used to do that with my ds and i used to go mad. You are completely right luv, blimey we want our kids to speak the proper English language dont we. Nursery should know better. You are no way snobby.

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 10:43

actually, thinking about it, ta as a quick thanks by an adult i hear fairly often and don't have an issue with, in fact i'm sure i say it myself. it's that ghastly 'say ta' 'TA-AAAH' thing that gives me the heebs. and my dd could say thankyou or thereabouts at eleven months so she'd have been some kind of prodigy saying 'ta' even earlier... which i doubt.

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:44

I guess maybe because it is not something I would say?! I would however say "woof-woof" and refer to our cat as "puss-puss" so I guess it's personal preference ... it's quite a weird situation to be in though suddenly after having had her 24/7 for 10 1/2 months to have people teaching her things I don't want her to say ... I guess this is the future hey!

OP posts:
Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:45

Yeah "say ta", "taaaaah", yuk.

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 10:46

cthea, using brum-brum as a noun is daft. pointing out that a dog says woof-woof is not. i don't think anyone's sayig that telling your child the rain makes a pitter patter noise is wrong...

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 10:47

just blame grandma, say she hates it and is getting on your nerves and could they try to use thank you as well...

goldrock · 27/05/2009 10:47

Oooh - don't get started on broom broom etc - I really don't get any of that, why not just say the correct word. It can't be any harder for a baby to say dog than it is to say woof woof and isn't it better to say "that's a dog and it says woof woof" and the baby can learn twice as much in the same time. I have to admit to cringing when I hear adults talking very loudly in baby language in public.

Original poster
mummy2isla · 27/05/2009 10:49

Ooh I like the idea of blaming grandma. Or I could always get dh to mention it - he drops her off in the morning?

I don't get the point of referring to a car as a brum brum - I went to baby sign classes and loved it (and Isla does the milk sign!) but the whole point of that is that you say the proper word while you sign - not JUST sign / say the noise it makes..

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 10:49

although there has been reserach, i'm sure, to say that baby language is a good thing,i can't remember why.(in fact i suspect that 'speaking to your child' is a good thing.) it just didn't occur to me, however, to substitute perfectly good, easy words with babyish ones.

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